


Beneath Your Bones

by cloudsmachinations (spnblargh)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Childhood Memories, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Plot, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Canon, Protective Thor (Marvel), Resurrection, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Telepathic Bond, Temporary Amnesia, Thor-centric, Two Minds One Body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 14:52:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 77,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16431548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnblargh/pseuds/cloudsmachinations
Summary: Post-Infinity War.In the wake of Thanos’s victory, Thor and the rest of the Avengers must stand together, or else fall apart like the rest of the universe. But when Thor, helpless with grief, returns to the Statesman in search of survivors, he brings something — or someone — back with him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO
> 
> This is my fic written as part of the **[Thorkibigbang18](https://thorkibigbang.tumblr.com/)!  
> **  
>  This is the longest thing I've written in over 10 years. It's the end result of five months of writing on weekends, during lunch breaks, after work...during work...and I am immensely proud to post it today!
> 
> I have a few people I need to thank:  
> To my artist Angie, THANK YOU for creating such [beautiful art](http://angeline-farewell.tumblr.com/post/179518677608/my-art-for-the-thorkibigbang2018-exchange-its) for this story.  
> To my beta Edwina, THANK YOU for giving me such helpful feedback during the early stages of this story. It was invaluable!  
> To the mods of Thorkibigbang, THANK YOU for creating such a wonderful challenge! It's been an absolute delight!  
> To the Thorki community, THANK YOU for being such a pleasant and welcoming community!  
> And to my friend Kathy, who has been endlessly supportive during the creation of this story, THANK YOU!
> 
> Warnings: Some MCU-level violence, some discussions that could be interpreted as suicidal ideation.
> 
> AND NOW...enjoy!

“We need to find Tony.”

Steve Rogers was the first to suggest it. It had been a good 72 hours since the universe had been cleaved in two, and he’d seldom spoken since he’d knelt beside the ashes of his friend. Thor knew that the Captain always carried fire in his eyes, lived and breathed courage and a sense of responsibility. That fire had been absent since Thanos snapped his fingers. Now, the kindlings of flame were returning.

The remaining Avengers had been milling around in one of the large dining rooms of the New Avengers Facility. They’d landed only a few hours ago. The only person not present was Rhodes, who elected to stay behind in Wakanda to assist the newly crowned Queen Shuri.

Breakfast had been simple, silent, and they’d been staring anywhere but at each other for a good hour or so. Thor had taken up a spot on a wide windowsill, gazing blankly at the overcast sky. For the first two days, a great sorrow had laid claim to his heart, but he’d awoken this morning with an emptiness he could not shake. All of his sadness and rage had been smothered beneath the numbing touch of grief.

Upon Steve’s suggestion, Bruce scrubbed a hand through his hair. He’d been in the middle of making tea for himself and stirred the water excessively now. “That’s easier said than done.”

“Of course,” Steve inclined his head. “But Thanos is gone now and all we have is time, at least from where I’m standing.”

“Well,” Bruce said, taking a sip and wincing when he burned his tongue, “last I saw him, he went flying after one of Thanos’s servants. Doctor Strange got kidnapped because he had one of the Infinity Stones and—”

“Who?” Natasha interrupted.

“He is a wizard,” Thor supplied.

“...continue.”

“He and Spider-Man went after the spaceship and, uh, I haven’t seen or heard from him since,” Bruce said. “I called you as soon as Tony left.”

“So he might not even be on the same planet as us,” Steve said, deflating.

Or alive, Thor mused darkly.

“Is there any way we can find him?” Natasha asked, striding towards Bruce. “He’ll have one of his suits. There’s got to be a way of locating it.”

Bruce rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “He’d definitely have a tracker built into the suit, but if he’s on another planet, that signal must be pretty weak. I’d be surprised if we could trace him at all once he’s out of Earth’s atmosphere.”

Thor looked down when he heard Rocket snort. His newest friend had been sitting on a cushion he’d grabbed off the couch, parked beneath the same windowsill Thor was occupying. He was taking apart and polishing one of his weapons.

“That sounds like a pretty limited tracker if you ask me,” Rocket said.

Bruce’s face lit up. “Do you have access to a better tracker?”

“Not access to one, but I can probably upgrade whatever you guys are packing.” Rocket gave him a half-smirk. “I’m the go-to guy for DIY inventions. Although, who is this Tony guy? Am I supposed to care?”

“He’s smart, resourceful...” Steve said, although Thor noted an odd look in the Captain’s eyes, something like regret. “If we can find him, he would be invaluable to us.”

“Uh-huh,” Rocket said, sliding two metal pieces together with a satisfying click.

“Most importantly, he is a friend,” Thor said. “If he is alive, we need to find him. He may very well be in trouble.”

Rocket nodded, his expression downcast. “We need all the friends we can get, I suppose.”

 

\---

 

Darkness filled the sky now, the moon barely peeking out from behind cloud cover. Thor had not moved from the windowsill despite the ache in his muscles. The others had left a while ago. Bruce and Rocket had jogged out of the room in the direction of the lab, chatting animatedly. Steve and Natasha had remained a while longer, shooting glances at Thor and drawing him into brief conversation before taking their leave. Steve was itching to exercise and distract himself, and Natasha did not do well sitting idly by.

Thor had not eaten since that morning despite usually enjoying a comfortable three meals a day. An Asgardian could survive easily on less, but the act of feasting was a happy occasion, spent in the company of comrades and family. When his friends didn’t return, Thor saw no reason to eat. His appetite had all but vanished.

He stared up at the sky, unable to see the stars from here. If he wanted to, he could probably will the clouds to part, but he didn’t bother. He ran his hands over Stormbreaker’s handle, finding it comforting to hold a weapon again, though it was not familiar like Mjölnir. Mjölnir’s handle had been smooth, sleek and slightly curved to the shape of his palm after centuries of use. Stormbreaker’s handle was still fresh, wooden, had barely seen battle. He thought of Groot and then thought of Rocket, too — specifically the small twig that Rocket had salvaged from Groot’s remains. He had slipped it into his shirt pocket and kept it on him ever since.

There was but one memento that Thor had now, though it was buried inside his small bag of belongings. It was a dented tin box about the size of his palm, found on Sakaar amongst the trash. What mattered was what lay inside, however: a single lock of Loki’s hair, the same braid that had been shaved off along with the rest of Thor’s hair.

When he found Loki alive and well on Asgard, it had minimised his sacrifice on Svartálfheim considerably. Although Thor had been furious with Loki at the time, the moment that madman had begun to shave Thor’s head, something possessed him to keep his brother’s braid. Once his hair grows out again, he would weave the lock back in place. For now, he couldn’t stomach looking at it. If he closed his eyes for too long, those memories of the Statesman returned to him in violent flashes. Loki’s empty eyes may very well haunt him for all eternity.

But something else haunted him as well — something that he had been desperately trying to put out of his mind. In those final moments, his cheek resting on Loki’s chest, he swore that he heard something echo beneath his brother’s ribs:

_Thump-thump...thump-thump..._

It was fantasy. It had to be, but...

Thor nearly jumped out of his skin when the doors slid open. He recognised Natasha’s approach by the sound of her boots. He turned to her and was met with an assessing look. Her arms were folded over her chest, head tilted to the side.

There was silence for a moment and then, as a way to distract his racing heart, Thor spoke. “I like your new hair.”

She chuckled, coming to stand beside him. “Thanks, I coloured it a while ago. I like _your_ new hair,” she said, nodding at him. “Or lack of it, I guess.”

Thor’s shoulders slumped. “It was not my choice.”

“There’s a story there,” she said with amusement.

“Perhaps I will tell it when the others are here,” he said. “It is quite the tale.”

“I’ll bet.”

They were quiet again, their attention drawn out the window. Though the glass was thick, the wind shook the windows. The clouds were carried rapidly to the east, revealing thin streaks of moonlight. For the moment, they were captivated.

Eventually Natasha said, “What happened to you?”

“Shall I tell you the hair story now, then?”

“No,” she snorted. “You know what I mean. What happened after—” She struggled for a moment. “You know, after New York.”

Thor had lived for over a millennia, but that time on Earth facing his brother with the Avengers? That felt twice as long ago.

“Much has happened since then. I would not know where to begin.”

“You took Loki back to your home,” she said. “Start there.”

The next thump of his heart was a painful one. “I can’t speak of that,” Thor whispered. “Not yet.”

“I won’t press you,” she said, her eyes sympathetic. “You can tell me whatever you want. Or not tell me, you know...but considering you’ve been sitting here all day and night, I figured you might want to talk.”

Thor looked down at Stormbreaker thoughtfully. “I struggle to find the words to express my grief, but I appreciate your offer to listen.”

He gave her a small smile, turning to face her properly now. He recalled the way that Steve spoke of Tony earlier.

“What has happened while I’ve been away?” he asked. “There is something...different. To use one of your human expressions, there is an elephant in the bathroom.”

Natasha actually laughed at that before running a hand through her hair. “Where to begin?” she mused. “I suppose you should hear it from someone: the Avengers disbanded.”

Thor was gobsmacked. He knew something was wrong, but he certainly hadn’t been expecting _that_. “When?”

“Not long after you left, to be honest. Everything pretty much went to hell once the government got involved.”

She filled him in on the whole situation. He learned more about Steve’s friend, Bucky Barnes, as well as Spider-Man, a young hero that Tony recruited. Things between Tony and Steve had ended ugly, that much was clear, and it left Thor with a sick sensation in his stomach. It was far too easy to fall out of touch with one world when visiting another. No wonder things between him and Jane hadn’t ended well.

“I wish I’d been here,” he lamented once she finished.

“We all have our duties,” she said with a shrug. “You can’t be in two places at once. You can’t have known what was going on here. And hey, it’s better to be a neutral party. Nobody has an issue with you.” She added quietly, “Or Bruce.”

“Then I have that much going for me, at least,” Thor sighed. “And you and Rogers haven’t spoken to Stark since?”

“Not a word,” she said, “but after everything that’s happened, I’m more than prepared to put the past behind us. We can all at least agree that Thanos is enemy number one.”

Thor clenched his fist tightly, baring his teeth at even the mention of Thanos. His anger left as quickly as it came, however, and that hollow ache settled beneath his ribs once more.

After a moment of silence, Natasha bumped him lightly on the shoulder. “Come on,” she said, “even gods need their beauty sleep.”

In response, Thor yawned wildly. “Perhaps they do.”

“I know I do, at least,” she said, spinning on her heel. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you.” Before she walked out, he called after her, “And thank you for your company.”

“It’s what friends do,” she said with a smile, then the doors shut behind her.

He sat in silence for a few minutes, turning Stormbreaker over and over. When he finally left for bed, he realised that he had no idea where he was supposed to be staying. Fortunately, FRIDAY came to him in his hour of need.

The guest room reminded Thor so much of Asgardian architecture it physically pained him to look at it. The king size bed was luxurious with a beautiful wooden frame and patterned bedsheets in rich golds and reds. Matching curtains were drawn across a large window, and the opposite side had an unlit fireplace and a soft white rug in front of it. Twin columns joined the floor to the ceiling and a mural of vikings looked down from above.

There was no way that Tony knew about the destruction of Asgard, but having this room here on Earth, a tiny glimpse of his home before Ragnarök, caused such a strong reaction in him that two tears ran down his cheeks before he knew what was happening. In the past few days, despite all the loss and the pain and the grief, _this_ was what finally made him cry.

Thor almost laughed. It was absurd to cry over something _nice_ when there was so much tragedy around him. He allowed himself to feel the emotion, taking a few deep breaths until he calmed.

After he showered and climbed into bed, the lights dimmed themselves automatically. Thor slipped into an uneasy sleep.

 

\---

 

Come morning, while Thor was moderately well rested, both Bruce and Rocket looked utterly mad from sleep deprivation. There had been success, however, for they wielded a tiny device that would provide an enormous signal boost.

“It isn’t going to help us hone in on Tony’s signature though,” Bruce said, sagging onto a chair. “While it might _allow_ us to find him, we’re essentially trying to pinpoint a single grain of sand on the world’s biggest beach. It’s going to be difficult.”

“But not impossible,” Steve said triumphantly.

“Still...”

“Progress is progress, no matter the odds we’re up against,” Steve said.

Bruce nodded, though his confidence was still questionable.

“I can go to Stark as soon as you locate him,” Thor informed them. “Stormbreaker grants me the power of the Bifröst. I can travel to him in an instant and bring him home.”

And with these latest developments, everyone seemed a little more cheerful.

Later, Thor took his time learning the layout of the building. He spent over an hour locating Bruce and Rocket, who were having an argument about the device they were trying to connect. There were all sorts of lights and buttons flashing angrily. After watching them squabble through the glass walls for a few minutes, he decided to look for entertainment elsewhere.

Natasha had taken a jet to meet with Clint and wouldn’t be back for a few days. Fortunately, Thor managed to find Steve before he left for the city. New York was in complete disarray after everything that happened, so while Bruce and Rocket were still shut up in the labs, Thor accompanied him.

For such an enormous city, it was so _empty_ , quiet save for the odd alarm going off in the distance. Shops lined the streets with a handful of people inside, and many that were empty had shattered windows or doors hanging off hinges. There were children and teenagers who were suddenly orphaned, out on the streets looking for help. Some businesses had opened up their doors as a refuge, so Thor and Steve helped gather as many wayward souls as they could to lead them there.

They spent the next few days doing much of the same. They went to the city in the morning, spent their time removing empty vehicles from backed up streets or locating trucks with supplies and taking them to their intended destinations. It was fulfilling work; enough to keep Thor’s mind occupied. This was clearly Steve’s goal as well, to distract himself from the loss of his friends. Thor didn’t know much about Bucky Barnes or Sam Wilson other than what Natasha had told him, but he knew that Steve must grieve for them both deeply.

Steve carried himself like he always did: a true Captain with a strong set of shoulders and his head held high, but Thor recognised the dark look in his eyes for what it was. Without sufficient distraction, Thor’s eyes were the same.

Most evenings, Thor found himself escaping to the roof. After a full day in the city, Steve would retire to his room early and neither Bruce nor Rocket would join him for dinner. Instead, Thor scooped up a large helping of breads and fruits, whatever he’d been given from the citizens of New York, and went upstairs. The stars kept him company, though they were difficult to see due to the clouds and smog.

On one of these nights, Thor was dozing when he heard someone clamber up onto the roof. Peeking one eye open, Thor discovered it was Bruce, who looked mildly out of breath.

“Here you are,” Bruce said. He sat down beside him, albeit further away from the ledge.

“Here I am,” Thor agreed, not bothering to sit up.

“Not a bad view up here,” Bruce remarked, looking out at the skyline. Despite the significant population downsize, the city was lit up as brightly as ever. “Although, it is _freezing_ up here, Thor.”

Thor shrugged, allowing his eyes to close again. “The cold bothers me less than most.” If Loki were here, he’d be relishing in the cool night air and poking fun at Thor for the goosebumps along his skin.

Bruce said nothing for a while. Eventually, Thor asked, “How goes the search for Stark?”

His initial response was to wince. “Well, that signal boost is definitely giving us the range we need, but it’s a needle in a haystack situation. Tony could be anywhere and space is practically infinite.”

“You’ll find him,” Thor assured. “I doubt Stark is sitting idly by. He is probably figuring out a way to communicate with us as well. Perhaps he’s already found a way back and will be here any minute.”

Bruce chuckled. “That’s very true.”

After another pause, Thor cracked an eye open. “May I ask why you were looking for me?”

“Oh, right.” Bruce shifted so he was angled towards him. “Yeah, so, uh, I’ve kept my mouth shut for the past few days, but…”

“What is it?”

“Well, you know.” Bruce made an awkward gesture with his hands, then let them fall back in his lap. “My memory of Thanos and the Black Order attacking the ship…” Thor felt every muscle in his body grow taut. “I was the Big Guy at the time, so I don’t really remember much, and—”

“Of course.” Thor’s jaw clicked. “You want to know what happened.”

“Well, yeah...”

Thor stared up at the sky, silent. He was struck by the sudden urge to flee; to soar to the stars and never return. There was a heavy weight settling on his ribcage and it became so uncomfortable he had to sit up.

“Sorry,” Bruce said quickly. “You don’t have to—”

“Thanos boarded our ship looking for the Tesseract,” Thor began, staring directly at his feet. “I thought it had been destroyed on Asgard, but Loki—” He swallowed, clenching one hand into a fist. “Loki had taken it when he went to the vault to initiate Ragnarök. My foolish, mischievous brother saw an opportunity and took it. What he intended to use it for, or whether he meant to use it at all, I know not...but Thanos came for it.”

Bruce just shook his head helplessly.

“My people were slaughtered when Thanos came after us — when he came after the Tesseract that should have never been on board the ship in the first place. He gave Loki a choice: hand over the Tesseract, or he would kill me.”

Thor bowed his head, squeezing his eyes closed.

“He chose me.”

He felt Bruce’s hand settle on his shoulder.

“And you came into it then,” Thor said, still not looking at him. “You fought him but you were outmatched by the Power Stone, as we all were. You were saved by Heimdall who opened the Bifröst so you may return to Earth.” Thor met his stare. Despite the painful emotions warring in his chest, he forced himself to smile. “I am glad he did, for you may not be here otherwise.”

Bruce did not smile back. “Thor—”

“And I do not know what happened to you after that,” Thor told him with a wave of his hand. “Perhaps you can fill me in.”

“Thor, what happened to _you_ after that?” Bruce asked, ignoring Thor’s attempt to change the subject. “And what happened to Loki?”

Thor’s smile dropped as he returned his attention to the skyline. He was beginning to feel the cold now.

“Loki tried to trick Thanos, but he did not succeed. So, Thanos snapped my brother’s neck and dumped his body at my feet.” His tone was flat, devoid of emotion. “And with the Space Stone now in his possession, Thanos destroyed the ship. I woke up on the Rabbit’s ship with his Guardian friends.”

The hand on his shoulder gripped him tightly. “I’m—” Bruce stopped, gazing at the side of Thor’s face. Thor could not look at him. “I’m so sorry, Thor. I can’t even begin to—”

“Do you know what the worst part is?” Thor said suddenly, his voice sounding strange even to his own ears.

Bruce said nothing, lips pressed together in a straight line.

“As I lay there with my head pressed to my brother’s chest, I felt—” Thor’s face buckled and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. “I swear I could feel his heartbeat.”

“Thor…”

“It was weak, just barely there, but I felt it. He was still there, still with me, my stubborn brother still clinging on.”

Every word was agony. Thor’s entire body trembled as he wept. Bruce was at a loss, having never seen Thor like this before.

“And now,” Thor murmured, “a part of me wonders that if _I_ survived the blast, maybe he did, too.”

“Thor,” Bruce said, his voice full of pity, “you can’t—”

 _“Don’t!”_ Thor snapped, but the anger fled as quickly as it came. “I know that it is foolish to hope, but he has escaped death’s clutches before, and as impossible as it may be, perhaps he did it again. One final trick,” Thor whispered. “Just one final trick.”

Bruce shifted his hand so that it was pressed reassuringly between both shoulder blades. Thor was grateful, though it did not ease the sorrow in his heart.

“It is all I can hope for now,” Thor murmured, his words thick with grief. “Because if he did not, even if we manage to undo the devastation of the Infinity Gauntlet, it will not change what was done on that ship. I will not get my people back, not Heimdall, and not Loki.”

With an exhale, Bruce’s hand dropped back to his lap. “Thor, I’ve spent a lot of my life as a pessimist, and that’s been my shield. I know you lean towards the side of optimism, but in this instance—” Thor knew what he was going to say and he did not interrupt, even as more tears spilled down his cheeks. “—I would encourage you to be a cynic, just this one time. Not because I think you’re wrong—”

“You do,” Thor said.

“No, I—”

“It’s okay,” Thor sighed. “The odds are not in my favour, I know.”

Bruce rubbed a hand through his hair. “Sorry, I’m making this worse, aren’t I?”

“It’s all right,” Thor said, meeting his gaze now despite his tear-streaked face. “Go on.”

“Okay...” Bruce said with uncertainty. “All I’m trying to say is that if _this_ is what you’re holding onto, that you’re praying to—to whatever deity a god prays to that Loki survived...it’ll only hurt you more if it turns out not to be true.”

After a long pause, Thor nodded. He took in a deep gulp of air and released it slowly. He was so, _so_ tired. He would have to retire to bed soon.

Bruce wrapped his arms around his knees. “I wish I knew what else to say. I’m sorry, Thor.”

“Thank you,” Thor said simply, then looked to the sky.

Out there, in the deep reaches of space, was an unspeakable tragedy. And yet, despite Bruce’s warning, there was but one thought circling Thor’s mind:

What if?


	2. Chapter 2

Finally, after a couple more days, there was a triumphant shout.

They heard scampering along the tiled floor before Rocket flung himself around the corner breathlessly. Both Thor and Steve were in the kitchen, a cup of coffee halfway to Steve’s lips.

Rocket glanced back and forth between them. “Well, come on, quit gawking! We’ve had a breakthrough!”

They dutifully followed him to the lab, half-jogging to keep up. When they entered, they found Bruce hunched over one of the dozens of monitors in the room. There, on the small screen in front of him, was a fuzzy image of Tony Stark.

As he and Steve approached, Thor could see the injuries to Tony’s face, an assortment of cuts and bruises that were barely starting to heal. His cheeks were sunken and his eyes were red and tired, but he looked relieved to see them.

“Sweet merciful Lord, thank you, _thank you_ , the thunder god is still here.”

Thor beamed. “It is good to see you, Stark.”

“Yeah, right back at you. Nice hair.” He blinked, taken aback. “Nice...eye?”

Thor chuckled, rubbing at the eye in question. He was so used to it now he almost forgot how strange he must look.

A peculiar expression settled on Tony’s face as he peered over Thor’s shoulder. Thor glanced back in Steve’s direction, whose face revealed nothing and everything all at once. Steve seemed to struggle for a moment and then simply said, “Stark.”

“Cap.” Tony nodded, his expression stoic, and then one corner of his lips tugged up into a smile. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has.” Steve didn’t smile back, but his body relaxed a little. “It’s good to see you, Tony. Really.”

“Yeah, this isn’t exactly how I imagined this little reunion would pan out,” Tony said, running a hand through his hair distractedly. “But hey, it’s pretty much the end of the world, so this is how it’s gonna be. I’m happy to see you, Cap. I’m happy to see all of you,” he added, eyes darting around the room. “Hell, I’m happy to see the Winnie the Pooh character, too.”

“What the hell are you calling me?” Rocket demanded, jumping up on the desk.

“I have not heard of this Winnie,” Thor said with a frown.

“It’s not an insult, I promise,” Tony said with a wave of his hand. “Listen, I’m sort of in dire need of a rescue mission here. My suit’s totally busted thanks to our dear friend Thanos _and_ the ship I arrived in is out of commission because it sort of crash landed onto this planet, _plus_ the only functional ship here needs an access code or fingerprint or who knows what.”

“Where are you?” Thor asked. “I can come right to you.”

“See, this is why we keep you around,” Tony said with a broad grin. “I am, as it just so happens, on Titan.”

Bruce exhaled, leaning back in his chair. “Thanos’s home.”

“Yeah, it’s less of a planet and more of a wasteland,” Tony said, picking up a chunk of dry stone and crumbling it with little effort in front of the camera. “Seriously, I haven’t found a single water source out here. I’ve been living off crackers and bottled water I found in the ship.”

“Who else is with you?” Steve asked. “Or are you alone?”

There was a heavy pause at that. The wrinkles in his forehead became all the more pronounced and he chewed his bottom lip before finally answering. “There were others, but, uh, now it’s just me. Well, not _just_ me, there’s someone else here too—”

“Who?”

“She’s, uh, well, her name is Nebula. Thanos’s daughter.” At the look on everyone’s faces, Tony quickly assured, “No, no, she hates his guts. She tried her hardest to kill him. Seriously, she’s cool.”

“Nebula’s there?” Everyone’s heads swivelled to Rocket, who was slowly stepping closer to the monitor. “Blue, purple, kinda robotic-looking?”

“That’s her.”

Rocket’s eyes were wide. Subconsciously, he touched the spot on his chest where Groot’s branch was concealed. “You said there were others. Who?”

Realisation dawned on Thor then and his stomach tightened.

Tony sighed, his head falling forward. After a moment, he lifted himself up again and asked, “You wouldn’t happen to be a Guardian of the Galaxy, would you?”

“Don’t tell me that—” Rocket breathed, both hands clutching at his chest now. “No, no, no—”

“I’m sorry,” Tony began. “I’m sorry, there were—all of them, they just—”

 _“All_ of them? They _all_ —”

Rocket crumpled, murmuring _no_ over and over again. Thor reached out, his hand encompassing the entirety of Rocket’s furry shoulder. Rocket accepted the touch for the moment, but eventually he slipped off the desk and walked silently out the door. Tony shook his head helplessly.

“Um, Tony…” Bruce hesitated. “Spider-Man was with you too, right?”

“Ah, Christ.” Tony scrubbed his hands over his face. There was pure, raw anguish on Tony’s face now. “Yes, Bruce, and _no_ , he didn’t make it either.”

“I’m sorry, Tony.”

“Being sorry won’t—” Tony snapped but cut himself off. “Sorry. Thanks, Bruce. It’s just been tough out here.”

“I can’t imagine,” Steve said, his expression softer now.

Tony shook his head again, rubbing his face harshly. When he looked up at them all, his eyes were damp. “Anyway. Rescue mission, yeah?”

“Yes.” Thor nodded. “Rescue mission.”

 

\---

 

There was not much he needed to prepare for the journey to Titan. Stormbreaker was almost always fixed to his back these days, and so after he devoured a decent helping of breakfast, he made his way outside.

Steve and Bruce followed him but kept their distance, unsure how much space the Bifröst required.

“So this new weapon of yours will just sort of...” Steve trailed off, seeming to realise he had no idea how any of this was supposed to work.

“Open a gateway to intergalactic travel?” Bruce supplied.

“That is the core of it, yes,” Thor said, plucking Stormbreaker off his back. He admired the weapon for the moment, feeling its power emanate along the palm of his hand. “My father wielded a similar weapon. With this power, Stormbreaker will open up an entrance to the Bifröst Bridge, a type of invisible network that connects all of the planets within the Nine Realms.”

“And you know how to get to Titan through this network?” Steve asked.

“I know not, but Stormbreaker will guide me.” Thor smiled, tightening his grip along the handle. “The travel is almost instantaneous, so I imagine Tony and I will return very soon.”

“Hold up.”

The three of them turned to see Rocket standing in the entrance. He had gotten changed, dressed in his combat clothing with a pistol on each hip.

“I’m coming, too,” he declared, walking past both Steve and Tony to stand just a few feet from Thor.

“The trip will be quite quick, Rabbit,” Thor told him.

“That Stark guy said that there’s a ship on that planet that’s in working order,” Rocket said. “I got a sneaking suspicion that’s _my_ ship. Like hell I’m leaving that thing on Thanos’s home planet.” His eyes were like fire, burning with barely contained rage. “I’m bringing her here.”

Thor understood. “Very well. We shall go together.”

“Hell yeah.”

“See you both soon,” Steve said. “And if something happens, let us know.”

“Tony should be able to call in now that we’ve got each other’s signals,” Bruce said. “Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Hopefully won’t be necessary,” Thor said with a grin.

“Adios.” Rocket offered a thumbs up, and then Thor thrust Stormbreaker into the air and sent them flying.

 

\---

 

A handful of minutes passed in the shimmering, colourful Bifröst Bridge before they landed on the other side. Titan was as Tony described: barren, devoid of all life. Thor and Rocket were surrounded by mountainous sand dunes and ancient, dilapidated buildings. The sunlight was filtered through a thick layer of dust in the air, illuminating the land in a blood orange hue.

Tony was nowhere to be seen, so Thor hefted Rocket up with his left arm (ignoring his protests) and swung Stormbreaker skyward. They rose up high enough to get the vantage point they needed because, close by, were a series of fresh craters and a very large, very broken spaceship.

“Bingo,” Rocket said.

They sailed in that direction, the dusty wind whipping at their faces. Thor recognised Tony’s form, his arms spread wide in welcome.

“Well hey there, Mary Poppins,” he said once Thor and Rocket touched down.

The small monitor back at Avengers HQ did not do Tony’s injuries justice. He was a complete and utter mess, his iron suit barely clinging onto his form. His left shoulder was exposed and caked in dry blood, and his helmet only covered one side of his head.

Tony noticed Thor staring and said, “Yeah, I’ve tried to get this thing off but the nanotech is malfunctioning pretty bad. It keeps trying to repair itself, and when I try to pry it off, it freaks out and clings on harder.”

“Perhaps Banner can help,” Thor suggested.

“Yeah, although Shuri is probably our best bet.” Tony noticed Rocket then, who had been standing quietly beside Thor. “Ah, the guy whose soul I crushed during our first meeting.”

“I’d argue I never had a soul to begin with,” Rocket retorted. He approached Tony, one tiny hand outstretched. “I’m Rocket.”

“Tony Stark.” They shook hands, Tony’s hand encompassing most of Rocket’s forearm. “So what are you, some kind of space raccoon?”

“Did you just call me a raccoon?” Rocket said indignantly. “Yeesh, you sound just like Quill…”

“Stark, this is hardly the time for jokes. He is _clearly_ a rabbit,” Thor said, folding his arms over his chest.

Tony squinted in confusion. “A space rabbit?”

Rocket rolled his eyes and then turned to face the scene before them. He approached the edge of one of the craters and stopped, eyes narrowed intently. “So, my spaceship has gotta be around here somewhere, right?”

The three of them set off, Tony leading the way. They traipsed acrossthe desert landscape, the sun searing the back of their necks. Thor found himself sweating as they walked, the sand beneath their feet slowing them down. Wherever they looked there were ruins of Thanos’s old city, an endless amount of buildings that had been reduced to crumbling husks. Thor was grateful that Earth had not been eradicated like Titan, though it was a grim blessing.

Thor recognised the Guardians’ ship when they reached the peak of the dune. It was in near perfect condition, aside from some scratches and the thick layer of dust that had settled on every inch of the exterior. Rocket approached the entrance and pressed a hand onto the side of the ship, leaving a tiny handprint. He then proceeded to write the phrase _WASH ME_ in the dust, smirked to himself, then stepped inside.

Thor allowed Rocket his privacy, knowing that this vessel was a home of sorts for him and his friends. Entering the now empty ship would serve as a painful reminder of what he’d lost.

Tony sagged onto a large rock, his head lolling back. He released a groan, eyes slipping shut.

“You must be exhausted,” Thor said, looking at him with concern.

Tony’s eyes remained closed as he responded, “You have no idea.”

Thor made to sit beside him but suddenly felt the keen sense that someone was watching him. He placed a hand on Stormbreaker, glancing around, until his gaze fell on a feminine figure. She was looking down at them both from a higher sand dune, a good hundred feet up. He recognised that she was humanoid in shape but her skin was a mix of blues and purples, gleaming like metal. He recalled Rocket’s brief description of Nebula.

“Oh yeah, don’t mind her,” Tony said with a yawn, leaning forward and rubbing his eyes. “She doesn’t talk much. Understandable, really, considering her dear old dad destroyed half the universe, but she fought him as hard as the rest of us.” Tony looked up at her now, his eyes soft and sad. “And I think she lost a lot, like the rest of us.”

From inside the ship, he heard Rocket muttering curses to himself, and since he had not found a way to start the vessel yet, Thor began the trek up to Nebula. Her knees were folded close against her chest, arms locking them in place. She watched Thor approach with curiosity and caution in equal measure.

Thor greeted her with a single wave. “Lady Nebula?”

“Just Nebula.” She tilted her head to one side, her chin resting on her knee. “And you are?”

“Thor, a friend of Tony Stark. I knew the Guardians of the Galaxy, too.”

Her arms tightened around her. Her gaze fell away. “Is that right?”

“I met them briefly, but they rescued me. I owe them for that. Are you a Guardian, too?”

She shook her head, the corner of her mouth twitching. “Not exactly. My sister was one.”

Thor racked his brain and settled on a name. “Gamora.”

“Yes,” Nebula whispered, her eyes filled with sorrow. “Gamora.”

Thor’s jaw clenched and he looked away. Thanos’s actions had caused such a wide ripple across the universe, leaving broken hearts where people once stood. How in the Nine Realms were they supposed to fix this? The kind of strength it took to push on, to keep fighting against such a mighty force when it was so difficult to even _comfort_ another being who was overflowing with grief…

“Who did you lose?” Nebula asked, looking up at him now. “I can see your pain. You carry it on your sleeve, unlike Stark.” She nods in his direction. “He has barely shed a tear. A boy died in his arms not even a week ago, and yet…”

Tony was still sitting on the rock, leaning an elbow on one knee. The weight of these past few days was heavy on his shoulders, Thor could tell, but it was a subtle thing. Tony always did mask his emotions well.

Nebula was watching him expectantly and eventually he released an exhale. “I lost...everything. My planet, my people, my friends, my family…” He smiled through his heartache. “I lost a sibling, too.”

They shared a look, mirrored pain on their faces. “I am sorry for my father’s actions,” she said, her expression turning hard. “He will know the true meaning of agony when I see him again.”

Thor sat down, leaving a comfortable space between them. He crossed his legs and leaned back on his hands, the sand rough yet cool beneath his palms. The pair of them stared out at the horizon, their thoughts elsewhere.

A small chuckle came from Nebula’s lips. “I spent so much time hating my sister. It was exactly what my father wanted: pit us against each other so that we may grow stronger, constantly yearning for our father’s affection. I fought my sister with everything I had but she was always better, always the favourite. Whatever I did, it was never enough. _I_ was never enough.”

Thor’s hands clenched fistfuls of sand, the grit scraping his skin. All of her pain, all of her bitterness, sounded exactly like Loki.

“I never truly hated her, though. If anything, her death has made me realise far, _far_ too late that I loved her more than anything, more than myself and more than my father. I resented her, but I only wanted to prove to my father that I was just as capable as her.”

“You only wanted to be her equal,” Thor murmured, his thoughts drifting to more painful memories.

Nebula nodded, hunching in on herself further still. “If only I’d opened my eyes sooner, then maybe things would be different.”

Thor smiled bitterly. “I have spent much of my time these past few years thinking the same.”

The loud whirl of an engine interrupted them, the spaceship below lighting up, propellers rotating with increasing speed. With a groan from the metal exterior, the vessel slowly pulled out of where it had been semi-embedded in the sand. Once it gained equilibrium, it settled to a controlled hover a few inches off the ground.

“Hey Point Break, let’s get out of here!” Tony called, already with a foot inside.

Thor got to his feet, then turned back when he realised Nebula hadn’t moved. “Are you coming?”

“No.”

Thor’s frown deepened. “There is nothing on this planet. No food, no—”

“I require minimal sustenance,” she told him, “and I won’t stay here for much longer.”

“Where will you go?”

She offered him a smile that did not quite reach her eyes. “To Vormir, the place where my sister was killed.”

Thor felt enormous pity for her, but he dispelled the emotion. He loathed it when people offered him pity, so he tried not to direct it at others.

“What do you hope to find there?”

She shrugged. “Maybe a way to save her. Maybe nothing at all. Either way, I need to go.” Her voice was softer as she said, “If there’s any chance I can bring her back…”

Thor watched her silently for a moment, then nodded. “I understand. I wish you well. May fate be on your side.”

To his retreating back, she said, “And yours as well.”

 

\---

 

A male voice crooned softly through the ship’s speakers. Rocket was mumbling the lyrics under his breath with his feet kicked up on the control panel, the ship mostly driving itself to their destination. The music, Thor had learned, came from Quill, who particularly fancied the songs of Earth, despite spending most of his life in outer space.

Thor also learned that the vessel’s name was the Benatar. It came into the Guardians’ possession thanks to an underhanded game of poker that took place at a skeevy bar in some corner of the universe. Whenever Rocket offered some of these humorous anecdotes of the Guardians’ adventures, Thor found it extremely compelling. In another lifetime, perhaps he could have spent some time travelling with them.

Thor sat a little behind Rocket with his hands folded in his lap. Further back was Tony, who had passed out an hour into their trip and was filling the cabin with his quiet snoring. His head was angled back at a painful degree that would undoubtedly ache by the time they reached Earth.

They were cruising at high speeds, the stars forming long streaks of light beyond the glass windows. The Bifröst was significantly faster, but at this speed, Thor could take in the beauty of passing galaxies, the splashes of colour that broke up the black void. The longer he spent sitting there, however, the longer he spent with his thoughts. Nebula’s parting words had stirred something that he had been trying not think about. There were those series of _what ifs_ that continued to plague him; the thoughts he’d put to Bruce so very recently. Questions of the Statesman, of his people.

 _If there’s any chance I can bring her back_ …

Thor struggled for a few minutes, trying to speak and then forcing his jaw closed. He scratched at the armrest, picking at a loose thread, trying anything to distract himself.

Eventually, however, he gave in. “Rocket?”

Rocket’s head snapped to him, eyes wide with disbelief. “Did you just say _Rocket?”_

“That's your name, is it not?”

“Well yeah, but normally you—” He stared at Thor, then sighed. “Nevermind. What’s up?”

Thor focused on his hands as he spoke, his thumbs rubbing circles around each other. “That day you found me drifting in space...where did you find me?”

“Uh, you mean, like, _coordinates?_ I don’t keep that kind of detail in my brain. Otherwise I wouldn’t have room for all the info about explosives.”

“Right, well, what about your computer?” He gestured to the control panel. “Might there be some kind of record?”

“Hm. Yeah, probably.”

Rocket turned back and began to type, his small hands moving at lightning speed across the interface. Thor unbuckled from his seat quietly so he would not disturb Tony, then walked closer to peer over Rocket’s shoulder. He was touching the screen directly with his fingers now, flicking his finger up to scroll through a variety of planet names and numbers. When he settled on the correct one, he pressed it firmly and a three dimensional map popped up on the screen.

“So we were about...here,” he said, poking at the hologram. A yellow dot illuminated in the same spot. “Maaaybe give or a take a few light-years.”

“Then the remnants of my ship mustn’t be far from there.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Rocket glanced at him with a frown, then returned his attention to the map. “You came from this direction.” He drew a small arrow, starting from the left and pointing to the Benatar’s location. “And we received your distress signal somewhere in this area.” He drew a circle around it.

Thor’s hands clenched and unclenched. A mix of emotions were flooding through him: trepidation, sorrow, _excitement_.

“Thor…” Rocket was watching him carefully. “What’s going through that head of yours?”

“How long would it take to get there?” Thor asked. “And would it delay us significantly?”

“Tell me what you’re planning,” Rocket said, his gaze firm. “I’m not saying we can’t go, but I need to know what you wanna do.”

“I need to see the wreckage,” he told him, his voice low but urgent. “I...I know how it sounds, but—”

“What are you looking for? It ain’t gonna be pretty.”

“Survivors.”

Rocket sighed, shoulders sinking. “Thor, I know this is hard to hear, but there’s a _reason_ you survived, and it’s _probably_ because you’re a god. I hate to say it, but—”

“I was not the only god on that ship.”

Rocket blinked, his mouth closing. He paused, then said grimly, “This is about that brother of yours, right?”

Thor swallowed audibly. There was an ache in his chest and a desperation clawing at him now. “Please, Rocket. I need to know.”

“Thor, I saw it myself and it’s _horrific_ ,” Rocket said. “You said there were thousands of people on that ship. You’re gonna see bodies burned, disfigured, in _pieces_. Is that how you wanna remember them, Thor? Remember _him?”_ Rocket’s face was open with distress. “There’s no going back if you see this.”

“I know.” Thor inhaled deeply, blinking back moisture. “But I need to see it. I...” He trailed off, gazing at Rocket pleadingly. He knew how it sounded. He knew why Rocket hesitated. “He’s the only family I have,” he said. “It will drive me mad if I don’t see for myself.”

Reluctantly, Rocket nodded. He faced forward again. “All right.”

He poked at the hologram in the centre of the circle he’d drawn, leaving a pulsing red dot. He then dismissed the hologram with a flick of his wrist and typed a few more commands into the control panel. Almost imperceptibly, the Benatar angled in a different direction, course corrected. The shift didn’t stir Tony at all.

Thor did not return to his seat. He stood beside Rocket, arms folded, watching the tiny Benatar on the screen’s minimap tick closer and closer to their new destination.

 

\--- 

 

After a couple of hours, they started to see remnants of the Statesman. There was a sickening sensation in Thor’s gut, his throat flexing like he might vomit. His palms grew sweaty and he found himself wiping them on his clothes repeatedly. Rocket’s mouth was set in a hard line. He had taken over the steering from the autopilot, avoiding the rubble with relative ease.

When they came across the first series of bodies, Thor was starting to severely regret his decision to come here. Rocket glanced back at him, his foot hovering on the brake. Thor shook his head and encouraged him to continue. They moved slowly, so much so that it was as if the engine had shut off completely, but onward they went.

Eventually they found what must have been the centre of the explosion, judging by the way the wreckage clustered in the area. Rocket eased on the brake once they were close enough, careful not to damage the ship. The site was as Rocket described: _horrific_. From the people he could see, their bodies were charred so severely they were unrecognisable.

They hovered in place for several minutes, assessing the scene around them. From this distance, he’d never be able to identify the bodies. Thor stepped away and headed to the back of the ship.

“Hey, where you going?” Rocket called out.

As Thor strode past, Tony made a snorting sound, finally waking. “Huh? We’re here?”

Thor ignored them both, stepping into the exit chamber and sealing the doors behind him. Rocket came rushing up while Thor waited for the secondary door to open.

“Thor! Shouldn’t you at least wear a spacesuit or something?”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Tony asked, trying to turn around, but he was still pinned in place by his seatbelt.

Rocket started banging his fists on the door.

“Why would I need a spacesuit?” Thor asked with a wry smile. “You found me unconscious, floating through space for who knows how long, and I _survived_. I did not wear a spacesuit when we forged Stormbreaker! Do you not remember?”

Rocket continued to look indignant.

Thor sighed. “Fine, I’ll take a deep breath.”

“Son of a—”

Then Thor was outside the ship, the exit sealing behind him.

To travel through space like this was strange. His body was floating and compressing simultaneously. It was freezing cold, his nose immediately turning icy. His heart was strong, however, pumping blood to his extremities without concern for this new environment. He propelled himself forward like he was swimming, bringing his arms back and kicking in rhythm. He swam past the Benatar, ignoring the sight of Rocket yelling at him through the cockpit window.

On and on he pushed himself, finally coming up to a series of bodies. He did not get near enough to touch them, but from this proximity he could see they were neither Loki nor Heimdall, though their faces were horribly disfigured. Many of the bodies were partially frozen too, masking the extent of their burns. He pressed on, ignoring the way his stomach knotted.

Thor wasn’t sure how long he drifted out there, but as time went on, his heart began to pulse louder and louder in his ears. The hope that had been pinging in the back of his mind incessantly was growing quieter now, replaced by a sensation of grief and nausea. The severity of the situation was finally settling in, and for a moment he hovered in place, struck dumb by how foolish he was to have ever come back here.

His chest was tight, whether due to his own anguish or the pressure from space, he wasn't sure. He swallowed down a lump in his throat. Here he was, in the centre of the Statesman, surrounded by a sea of dead Asgardians.

Was he satisfied now?

Thor made to turn back to the ship, to accept this crushing disappointment and let grief swallow him whole, but he caught something in his periphery. Not a body, but something else entirely.

He drifted closer, his eyes shifting in all directions. He had seen something, _that_ he was certain, but what? It could very easily be his mind playing tricks on him, but he was so sure…

There was a gentle glow coming from behind a large chunk of rubble. He approached it slowly, cautiously, bringing himself around the other side to find what appeared to be a small orb made completely of light. The light was dim, a blue-white hue that reflected against Thor’s skin. A tiny star, lost and alone, huddled here among the debris and the dead.

It was mesmerising. When he was within arm’s reach, he reached out to touch it, but it shrunk back against the rubble, its glow fading somewhat. Carefully, he approached even slower, his hands creating a wider gap around it. It did not shrink away from him this time. Thor cupped his hands beneath it and lifted. It was warm, easing the stiffness of his fingers. It drifted upward, following his hands until it was a few inches from his face.

Thor cocked his head to one side, frowning at it.

“Where did you come from, little star?”

Suddenly it responded, seeming to react to his voice. The glow brightened, enough that he had to squint and turn away. The star vibrated in his hands, as if trying to draw Thor’s attention back again. It drifted off his palms and came closer, hovering in front of his chest. Thor’s hands followed after it, attempting to support it like it would fall into the deep reaches of space without him.

For a moment, the star did nothing else, just floated in place. Then it drifted closer and passed through him, slipping beneath his ribcage.

Thor stared at the spot the light had disappeared, his skin tinged a bright blue until the light faded. He could _feel_ something: something warm, fluttering like a bird in his chest. It wasn’t painful exactly, but it was strange and uncomfortable.

He stayed where he was for several minutes until the fluttering sensation stopped. He ran his hands over his torso and found nothing out of the ordinary. He flexed his fingers, rotated his shoulders. Everything was completely normal.

The only difference was that he felt lighter somehow, like something had slotted back into place, his chest made whole again.


	3. Chapter 3

The Benatar touched down outside Avengers HQ a couple of hours before sundown. The sky was clear for once, streaked with shades of pinks and purples. Thor wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he and Rocket had left. The Bifröst always managed to subvert the passage of time; he wasn’t accustomed to more traditional forms of space travel.

The first thing he noticed when he stepped outside was that Natasha was among the Avengers now, Steve and Bruce standing on either side. Clint was nowhere to be seen. He heard Tony grunt and stumble his way out of the ship, his body stiff from sleeping in a chair for so long, not to mention the broken suit still clinging to him. The two of them stood together, facing the other Avengers.

“You made it,” Natasha said, her lips quirked up.

“You look like crap,” Bruce stated.

Tony nodded to Bruce. “Thank you, yes, I look like death warmed up. I could not be happier to be back, trust me.”

He and Steve locked eyes briefly. Steve moved to speak, but was interrupted by Rocket.

“You will not _believe_ what happened!” he exclaimed, racing past Thor and Tony.

Thor went rigid. He knew exactly what Rocket was about to say.

“You guys…” he paused for effect, “Thor got impregnated by a star.”

Silence, then —

“ _What?”_

“I’m sorry?”

“How does biology _work_ on Asgard?”

Thor clapped a hand to his face. “Rocket, please.” He spun around to Tony. “Tony, _please_.”

“I can confirm that is one hundred percent accurate,” Tony said, blatantly ignoring Thor. “Thor took a dive into outer space and, well, now he’s glowing.”

“That is _not_ what happened!” Thor exclaimed. He looked to the sky, wondering whether to strike them down with a bolt of lightning, but ultimately decided against it.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to need a _lot_ of context,” Steve said, eyes shifting back and forth between the three of them. “What happened exactly?”

“I—I found a glowing light, of sorts.” Thor narrowed his eyes at Rocket when he tried to interrupt. “And it entered my body.”

“Oh my g—”

“ _Let me finish,”_ Thor said, raising one hand to silence them. “It was floating in front of me. I was just looking at it, for it was quite beautiful, but then it seemed to take a liking to me and entered my chest — my _chest_ — and then the glowing stopped.” He gestured up and down his body. “I feel perfectly fine.”

“Nothing bad ever happens when a glowing alien baby enters your body,” Tony said with a quirked brow. “What could possibly go wrong?”

“I get the impression you are being sarcastic,” Thor said with a glare.

“Thor, I have never, in my life, used sarcasm to get a point across.”

Thor growled, turning back to the Avengers. “It was a strange incident, yes, but surely the most important thing is the fact that we retrieved Tony Stark! The Avengers are assembled once again!” He beamed at them all, his arms spread wide in triumph. “Well, minus Barton.”

Steve, Natasha and Bruce all looked at one another.

“I mean, yeah,” Bruce said hesitantly, “but you _absorbed a star_.”

“I did practically the same thing to forge Stormbreaker!” Thor cried in frustration. He retrieved the axe from his back, brandishing it before them.

“True. I saw it.” Rocket scratched his chin in thought. “So...do you get impregnated by stars once a week, or—”

“One more word about the star,” Thor said, pointing Stormbreaker at each and every one of them, “and I summon a typhoon.”

There was a long pause, and then the strangest thing happened: they started laughing. None of them had experienced anything _close_ to a proper laugh in far too long. While Thor resisted at first, he eventually joined in as well. He laughed with them until his stomach hurt, until his eyes were wet. His cheeks ached but his heart pulsed with joy.

Their spirits were that little bit higher when they headed inside. It didn’t take long for them to pick on Tony next, who was hobbling awkwardly up the stairs. His knees refused to bend, so Natasha offered to get him some WD-40. Thor showed mercy and heaved him through the front door.

 

\---

 

They all came together early the next morning. While he and Rocket were gone, someone had restocked the fridge, so they were able to share in a truly mighty meal. Thor, who had awoken with a little more energy than yesterday, was devouring a plate of toast piled fifteen slices high and had no intention of slowing down any time soon. Steve and Bruce watched him mildly horrified while Natasha looked impressed more than anything else.

Tony was the last to arrive. He was finally free of his iron suit but he favoured his left leg, limping carefully towards the table and dropping into a seat. He eyed Thor’s toast, then announced, “I’ll have what he’s having.” FRIDAY was quick to respond, her robotic arms extending from the ceiling and getting to work.

“Somehow you look worse than you did yesterday,” Bruce said around a mouthful of oatmeal.

Tony gave him an unimpressed look. “I’d forgotten how charming you can be.” He rolled his shoulders, wincing. “Yeah, I was up past midnight trying to get that damn suit off. Thankfully time zones are a thing, because Shuri was around to help me out, though she spent half the time making fun of me. No respect for her elders! None!” Tony huffed. “And then once that nanotech monstrosity was defeated, it turns out that the suit had been compressing on every single muscle in my body for the past week, so pretty much every movement I make now is pure agony.”

“What toppings would you like, sir?” FRIDAY asked.

“Peanut butter and jelly, please.”

Steve cleared his throat and said, “An ice bath might help.”

“Yeah, my body is at least 95% on fire today, so that’s definitely on the cards.”

“Your toast, Mr. Stark.”

“Hallelujah.”

“Your manners, Mr. Stark.”

“ _Thank you_ , FRIDAY.” He took one large bite before he spoke again. “So, I need a headcount. Who still exists? Where’s Hawkeye?”

“He and his family are staying with his sister-in-law in New York,” Natasha said. “He doesn’t want to bring the kids here, and after everything that’s happened…” She sighed, her expression troubled. “He doesn’t want to leave the kids alone just yet either, not after losing their mom. Give him some time. He’ll be here.”

“Damn.” Tony shook his head.

No one spoke for a moment, so Thor told him grimly, “Virtually everyone who is left is here at this table.”

“Wakanda is down half an army,” Steve said, “and they’ve lost their Black Panther.”

“ _Seriously?”_ Tony leaned both elbows on the counter, planting his face in his hands. “What about Wanda?”

“Gone.”

“Perfect,” Tony muttered. “Our time lord is gone too, not to mention Pete—Spider-Man. And what about Rhodey? Don’t tell me he’s gone, too.”

“He’s still alive, but he stayed in Wakanda to help out.”

“Finally, some good news. And what about Ant-Man?”

“Don’t know,” Natasha answered.

“Nick Fury?”

“Don’t know.”

“Nobody checked if _Nick Fury_ is alive?”

“We’ve been a little preoccupied,” Steve said quietly.

“With _what?”_ Tony exclaimed.

“Well, finding you, for one,” Bruce said.

“And secondly, we’ve all been...processing,” Steve said, whose expression slipped into one of melancholy. “Processing everything that’s happened.”

Tony sighed and closed his eyes, massaging his forehead. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

Natasha hesitated, then asked gently, “Tony, any word on Pepper?”

“None,” Tony said, his voice suddenly flat. “Not a thing.”

“I have been scanning multiple security cameras, mobile phone calls and news outlets,” FRIDAY chimed in. “She and Happy have not been located as of yet.”

“I’ve been going into the city most days,” Steve said, looking at Tony, whose hands were blocking his face from view. “I haven’t seen her so far, but I’ll keep an eye out.”

Tony took in a deep breath and exhaled before meeting his gaze. “I’d appreciate that, Rogers.”

Steve nodded, his lips pressed together.

Nobody spoke for a few minutes. Tony chewed at his toast half-heartedly, the bread turning cold. He deposited half his stack onto Thor’s plate.

Eventually Steve said, “I’ve been thinking.”

“Sounds dangerous,” Natasha said with a small smirk.

Steve smiled good-naturedly and continued, “What Earth needs right now is the Avengers.”

“Right,” Tony said slowly.

“We need to let the world know that we’re still here, still fighting. Think about it: nobody really knows what happened aside from those that were directly involved in the battle. Your average citizen of Earth is completely in the dark. I’ve heard what people have been saying in the city: this is the end of days, the apocalypse.”

“They’re not wrong,” Bruce said darkly.

“They have the right to know what’s happening,” Steve said firmly. “They need to know that there is an enemy, that his name is Thanos, and that we will defeat him.”

Rocket, who was lounging on an armchair nearby, retorted, “But he can’t be defeated.”

“He can be, though the odds are against us,” Steve replied instantly.

An argument was on the tip of everyone’s tongues. Steve’s jaw was clenched tightly, the muscle jumping in his cheek, daring anyone to challenge him. Tony assessed him through narrowed eyes, a haunted expression marring his face. Rocket was eying them in disbelief, like he couldn’t fathom how any of them were even _thinking_ about realistically taking down Thanos.

Thor wasn’t in the mood for such a pointless, depressing argument. The team had only just gotten back together; it was too early for them to push each other away. He needed them to focus on the present.

“I have a thought,” Thor said, and they all turned in unison. “Why not hold a day of mourning? It is what we did on Asgard: when battle was waged and lives were lost, no matter how small the number, the kingdom would host a day of mourning to honour those who fell.” He gazed at them all and said pointedly, “If _we_ , the Avengers, are to be the beacon of hope for this world once more, empathy is sometimes more important than strength.”

Everyone was quiet, then Rocket said softly, “I like that.”

“Yes,” Steve said with a nod. “Yes, I think the world needs that right now.”

“Absolutely.” Tony offered Thor a smile, the first one any of them had seen all morning. “So, we’re all in agreement then?”

When everyone nodded, Tony whistled.

“Damn, who knew we’d ever agree on anything ever again? Brings a tear to my eye. Hey FRIDAY, let’s organise a press conference for tomorrow, shall we?”

“Manners, Mr. Stark.”

“Please?”

“Of course, Mr. Stark.”

 

\---

 

Later that day, to Thor’s delight, he stumbled across a training simulation room. At first he thought it was just a giant, empty basement, but once he took a few steps inside, FRIDAY emerged and prompted him with choices of training exercises. He picked the one that would allow him to smash as many things as possible.

And that was how he spent most of the afternoon: running rampant in the training room, hurling Stormbreaker at every enemy the AI threw at him. While underground, his lightning could not reach here, but it didn’t matter for Thor was happy enough to be exercising. Endorphins flooded his body, his muscles ached pleasantly, and a layer of sweat formed across his skin. After a particularly satisfying blow, Thor laughed aloud, his chest light and free.

The simulation suddenly stopped, however, and when Thor turned toward FRIDAY in confusion, he discovered Bruce frowning at him from the entryway.

“Bruce!” Thor greeted, his breath coming out in puffs. “Isn’t this room incredible? Did you know this was down here?”

“Uh, yes, but I didn’t expect to find you here,” Bruce said, eying Thor strangely. “Only reason I knew was because FRIDAY told me.”

“Ah, I see.” Thor frowned then. “You did not expect to find me here? I love to fight, Bruce. You know that.”

“Well yeah, but lately you haven’t been exactly, uh…” He trailed off awkwardly.

Thor approached him, swinging Stormbreaker onto his back. “Speak your mind, Bruce. What is it?”

Bruce clasped his hands behind his back, puzzling something to himself and then said, “I’m...worried.”

“Worried?”

“You’ve got... _drive_ again,” Bruce said, gesturing vaguely at him. “You’re all fired up. I haven’t seen you like this since…” He trailed off again.

“Ah.” Thor nodded. “Since Thanos destroyed the ship.”

“Well, yeah…”

Thor considered this. “I am relieved to have the team assembled again. The way we laughed and talked, it reminds me of happier times, of discussing strategy and preparing for victory.” He shrugged. “I am...hopeful, I suppose you could say. That is enough to make me lighter on my feet.” He cocked his head to the side then, suddenly grinning. “Shouldn’t you be _relieved_ that I am fired up again, Bruce? Would you rather I wallow?”

“Thor, Tony told me where you guys went on the way back to Earth.”

“Did he?” Thor said. His grin persisted but he avoided eye contact now.

“I mean, after seeing _that_ , how can you be so…?” He gestured at him again, brow pinched with concern.

“Perhaps it is the closure,” Thor suggested. “Closure brings an end to a painful chapter. I can only move forward now.”

“I’m sorry, Thor, but I just don’t buy what you’re selling.”

Thor started to pace, still avoiding Bruce’s stare, until finally his shoulders slumped. “There is something else that’s bothering you. Am I right?”

“It’s just, that star…” Bruce bit his lip. “I mean, what’s the deal with that? What happened when you absorbed it?”

Thor rubbed the back of his head, fingers brushing through the short hairs. It was growing back, albeit slowly. “I’m not entirely sure. For the most part? Nothing.”

“Describe the star then,” Bruce said, stepping closer. “What did it look like?”

“Like a star, I suppose.” Bruce narrowed his eyes and Thor chuckled. “It was significantly smaller than a star, a bit bigger than my fist. Its glow was faint, but after I picked it up, it shone much brighter.”

“What colour?”

“White, and a little blue.”

“And was it hot, cold?”

“Warm. A welcoming temperature.”

“ _Welcoming?_ ”

“Yes,” Thor said thoughtfully. “It seemed to respond to me when I spoke. When it entered my chest, it felt strange, though not painful.” He touched his chest, feeling the beat of his own heart. “Once it had settled, I felt...good. Better than I’ve felt in a while.” He smiled gently. “It was as if the universe made sense again.”

Bruce was completely fascinated. “And this star, it—it passed through you? It vanished once it—once it did whatever it did, or…?”

Thor cleared his throat. “Well, that’s the thing…”

“I don’t like that tone,” Bruce said, squinting at him.

“You’re going to like this even less.” Thor glanced left and right, checking there was no one else around. Nothing but big, empty space. “I’ll show you something, but do not panic, all right?”

“Okay?” Bruce’s eyes were wide. “Thor, what is it?”

With one last precursory check over Bruce’s shoulder, Thor unhooked his armour, exposing part of his chest.

Bruce was silent. Finally, he said, “That, uh—that doesn’t look normal.”

Thor had discovered it last night when he had been preparing to shower. When he caught his reflection, right there in the center of his chest was a round mark, red and raised like a scar. It was an imperfect circle, thin red lines splitting off from the main shape like the cracks of a fissure. It was roughly the same size as the star, though when the star had entered him, it certainly hadn’t hurt enough to create such a large wound, especially on the body of an Aesir.

Bruce reached out, then thought better of it and dropped his hand. “Does it hurt?”

“Not at all.” He brushed fingers over it as proof, then covered himself again. “It does not sting, it does not itch. It’s just...there.”

Bruce released a long exhale. “Okay, we need to get Tony to look at this.”

“What? No! I showed that to you in confidence!” Thor protested as Bruce grabbed his wrist and attempted to tug him through the door. Thor easily resisted and Bruce jerked back awkwardly. “Bruce, I said not to panic.”

“You have some—some kind of alien tumour in your chest!” he exclaimed. “Thor, you _need_ to show the others. Or just Tony, even. He should know about this.”

“Can we not keep this a secret? It will only cause worry,” Thor pleaded.

“ _No!_ No secrets! We’re supposed to be a team, remember?”

Bruce tugged on his wrist again with all his might. Finally, Thor relented and allowed himself to be dragged upstairs.

They found Tony in the lab speaking with Rhodes through one of the monitors, Tony’s face split in a wide smile. Once he and Bruce arrived, however, Tony muttered, “I’ll call you back,” and the screen went blank.

At first Thor just stared at him sheepishly, but Bruce gave him a sharp elbow to his side. With a sigh, he exposed his torso once more.

Tony stared at it in silence for close to thirty seconds. “Right, okay. Lie down.”

“Stark—”

“Nope, do it.” He approached a flat medical bed that was pushed to the side of the room, equipped with a dozen strange high tech gadgets. “Lie down.”

With a grumble, Thor stripped off his chestplate, his skin prickling beneath the air-conditioning. Tony patted the bed impatiently. Thor acquiesced, shifting on the uncomfortable mattress. Once horizontal, the machines began scanning him.

“FRIDAY, look for any alien lifeforms, if you please.”

“Scanning.” A minute passed. “No alien lifeforms detected.”

“Okay, and no other cosmic, otherworldly matter?”

“None detected.”

Both Tony and Bruce were staring down at him, rubbing their chins in deep thought.

“What about the skin?” Bruce suggested. “Is it abnormal?”

“My scans indicate that it is regular scar tissue.”

“Can you do a regular health check-up, please?”

FRIDAY recited a series of numbers and measures that went over Thor’s head. “Vital signs are within a healthy range,” she declared.

“Right,” Tony said pensively. “FRIDAY, could you please take a sample of the scar tissue?”

“A sample?” Thor asked, then felt the sting of a tiny blade cut his chest. “Hey!”

“Perfect, thank you. Please run some more tests on that.”

“As you wish, Boss.”

“That is enough!” Thor sat up suddenly, nearly banging his head on one of the robotic contraptions above the bed. “I am quite done with your scans and your samples. May I go?”

Bruce raised his hands, placating. “Thor, we’re no closer to figuring out what the hell that star did, if it even was a star.”

“I am well,” Thor said calmly. “I promise this to be true: aside from the mark, I am completely fine.”

“Now that in itself is worrying,” Tony said, folding his arms across his chest. “Hey, speaking of how you’re doing, how _are_ you doing? You know, after our little stopover in the middle of space.”

“I—I am fine.”

“You were surrounded by the bodies of your people, like, yesterday.”

Thor’s stomach twisted. “Yes, you are both endeavouring to remind me of that.”

“Thor, we’re just worried,” Bruce said heavily. “You lost your friends, your planet… You went out there looking for Loki and came back without him, and now there’s this—this _thing_ inside you, but you insist that you’re perfectly fine.”

“What he’s saying is that we sort of thought you’d be a wreck,” Tony explained, “but you’re, you know, _not_ , and that’s just weird.”

“Well,” Thor said, folding his arms defensively across his exposed torso, “rest assured, I still grieve deeply. I still long to exact my revenge upon Thanos for what he took from me, but…” Thor frowned pensively. “I don’t know if it was being out there at the site of where it all happened, but…my brother, he—”

Thor’s gaze shifted to the side, not meeting either of their stares. They did not interject.

“It has sunk in now, the choice that Loki made that day. I had spent so much time being angry with him, for endangering our lives, for putting himself in harm’s way...but in his final moments, he cast the Tesseract aside so he might save me, and died trying to protect me.” Thor touched his chest, smiling fondly. “I live on knowing that, in the end, he loved me.”

Warmth bloomed in his chest.

“So maybe that’s why,” he said, his expression soft. “Maybe that’s why I...”

“Thor…” Tony took a cautious step forward. “I’m glad that you and your brother managed to, uh, reconcile, I guess. I just—I don’t know.” He shook his head, turning away. “I don’t know.”

Bruce’s eyes were wide and pitying. “Thor...you’d tell us if the star was doing something to you, right? If anything changes, you’ll tell us, right?”

“Of course. I showed you the mark, did I not?” He pulled his armour back on. “Your concern is kind, but unnecessary.”

“Thor—”

“I’m fine.” Thor patted down his leathers, then lifted both hands in supplication. “Really.”

 

\---

 

Thor was startled awake a little after midnight.

Nobody had shaken him to consciousness, nor had there been an offending noise to stir him. He was alone in his room, the blankets pooled in his lap, his mind alert despite being ripped from a deep sleep. His heart was pounding. No, not his heart — it was a fluttering sensation, that strange feeling he recognised from when he was in the wreckage of the Statesman.

The star was trembling beneath his ribcage. He placed a warm hand over his chest, his breaths coming out in short puffs. He gulped in air but the fluttering was intense, his exhale shaky upon release.

“So you’re still in here after all,” Thor said aloud, rubbing circles over the scar. “What’s wrong, little star?”

It continued to flutter, the discomfort becoming somewhat painful now, vibrating against his sternum. He winced, leaning back against the headboard.

“Are you trying to get out?” Thor asked in confusion.

In response, the star rattled harder, and he got the impression that was its way of saying _no_.

“All right, all right. Is something wrong?” he asked again. It continued to flutter rapidly. “Not helpful,” Thor sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

He gasped suddenly when he felt an intense emotion crash into him.

_Fear._

“Okay,” Thor said breathlessly, then felt wave after wave of emotion.

_Anxiety. Fear. FearFearFear. Confusion._

_Lost. Lonely._

The buzzing in his chest was getting worse. His heart pulsed rapidly now, matching the fluttering rhythm, the onslaught of emotions triggering his own emotional responses. Fear thrummed in his blood, though it was misplaced, nonsensical.

Thor gritted his teeth and forced out, “Please, it’s all right, little star.”

_Anxiety. Confusion. Lost?_

“Not lost,” Thor managed between pained breaths. “Found. You’ve been found. I have you. You are safe.”

_Confusion. Uncertainty. Safe?_

“Yes,” Thor exhaled shakily. “You’re safe.”

The fluttering continued, though it lessened somewhat. Undercurrents of confusion and fear continued to wage war within his chest.

“Take a deep breath for me, little star,” Thor found himself saying, his eyes squeezed shut against the pain. “Match my breaths.” He inhaled deeply, stuttering somewhat. “You are safe, I promise. Just take a deep breath.”

It took a long minute, but the fluttering began to subside. The star was shifting but it was neither painful nor uncomfortable. Thor’s eyes slowly opened. He wiped at the beads of sweat travelling down his forehead.

“You see?” Thor said with a weak laugh. “There is nothing to fear, little star. I am with you.”

_Safe? Safe. Not alone._

“That’s right.”

_Guilt._

A gentle warmth spread in his chest. It was pleasant, comforting. The star was trying to apologise, he thought.

“It’s all right. You were afraid,” he said gently. “We all lose ourselves to fear sometimes.”

_Guilt. Gratitude. Not alone. SafeSafeSafe._

More warmth flooded his chest, easing the pain. His breathing slowed to a normal rhythm. Drowsiness washed over him, his eyes suddenly heavy.

_Tired._

“Me too, little star.”

He slipped beneath the sheets once more. His hand remained pressed to his chest, even as he drifted off.

 

\---

 

The journalists arrived in packs, each group pouring out of vans with various logos printed on the doors. They hurried inside the building, lugging equipment behind them.

Thor watched them from his bedroom. They did not notice him thanks to the tinted windows, allowing him to observe at his leisure. He would be required downstairs in the next half hour, but for now, he lingered in his bedroom.

Standing there in the soft glow of a brand new sunrise, Thor recognised clearly now what Bruce and Tony were concerned about yesterday. Yes, a cosmic entity had entered his body. Yes, it left a mark — something physical, that was obvious, but potentially something much more sinister. Alarm bells should be going off but, for whatever reason, he was calm.

He could remember that moment so clearly: when he was alone amongst the ruins of the Statesman, when the star had passed through his ribcage. It was not panic that had swept through him. No, instead he’d felt peaceful; happier than he’d been since Thanos took everything from him.

While his mind didn’t understand why, his heart and soul _did_ , and that explanation would never satisfy Tony or Bruce or the other Avengers, but it _would_ satisfy Thor. For now, at least.

As he had done many times this morning already, Thor gently touched his exposed chest, fingers brushing along the scar tissue. “Are you awake, little star?”

It did not stir.

It was quite possible that Thor had merely experienced a very, _very_ lucid dream, but he just _knew_ that the star still resided in his chest. It had gone quiet, true, but he knew how tired it had been, had _felt_ that fatigue himself. When it would stir again, he knew not, and that made him just a little nervous. Worst case scenario, it could flutter and panic in the middle of the press conference. Even worse, perhaps, the star may never stir again.

Once dressed, Thor made his way downstairs and found the others. The full team of Avengers waited just outside a set of doors made of dark, reflective wood. Rocket had made himself scarce. Clint was among them now and Thor accepted his handshake warmly. His grip was strong, his eyes sharp, but beneath it all there was exhaustion. All of the suffering he had endured since the death of his wife was present in the way he held himself, his lips set in a hard, unforgiving line. After greeting Thor, he returned to Natasha’s side, their shoulders bumping together. Thor suspected the only reason he was still standing at this point was because of her.

After a few minutes, Tony whistled and threw open the doors. They dutifully followed him inside and were met with a series of flashes, cameras recording their every step. Journalists shouted questions and accusations. Thor found a spot just behind Steve and Natasha while Clint planted himself right at the back. Bruce was hiding behind Tony, trying not to fidget with nerves. Tony stepped up to the podium, the perfect picture of confidence.

Once their audience settled, Tony declared the Avengers a team once more, that they would do everything in their power to help the people of Earth. The Avengers formed a strong line behind him, their jaws set and eyes alight with determination.

Tony named Thanos, and the mere mention of their enemy’s name left a despicable taste in Thor’s mouth. The humans seemed somewhat sated, however, now that they had the name of a monster they could blame.

Finally, Tony announced the day of mourning. Many of the journalists in the room were nodding, and a solemn silence descended over the crowd for a moment.

“So,” Tony said, extending both arms to their audience, “any questions?”

Instantly, they were bombarded.

 

\---

 

A few hours later, Thor managed to escape to the training room once more. He waited politely until the conference was over and they had managed to free themselves of the anxious reporters. The moment Clint left to return to the city, Thor slipped away.

He’d entered the basement and FRIDAY said, with a hint of amusement in her robotic voice, “Blowing off steam again, Master Thor?”

“Humans can be very stressful,” Thor sighed.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

FRIDAY sent an army of faceless, mechanical humanoids and monstrosities at him. They were a fair challenge, enough to keep him on his toes. Using his body was a welcome change to this morning. Asgardian politics he understood — he had been groomed to be King, after all — but the way the Avengers had been expected to conduct themselves before their audience was strange to him. He understood the Avengers to be hailed as heroes, and yet these people had sought out answers aggressively, unafraid of those that they looked up to. Your average Asgardian had always tread carefully among those of a higher status or greater power, but the humans couldn't care less. He respected the humans for that; their tenacity in the quest for the truth.

Nevertheless, it was exhausting to be on the receiving end of such an interrogation. He was grateful that Tony is a well practiced smooth talker, and Steve’s responses to more difficult questions seemed to humble those who heard him. Thor had opted to stay out of it for the most part, focused instead on simply listening to the fears and concerns of the reporters.

But he was able to put those things out of his mind for now, because down here, Thor was at ease. Adrenaline flooded his body, his clothes damp with sweat. Perhaps the best and only benefit to having short hair was that his neck was cool. His long hair had always been sticky during combat, often landing his eyes, too.

He was cornered by five or six of the creatures, his back to the wall. He grinned, adjusting his grip on Stormbreaker and then lunged forward.

Only he suddenly choked, strong waves of _panic_ and _confusion_ smacking into him like a slap to the face. He fell to one knee, his hand pressed hard into his chest, willing himself to breathe. He shouted when one of the robots crashed into him and two more descended upon him. He grunted and tried to throw them off, protecting himself as best as possible from their blows, but his chest was so tight he could barely see straight.

_FearFearFearFear._

Thor managed to grab one of the robots by the ankle and swung it around in a circle, smashing into one robot and flying towards another. Thor pulled himself to his feet, still clutching at his chest, but he fell forward again when tackled from behind.

The star rattled relentlessly, as if physically slamming into his ribcage. Thor’s breaths were short and choppy, panic thrumming through his body and stressing the star out even more. The situation was spiraling out of control, their anxieties feeding one another, and all the while Thor continued to be beaten into the floor.

“FRIDAY!” he cried out. “Stop the training!”

Immediately the robots crumpled, the one on top of him sagging heavily. Thor threw the robot to the side, though it took some effort. He stared up at the ceiling, eyes wide, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

_Panic. Confusion. FearFearFear._

“You’re safe,” he gasped. “We are safe, little star. You see?”

_Disbelief. Fear._

“We are not under attack, I swear it.” Thor rolled to his side, eyes squeezing shut. He was light-headed now. “Deep breaths. Please, you—” he gasped again, his chest aching, “—you need to calm down, little star. Please, you are hurting me.”

The rattling slowed considerably at that.

_Confusion._

“I know you do not mean it, but you are hurting me very much. A deep breath for me, little star.” Sweat trickled down from Thor’s forehead to the tip of his nose. “Please. I will protect you, but you must trust me.”

_Confusion. Guilt._

_Trust? Trust. Safe._

That kind warmth bloomed in his chest. Thor inhaled deeply like it was his first, relishing in the sweet taste of oxygen. The star settled against his chest, pulsating something sweet and gentle, healing.

“Thank you,” he said weakly. “That’s much better.” He wasn’t ready to get up, so he continued to lie there on his back, breathing steadily. “That was a training exercise, you know. They were not real enemies.”

_Confusion. Curiosity._

“I train so that I remain strong,” Thor explained. “I can protect others if I remain strong. I can protect _us_ if I remain strong.” He sighed, his lips forming a small smile. “I suppose you woke up and found us surrounded by enemies.” Though he could not see the star, he got the impression it agreed with him. He chuckled, “No wonder you were afraid.”

_Embarrassment._

“You need not be flustered, little star. It is a natural reaction. Although, you should know,” he went on with a frown, “even if we were being attacked, I am powerful. It would take a mighty beast to defeat me.”

_Skepticism._

“Hey!”

_…_

_Amusement._

Thor blinked. “Are you making fun of me?” Amusement rolled through him again. “I am effectively your home right now. You’re bullying your house.”

_Guilt?_

Thor grinned. “I joke, little star.”

_Annoyance._

He yelped when he felt a tiny prick of pain in his chest. Somehow, he felt like he’d gotten the equivalent of someone pinching him, which was complete madness given the situation.

“Why do you insist on being so cruel to your home?” Thor protested.

_Pleased._

He was about to retort until his insides turned pleasantly gooey once more, that warmth bleeding through his chest.

“At least you know how to apologise,” Thor muttered with a sigh.

_Happy._

Thor smiled, the star’s presence now a small ball of joy inside him. It was a delightful thing, a simple happiness that just _was_. He basked in this single emotion, allowed it to fill his lungs, encompass his heart and mind.

Thor then felt a wave of fatigue wash over him, the star beginning to sleepily settle once more. It shifted like it was rolling over, its presence slipping away from his ribcage.

“Goodnight, little star,” he said around a yawn. He received no response except a final flick of warmth. “Perhaps I shall rest, too.”

He remained on his back, his chest rising and falling evenly. His eyes slipped closed, and just as he was beginning to drift, he was interrupted.

“Master Thor, do you require medical attention?”

“No, no!” Thor jerked into a sitting position, looking around wildly for one of FRIDAY’s cameras. He located one perched in a corner of the ceiling. The camera rotated like she was cocking her head to the side. “Please, Lady FRIDAY, there is no need. I am in good health.”

“You seemed to be talking to someone who does not exist, Master Thor. Do you require an examination of your mental health?”

“Not necessary, thank you,” he laughed, disguising his unease. “FRIDAY, might I ask a favour?”

“Of course, Master Thor.”

“Could you please not discuss what you just witnessed with anyone else?” he asked with a sheepish smile. “I would be eternally grateful.”

“I cannot avoid a direct question from Mr. Stark about the nature of what transpired here today,” she said, and Thor’s heart sunk. “However, I will not offer the information without prompting. I can guarantee you that much.”

“Then I am thankful for that,” he said solemnly.

Thor lied down again, folding his hands on his stomach. All too easily, he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was still hidden below the horizon. Thor was already up and dressed in clean, polished armour. Tony mentioned that they generally wore black on days of mourning, so Thor matched the theme with his darker leathers. Stormbreaker was attached to his back, a comforting weight.

The sky was an ominous grey. He endeavoured to keep the rain away, to stop those clouds from opening up, but it was with great difficulty. There were tendrils of grief slipping into his heart, deeper than they had for the past few days. Today’s funeral was heavy on his mind, though he knew it served as a means of consoling the living. He focused on that instead of what had followed him into his unconscious last night: visions of burned, twisted bodies drifting lifelessly through space; the sound of a _snap_ and a body landing in front of him.

He made his way downstairs and out the front door, finding the others climbing into a black limousine. Rocket lingered in the cool, early morning air as he approached. Thor gestured for Rocket to go before him, but he waved him off.

“Not sure if the human race is ready for a walking-talking raccoon,” he said with a wry smile. “I’ll only be a distraction.”

“Rocket, this ceremony is for you, too.”

“Eh, I can watch it from here,” he said with a shrug. “I got a pretty sweet TV in my room. It’s about three times the size of me. And hey, there’s some popcorn in the kitchen, too. I’ll make it a real _event.”_

Thor offered a small smile. “As you wish. Then I will see you later.”

Rocket nodded, then turned away. He dragged his feet only a little before disappearing into the building once more.

The ride to the city was silent. Tony was the driver as Happy still hadn’t been located, and though he was normally a talkative man, his jaw was clenched shut. The limo was fitted with numerous seats made of fine leather, spaced around the car so that no one knocked knees as they drove. Natasha sat with one leg crossed over the other, hidden behind a thermos. Bruce sat beside her awkwardly, glancing occasionally in her direction, but said nothing. Steve’s attention would shift between the world outside and the back of Tony’s head, his brow pinched.

Thor gazed out the window, watching the water as they drove across a long bridge. With the clouds as thick as they were, the water was murky, only catching a few rays of grey sunlight. He noticed a few stray raindrops hit the windshield, and with a deep breath, he willed the clouds to hold on.

When they reached their destination, an enormous white building known as the city hall, Thor was blown away by the sheer amount of people that had gathered. They were all clustered together, forcing the car to travel at a snail’s pace. Tony seemed to be restraining himself with monumental effort to not honk the horn.

As usual, cameras flashed and murmurings ensued as the Avengers exited the vehicle. Overall the reception was quiet, however, for the gravity of today’s proceedings was heavy in everyone’s hearts. Thor climbed the steps behind the others, and once he took a seat, he watched with wide, curious eyes at the eclectic group of people that were standing around the podium.

There were people of all different cultures and creeds. Some wore silk robes, books tucked carefully to their chests, while some wore expensive black suits and skirts. All wore hard expressions, biting nails and fidgeting with their clothes, while a few sported fresh tears on their cheeks.

Bruce whispered out of the corner of his mouth, “A whole bunch of religious and community leaders are here to pay their respects.”

Thor was awed, watching them talk among themselves. “I sometimes forget how diverse the human race is,” he said. “Billions of people live on this planet, all with different backgrounds and languages and traditions. My people are—we spoke the same language, shared the same food, believed only in the Allfather.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Never underestimate the power of free thought.”

“What do you mean?”

“People were probably forming closed off communities and cults all throughout Asgard,” Bruce said with a small smile. “Diversity is everywhere, if you’re looking for it.”

Thor chuckled. “You are probably right, my friend.”

The ceremony began with music. Trumpets sounded off, deep and solemn, the only thing that could be heard for miles around. There were camera crews scattered about, capturing it all. Thor’s gaze shifted over one human to another, finding frown lines and damp, red-rimmed eyes. He spotted Clint near the front, a baby strapped to his chest and two kids by his side. Their arms were wrapped painfully tight around him. Clint did not look at him, his eyes far away and glazed over with sorrow.

One by one each community leader stepped up to the podium. They shared anecdotes, naming members of the community they’d lost, or speaking of the mercy of higher powers, of prayer and positive thinking. A number spoke in different languages; some that Thor recognised, many he did not. Some expressed their grief with a calm, collected expression, while others seemed to fall apart the longer they spoke.

The whole ordeal went on for hours. Thor’s body grew stiff but he remained where he was, seated with his back straight, feet shoulder width apart. After the first hour, he felt the small, soft stirrings of the star in his chest. It seemed to be in a doze, occasionally fluttering before slipping into slumber again. He rested his palm against his chest when it began to flutter, and it seemed to comfort both himself and the star in equal measure.

Eventually, Steve got to his feet, inclining his head toward the rabbi that just left the podium. Many of the speakers had brought papers or cards to read from, but Steve brought nothing but himself. While he spoke, Thor’s eyes drifted to the other Avengers.

Bruce, for the most part, was well put together. Everyone he cared about was still alive, as far as Thor knew. That was the benefit of Bruce keeping people at arm’s length: if you let few people in, you have fewer people to lose.

Tony’s eyes were wet but no tears had fallen. His arms were crossed tight across his chest, as if he could physically hold the grief inside if he pushed down hard enough.

Tears drifted quietly down Natasha’s cheeks. She would wipe them away quickly, for even on a day such as this, she was never fond of expressing her pain.

Then there was Steve, who managed to keep himself in check, but Thor could hear the shaking in his voice, noticed the way his hands clutched desperately to the podium. His mask was slipping today.

On Asgard, these days were more celebratory. Respectful, yes, but happier, full of good food and high spirits. He had not envisioned a sea of people wearing all black, arms around one another, clinging and weeping until they could produce no more tears. He expected song and dance, sharing tales of triumph, but he supposed this was not the same. These were not some warriors who died honorably in battle. They were just people living simple lives until, suddenly, they were gone.

Still, the more he noticed these stark differences between Earth and Asgard, the tighter his throat seemed to get. The prospect of living here had seemed like a perfect solution after the destruction of his planet. Asgard was a people, not a place, but what was Asgard without its people? What was Thor without them? Without his friends, without his family?

How much could be cut away from a person until there was nothing left?

He hadn’t noticed he was crying until the star stuttered in his chest. He could feel its concern rolling through his body. He wanted to reply, but with so many people around and cameras watching their every move, he stayed quiet. That seemed to only make his tears come faster, the sky finally releasing a soft drizzle. The star shifted, pulsing warmth beneath his ribcage.

He inhaled suddenly when a peculiar sensation overcame him. He didn’t know how else to describe it: it was as if the star was embracing him from the inside, wrapping around his very heart and soul. Soothing warmth encompassed every fibre of his being, easing the sorrow until it was a quieter, gentler sadness.

It was strange. And yet, it was perhaps the single loveliest thing he had ever experienced in all his years of life.

 _Safe_.

Thor nodded. He was safe.

_Not alone._

Thor shook his head, eyes slipping shut. No, he was still very, _very_ much alone.

_Not alone. Not alone. Not alone._

Thor exhaled shakily, his cheeks burning with tears, but he mustered a tiny smile.

Maybe not.

 

\---

 

Rain had been pouring down for the past three days. Thor couldn’t make it stop; he was far too tired to try. He’d barely left his room once they returned from the ceremony. He couldn’t shake the bone-deep weariness that had settled within his body. Although he would emerge to eat, he would immediately return to bed and wait for sleep to claim him.

With little else to distract him, every movement the star made drew his attention. It was growing more active, fluttering and shifting constantly. It appeared to be much calmer now that it was familiar with their surroundings. Thor often felt little waves of curiosity or joy pulsate for seemingly no reason, and he wished he understood what it was thinking, if indeed it was thinking anything at all.

On day four, Natasha came knocking at his door. He had been entertaining himself with the new phone that Tony had gifted him. He grumbled at the interruption.

Natasha arched a brow, unimpressed. “We’re going to the city. You’re coming with us.”

“Must I?” Thor groaned. He rolled away from her. “This bed really is quite comfortable.”

“Considering how much time you’ve spent in it lately? Yeah, I guess it must be.” She cocked her head to the side. “Come on. Shower, then we leave.”

“Fine,” Thor sighed.

He emerged half an hour later adorned in a simple t-shirt and jeans. He’d lost most of his wardrobe between Ragnarök and the Statesman, but Steve and Tony had given him some outfits to work with. Stormbreaker was, however, still affixed to his back, and looked rather comical contrasted with his Midgardian clothes. Natasha was similarly dressed, though she still wore mostly black. She led him outside.

“Where are the others?” he asked.

“Steve’s already in the city,” she said, leading him to one of Tony’s other vehicles. While it was small, it was still rather shiny and expensive looking. “Bruce is with Tony and Rocket in the lab, as far as I know.”

“So when you said, _we’re going to the city_ —”

“I meant you and me,” she said with a smirk.

Thor stopped in his tracks. “I’ve been tricked,” he said with defeat. “Again.”

“It’s not particularly hard to do,” she said, swinging into the front seat.

 _Amusement_.

Thor turned away from the car to whisper heatedly, “Not funny.”

The star tittered gleefully. With an indignant huff, Thor climbed into the passenger seat.

The drive was quiet, comfortable. A few minutes into the journey, Thor reminded her that he could have taken them straight there with Stormbreaker, but she was against the idea. She was clearly at ease behind the wheel, the vibrations of the car seeming to take her mind off unpleasant things.

They parked outside what appeared to be a school. Natasha asked him to leave his weapon in the car, which he did with some reluctance. Someone — a teacher, Thor assumed — met them at the entrance and led them towards the gymnasium. Once inside, they discovered an overwhelming number of children and adolescents. They weren’t in class, no, they were sitting in circles with their friends or brooding in corners. Hundreds of sleeping bags and backpacks were splattered across the floor. It was another shelter for the children left behind.

A few of the kids noticed Thor and Natasha and, with a shout, the two of them were bombarded. They shook Thor’s hand or clung to his legs, their voices a shapeless cacophony that left his ears ringing. Still, he greeted them with enthusiasm and lifted some of the smaller ones into the air, although he quickly stopped doing so when he realised he would spend the next hour doing the same for the rest of them.

After signing a few hats and comic books, he and Natasha were ushered through the crowd by the same teacher. They were led through the gymnasium and down a dimly lit hallway. A door was opened to reveal a much smaller room with a group of even younger children inside. Thor wasn’t great with Midgardian lifespans, but he assumed they were under the age of 30 at least.

They waited outside for the moment as their chaperone discussed something with another teacher.

“What are we doing here, exactly?” Thor asked lowly.

“We’ve got a whole bunch of sad kids who need a pick me up,” she whispered. “I’ve been visiting some schools recently to read to them or play games together. They’ve lost a lot,” she smiled sadly, “but a visit from a _superhero_ seems to help.”

Eventually, the teacher beckoned them inside. Natasha treaded carefully around the tiny humans, Thor following after her. When she took the only seat in the room set aside for them, Thor sat on the floor with his large legs crossed.

Most of the children were watching them with wide, curious eyes. A couple of them were distracted, one of them running back and forth on unsteady legs. One of the girls closer to the front smiled shyly when Thor beamed at her. She shifted a little closer.

Natasha procured a picture book from the desk beside her, which she opened to the first page and held it up for the children could see. Her entire demeanour changed once she started reading to them, her voice almost melodic. The crease in her brow had disappeared entirely. Thor, unsure of what else to do, simply listened. At Natasha’s prompting, some of the children read along with her. The shy girl came closer to Thor and rested her head on his knee. He smiled softly, sweeping a hand through her silky black hair.

As he listened, Thor watched the energetic child up the back of the room prancing around on the tips of his toes. He had no care in the world, his mind caught in whatever colourful imagination he’d concocted for himself. Thor watched him with a small smile.

And then, from one blink to the next, the classroom was gone.

Thor started, scrambling backwards. There was nothing but white emptiness before him. The table that had been pressed against his spine mere moments ago was gone, too. Everywhere he looked there was nothing, just unending blank space.

He jumped to his feet, spinning in circles. He took a few steps forward then looked down at his boots. His feet were planted solidly but the floor was as white as the rest of the space, so he had no way of knowing where the ground ended and walls began.

“Natasha?” he called out, but his voice echoed into silence.

The longer he stood there, however, he became aware of a distant sound. He couldn’t see which direction it came from, so he closed his eyes, listening carefully. It took him a moment, but he thought he recognised the sound of rolling waves.

He followed the sound, taking long strides. Thor tried to call upon the power of storms, to summon Stormbreaker, but nothing came to him. There was no connection he could form with the heavens; no greater power for him to wield in this place.

In the far distance, he spotted the first splash of colour on an otherwise blank canvas. His pace quickened to a jog, and as he ran, he thought he could taste salt air. The swell of the sea could be heard clearly now, the air turning chilly against his cheeks.

Thor came to a stop when his feet hit cobblestone. A brick wall that came up to Thor’s waist ran around the edge of the stone tiles. On the other side was the roaring ocean, stretching out to the horizon before crashing down into a waterfall that ran for miles. The sky was a dazzling array of pinks, blues and oranges; a sunset that would last for hours, far longer than any sunset on Earth.

Thor knew this place, would recognise the sights and sounds anywhere: Asgard.

Except, when he turned around again, he saw the same white space that he’d come from, painfully bright in contrast. The world of Asgard began at the cobblestone path and ended at the edge of the waterfall. Thor gazed around in wonder, speechless. This couldn’t be Asgard, that was for certain, but it was so close to the real thing it made his throat tighten.

To his left, he heard soft footsteps. He spun around, fists clenched, but only saw the back of a small child. A boy, as far as he could tell, with dark hair and dressed in well-made clothes. He was walking along the edge of the wall, his feet bare, arms outstretched for balance.

“Who…?” Thor squinted. “Little one, what is this place?”

Thor’s question was ignored. The child continued to walk along the wall, legs unsteady. He made quiet humming sounds to himself, unperturbed by the deep water rushing beneath him.

“Please be careful,” Thor said, taking slow steps towards him. The boy did not turn around. “Can—can you hear me, little one?”

No response. As Thor approached, the child took a step, wobbling dangerously, his arms pinwheeling. With a cry, he fell.

Thor dove and managed to grab him by the ankle. He’d half-expected his hand to pass through him, that the boy wasn’t real. He was solid, however, his skin a little chilled. Thor almost fell off the edge himself, bent awkwardly over the wall, the tips of his boots scraping against the tiles. Fortunately, the child weighed little, and he was able to pull them both upright. Thor brought the boy to his chest.

Thor sighed with relief. “That was close.” He adjusted the child so he could get a better look at him, his hand supporting the back of his head. He frowned, the child gazing up at him with big, confused eyes. “Where did you come from? And where are your parents?” He turned back to the endless white space behind them, confirming that it was, in fact, still there. “Are you lost?”

The boy tilted his head. His eyes were a bright green, his confusion growing the longer he stared at Thor. His tiny hands balled into fists. Thor noticed the way the boy’s bottom lip started to quiver.

“I’m lost, too,” Thor said, offering a warm smile. “Don’t be upset, little one, we’ll figure this out. This is Asgard, right?” he said, looking at the sky above them. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Twin tears rolled down the boy’s cheeks.

“You had quite a scary fall, I know,” Thor said, stroking the boy’s black hair soothingly. “But don’t worry, I won’t let that happen again. As long as I’m here, I won’t let you—”

The words suddenly died on his tongue.

He remembered this day. Thor had been young at the time and his memory was foggy at best, but his mother had recounted the story so many times it had imprinted itself in his mind permanently. Frigga would take Thor and Loki for walks along this path all the time, getting them out of the palace, their hands linked together tightly. Back then, the pair of them were shorter than their mother’s knees, so she would lift them both to sit on the wall. With her arms wrapped protectively around them, the three of them would gaze out at the water, watching the sunset until Thor complained it was too cold.

On one particular afternoon, Loki had run ahead. When they caught up to him, they found he’d managed to get up on the wall himself, and when Frigga had called out his name, he’d slipped. Their mother caught him using her seiðr, levitating him back into her arms. He’d sobbed against her chest, frightened. Frigga sat on the grass beside the path, cradling Loki carefully, but he continued to cry. A distressed Thor had run up to them both, throwing his arms around his brother.

 _“Don’t worry,”_ he’d declared, “ _I won’t let that happen again! As long as I’m here_ —”

“I won’t let you fall,” Thor finished softly.

The boy was so small, his cheeks pink and chubby, but his eyes were the same. It had just taken Thor a minute to recognise them.

“Loki.”

The boy blinked, reacting to his name. He frowned at Thor, his tears slowing, then a wide, watery smile spread across his cheeks.

He pressed his face into Thor’s shirt, fingers clinging to the fabric, keening softly. Thor held him carefully, resting his forehead against the top of his brother’s head. They remained like that for several long, precious minutes, until Loki’s breathing began to slow as he drifted off.

“I won’t let you fall,” Thor murmured again, his eyes squeezed tight.

An abrupt _click_ caused him to jerk upright.

Suddenly, he was face to face with Natasha. She was giving him a strange look, her brow pinched. He was back in the classroom. His mouth was dry, hanging open in surprise.

She clicked her fingers in front of his face again. “You okay?” she asked.

Thor looked down and found the young girl had fallen asleep, his fingers woven through her dark locks.

“Y—yes, I—” He paused, swallowing the large lump in his throat. “Yes. My apologies.”

Gently, Natasha gathered the girl into her arms. A number of the children were now asleep on mattresses around the room. How long had he’d spaced out? Is _that_ what happened? Asgard had been right _here_ , all around him, and Loki had been...

Natasha laid the girl out carefully on one of the mattresses, pulling a thin blanket over the top of her. While she was distracted, Thor rubbed at his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Come on, there are plenty of other kids around who could use some cheering up,” she said, offering a hand. Thor accepted it, rising to his feet.

“Yes,” he said, clearing his throat. “Of course.”

 

\---

 

He accompanied Natasha the next day, then the one after and the one after that. They took turns reading to the children. While the stories were foreign to Thor, he delivered them with enthusiasm, engaging the children as best he could while their young, sweet voices parroted the words back to him. When they weren’t in the classrooms they were out on the oval, supervising the children while they played football or ran laps. Thor would run alongside them, feigning injury and toppling to the ground so that he came in last. He was rewarded by them dogpiling on top of him.

He returned home (for that, he supposed, is what Avengers HQ had become) each evening with a grin on his face. It was not enough to keep his grief from clawing into his mind as he struggled to fall asleep each night, but it made the daylight hours much easier. It had stopped raining, at least, though the sky was more often grey than not. He did his best to force sunlight through the clouds when the children played outside.

One evening, Thor stopped by the kitchen and then took to the roof, cradling a bowl of stew in his arms. The night was cold, goosebumps dancing across his skin, but the stew was delicious and hot, leaving his belly full and radiating warmth. He lay down, eyes drawn to the stars, a thoughtful smile on his face.

“Are you awake?” Thor asked.

When he didn’t get a response, he concentrated, sending a mental _prod_ at the tiny ball of warmth that slept in his chest. When the star began buzzing, Thor smiled victoriously. He figured this connection wasn’t a one-way street.

_Confusion. Annoyance._

“Do not pout, little star,” Thor said with a laugh. “You’ve been sleeping all day, have you not?”

_Grumpy. Tired._

“Perhaps you can keep me company,” Thor said, “since you’re up now, anyway.”

The star vibrated against his sternum, clearly displeased. Thor soothed it with a palm across the scar tissue. After a minute of fussing, it seemed to accept his ministrations, nuzzling into it.

“Humans are rather complicated,” Thor mused aloud. “Have you dealt with the human race before, little star?”

_Uncertainty._

“I suppose you are quite young, not to mention from outer space. The humans haven’t worked out particularly advanced space travel. Well, not yet, anyway.”

The star didn’t seem to know how to respond, but its little sparks of curiosity assured Thor that it was still listening.

Thor continued to ramble. The star continued to listen, though sometimes it would flick him with a wave of boredom until he changed topics. It was a strange conversation, considering how limited the responses were, but it was reassuring to speak plainly about whatever was on his mind. It was times like these that he missed his old friends. He still hadn’t forged those same kind of connections with the Avengers, though that was developing slowly.

He talked for what felt like an hour straight, still lying on his back, arms folded behind his head. The few stars he could see were glimmering, beautiful. He wondered if they were calling to their little lost star friend.

All traces of the star’s drowsiness had gone now but fatigue seemed to claim Thor instead. His eyes grew heavy. Each time his speaking slowed, the star would prod him awake again.

After another particularly hard poke to his ribs, Thor winced. “I only mean to close my eyes for a moment.”

_Skepticism._

Thor chuckled. “I give you permission to wake me in five minutes.”

The world seemed to fall away completely once his eyes slipped shut, the distant sounds of the city fading. He released a long sigh, but then frowned when the air seemed to change around him. It was warmer now, and there was light shining on his face.

When he opened his eyes again, he was no longer gazing at a dark night sky, but warm, dappled light beneath a tree. He sat up sharply, his hands pressing flat to the earth, for indeed it was soft soil, not the hard cement of the rooftop. He inhaled the scent of fresh flowers, heard the buzzing of insects, and was overcome immediately by the memory of this place.

The palace courtyard.

Except, like last time, this wasn’t truly Asgard. About 300 feet away the grass merged into searing white, stretching on and on for who knows how far.

Behind him, he heard the rustling of pages. Thor whipped around and found Loki leaning against the tree trunk, legs crossed, his brow pinched in concentration. He was older compared to the last time he saw him, though still a child. His hair was above his shoulders, his cheeks still round, and if they both stood up, he would only come up to the height of Thor’s hips.

“Loki,” Thor said breathlessly.

His younger brother glanced at him briefly then returned to his reading. Thor said his name again, but Loki merely huffed irritably.

“Right,” Thor said slowly. “You’re studying.”

Loki gave him another look, though this time it seemed to communicate, _obviously_.

Thor stood up and wandered away from the tree. He stayed away from the border between the courtyard and the empty white space, opting to amble in circles, his eyes roaming. From here he should be able to see the palace but there was only the sky, lit up in early afternoon light. The garden existed in its own right with no context; no view of the kingdom or the wider realm. Yet the light was warm, felt so _real_ , like Asgard still lived and breathed. Thor couldn’t understand where he was, though he knew it had to be a dream or figment of his imagination.

He returned to the tree, taking his place beside Loki. Thor ran his palms over the soft, neat grass. Beneath his nails he could see specks of dirt. How could a dream be so detailed?

He heard Loki close the book with a snap. Thor turned towards him and found himself nearly nose to nose with his brother, though he wasn’t phased. Loki, particularly as a child, never cared much about personal space.

“What is it?” Thor asked, noting the unhappy expression.

In response, Loki pushed at his shoulder. It was not a shove exactly, but he clearly wanted Thor to do something. With another push, Thor lied down on his back, which seemed to be the correct move. Loki moved Thor’s arms out of the way then, rearranging him until he could squeeze beneath his arm and lie with his head on Thor’s stomach.

Thor chuckled. “Happy now?”

Apparently not, judging by the noise of complaint. He grabbed at Thor’s wrist then, tugging his hand up so that it settled on top of his head. When Thor’s hand remained still, Loki maneuvered Thor’s thumb so it was tracing along his forehead.

“Oh,” Thor exhaled.

Muscle memory took over as he began to rub soothing circles on Loki’s forehead, along his hairline and between his eyebrows. Finally, Loki stopped complaining. A happy sigh escaped his lips.

Thor remembered this day, too. Well, the numerous days like this. He and Loki came out to the courtyard many times in their youth. This tree was _theirs_ , they’d decided, and they would spend countless lazy afternoons beneath it. Thor would run around and play on the grass, occasionally coaxing Loki into joining in, though his brother was far more studious than he ever was. Loki would read about anything and everything, particularly about magic as he got older.

The only problem was that he read so much that it strained his eyes, causing massive, persistent headaches. When he had noticed Loki’s pain, Thor had come up with a solution: massaging his forehead like this seemed to soothe the worst of the ache, though more often than not it would lull Loki to sleep in the process. Thor would then have to drag his unconscious brother back into the palace, which was exceptionally difficult when you were both small. He would later learn that Loki was not a heavy sleeper; he just enjoyed making Thor carry him.

Leaves drifted down, one landing beside his cheek. Thor stared in wide-eyed disbelief at this perfect memory. Loki’s skin was warm, though much cooler than his own. His hair was soft with a braid running down one side of his head. Frigga must have done it for him that morning.

Thor’s vision blurred with tears. It was too cruel for his mind to conjure such images, to force him to relive such precious memories. He would never have Asgard back, never have this courtyard back, never have Loki back, let alone sharing this easy affection with him.

“Loki…” Thor’s voice caught in his throat.

Loki released a dreamy sigh, already half-asleep. He rolled to his side, nuzzling against Thor’s stomach.

“Do you think—” Thor swallowed. “Do you think if I wished ardently enough, I could have this back?”

Loki shifted, pushing up so he could look at Thor, his expression quizzical. He said nothing, his lips pressed together.

Thor frowned, distracted suddenly from his bittersweet yearning. Loki was uncharacteristically silent.

“Brother, can you speak?”

Loki turned away, shrinking in on himself. He toyed at the collar of his shirt and slowly shook his head.

“That’s okay,” Thor assured him, running a hand along his brother’s arm. “Having you here is enough.”

In lieu of a response, Loki offered Thor one of the sweetest smiles he’d ever seen.

But the tree and the courtyard faded as quickly as they’d arrived, Loki’s gentle expression the last thing he saw. Thor was on the rooftop once again, gazing at the sky. His tears were real, pouring down his cheeks. Loss bled in his chest, ran through his bloodstream, filling him with grief.

And then there was the star, burrowed within his chest, beating one emotion in time with Thor’s heart:

_Love. Love. Love._


	5. Chapter 5

Four weeks had passed since Thanos snapped his fingers. Earth was settling back into a shallow form of normality. Much of the work the Avengers had been doing in New York had started to slow up, though they continued to venture there most days. The routine served as a much needed distraction.

Thor went looking for Rocket one evening. He knew roughly where he was staying, but it took him a good half hour to actually find the right floor. When he did, Rocket was in a small common room with an enormous television, his feet kicked up on the coffee table. All the lights were off, the room lit by the sterile blue light from the screen.

“Yo,” Rocket greeted. He crunched on some popcorn, offering the bowl to Thor when he sat beside him.

“What are you watching?” Thor asked, squinting at the screen.

“Kitchen Nightmares.”

A very angry man was screaming, his face turning bright scarlet. Veins erupted on the side of his neck.

“He does indeed seem like a nightmare to work with,” Thor said.

Rocket snorted. “Not really the premise of the show, but fair.”

The two of them munched in silence for a few minutes, completely captivated. Eventually, Rocket spoke again. “How are things?”

Thor smiled, unsure how to answer. “Things are...fine, I suppose. What about you?” He turned to face him. “You have been assisting Bruce and Tony, have you not?”

“Yeah, sorta.” Rocket shifted, sitting up taller. His eyes remained glued to the screen.

“Any progress?” Thor asked hopefully.

“Zilch.” Thor’s shoulders slumped. Rocket said, “Well, we got a lotta theories, you know? But no actual, physical progress. Thanos ain’t going anywhere anytime soon.”

“Well, it would be remarkable if any true progress had been made so quickly.” Thor tilted his head curiously. “What are your theories?”

“Eh, Bruce wants to create a wormhole. He thinks it’ll help somehow.”

“A wormhole?”

“Yeah, I think he’s trying to see if we can use it for time travel or somethin’. Hard to go up against Thanos what with the way things are,” Rocket says with a wry smile. “You know, considering he can alter reality with his _fingers_.” He flicked a piece of popcorn off his knee for emphasis.

“Time travel? I did not know that Earth was so advanced,” Thor said, a hint of excitement running through him. To undo the power of the Infinity Gauntlet would save most of the universe, but time travel…if done right, it could save Thor’s people, too.

“Well, that’s the thing,” Rocket grimaced. “It hasn’t _actually_ been done before, hence why it’s all just a _theory._ Kinda hard to do without that Doctor Strange guy. I say we just toss Thanos into the damn wormhole and let it shred him to pieces. To hell with the time travel.”

“You know that wouldn’t fix anything,” Thor said.

“Nope, but it would be damn satisfying.”

Thor considered this, then nodded. “It would be very satisfying, true.”

“Heh.” Rocket reached for the remote and turned the volume down a few notches. “You didn’t really answer me, by the way.”

“Answer what?”

“How. Are. Things?” Rocket lifted a brow.

“As I said,” Thor chuckled, “things are perfectly fine.”

“Yeah, I don’t buy it. You’re hiding something.”

“Me?” Thor laughed nervously. “What do I have to hide?”

“You tell me.”

Thor said nothing, staring pointedly at the screaming man on the TV again. “Did he just put two slices of bread on that woman’s head?”

“Thor.”

“Yes?”

With a sigh, Rocket slid the bowl of popcorn out of Thor’s reach, ignoring his protests. Rocket crossed his arms defiantly. “You know, normally I wouldn’t be this pushy, but I get the impression you actually wanna talk.”

Thor chewed the inside of his cheek. He said nothing for a long moment, until finally, “I don’t know how to…” His hands gestured helplessly, falling limp in his lap again.

“Okay, a shot in the dark: does this have anything to do with that star of yours?” He shifted closer. “It gave you a pretty nasty scar, I heard.”

“Did Banner tell you that?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Thor shook his head. “I suppose the entire Avengers team knows about it by now.”

“No, just me, I think. I was in the lab with them and found a skin sample...they told me it was yours. For obvious reasons, I asked _why_ the hell they had a piece of your skin under a microscope.”

“Did they find anything?”

“Nope, didn’t look like it, but that’s besides the point. Has the star been, you know...” He trailed off, however, clearly unsure what a star would or could do.

Thor scrubbed a hand over his face, contemplative. “It has been very active as of late.”

“What do you mean by _active?”_

“It’s...sentient.”

Rocket blinked. “Come again?”

Thor pressed a hand to his chest, right in the location where the star was currently sleeping. “I can feel it. It rests right now, but it will wake soon.”

“And do _what?_ It’ll wake up and do what?!” Rocket looked alarmed now.

“Nothing! It is harmless. It wakes up and...I don’t know, _feels_ things.” Rocket’s eyes were comically large. “I—we have some kind of connection. I can feel its emotions.”

“Okay, so it’s a star that _emotes_ , apparently. Because that’s a thing that stars do.”

“Well, that’s what has been on my mind as of late.” Thor leaned forward, hands knitted tightly together. “I don’t know if…”

“If what?”

“...if it even is a star.”

The sentence hung in the air for some time. Thor glanced in Rocket’s direction, meeting his wide eyes. He must read something in Thor’s expression, for his voice changed to something more patient and kind.

“Thor, tell me what’s been going on.”

And so he did. Most of it, anyway. Thor explained the first night he was pulled from sleep, the star beating an anxious rhythm inside his chest. He told Rocket that the star seemed to understand what he said but could only reply with emotions. He spoke of its fear, its confusion and its joy; how it recognised when Thor was unhappy and would attempt to comfort him.

When Thor finished, he swallowed, no longer meeting Rocket’s eyes.

“You’ve been sitting on this all this time?” Rocket asked, trying to catch his gaze. “There’s some kind of magical, mystical _thing_ in your chest that understands you, responds to you, and you’ve been hiding it from us.”

“I cannot explain my reasons for keeping it secret,” Thor said, but then he frowned. “Actually, that’s not true. I was protecting it.”

“Protecting it? But shouldn’t you be _freaked out_ by it?!”

Thor simply shrugged. “I was raised by gods. I wield the power of thunder. I’ve been a part of epic battles against monsters of legend.” He rubbed a hand over his chest when the star shifted, as if it was rolling over in its sleep. “This being is strange, yes, but not beyond the scope of what I’ve seen in my lifetime.”

“Right,” Rocket said slowly. “Okay, going back to the protecting thing then — why? Why protect it?”

Thor considered this. “Because—because he is _weak_ , Rocket. The star is so small, fragile, I—”

“Whoa, whoa, back up a second,” Rocket interjected. He pointed a finger at him. “You said _he_.”

Thor gave him a confused look.

“You just called the star a _he_.” He formed quotation marks with his fingers.

“I—” Thor’s mouth opened and closed. “I suppose I did.”

Rocket leaned closer, finally forcing Thor to look at him. “Thor...if it’s not a star, what do you think it is?”

This was the part of the conversation Thor had been dreading. This was why he had not spoken to anyone sooner. He’d been mulling it over for days, weeks, _trying_ to understand what this being was, and had reached his own conclusion:

“I think it’s a soul.”

Rocket was silent. Thor watched him, reading every minute detail of his face.

“Would it be so unbelievable?” Thor asked quietly.

Rocket shook his head. “No, I’m just...I'm thinking, okay? Give me a sec. I’m processing.”

“Do you not believe in the existence of souls?”

“I mean, I never used to, you know? But the Soul Stone kinda disproves that.” Rocket pinched the bridge of his nose. “I mean, honestly? After everything we’ve seen, it’s not unbelievable at all.”

“Do you really think so?” Thor asked, a flicker of hope burning inside him.

“I mean, it’s not that far fetched, right? Like, we went to a graveyard in the middle of space. Hundreds or thousands or however many people died there.” He winced suddenly, glancing at Thor. “Sorry.”

Thor ignored that, eager to continue this train of thought. “Yes, that is exactly what I’ve been thinking. To visit the site of great tragedy, it’s no surprise that something—that some _one_ lingers on.”

Rocket was nodding now. “I think you could be right. I mean, how can a star _emote?_ Stars don’t have feelings. That sounds even more ridiculous than the soul idea.”

Thor looked down, a smile spreading across his cheeks. He brushed fingers across his chest, right above the scar. Maybe, Thor thought, just _maybe_ …

“That look on your face…” Rocket said, drawing Thor’s attention back. “There’s something else.”

Thor’s smile dropped, hanging his head. “I dare not say it.”

“Come on, what’s the deal? You think I’m gonna be _shocked?”_ He playfully shook Thor’s shoulder. “Thor, buddy, c’mon.”

“I have a theory,” Thor said, “about who the soul belongs to.”

“Hit me.”

Thor’s eyes squeezed shut. “I dare not say it, lest you think me mad with grief.” He released a heavy sigh. “But, as of late, I’ve been having...visions, of sorts.”

“Oh, naturally,” Rocket said sarcastically. “Like this can’t get any weirder.”

“I know,” Thor huffed a laugh. “These are strange times we live in, my friend.”

“All right, tell me about these visions.”

“My brother, Loki…” Rocket’s expression changed to something more serious. “I have been having visions of him. Not dreams — though they come to me at night on occasion — but _memories_. Memories of another time, another place...”

He’d seen countless visions since that night on the roof. He had returned to the garden many times, watching his brother dash about the courtyard, practicing with wooden weaponry or attempting to cast spells. Thor had relived _the snake accident_ , though managed to avoid getting stabbed again. He’d wandered the halls of the palace with his brother late at night, the corridors lit only by a candle cupped in Loki’s hands. Other times, Thor simply found Loki asleep in his room, head pillowed by his arms on the desk.

Loki slept a lot in these visions, often passing out on Thor in the courtyard, mouth hanging wide open. He was exhausted constantly, more so than Thor ever remembered him being as a child.

He cradled a tired Loki the same way he housed a sleeping star.

“So you think…” Rocket hesitated. “You think it’s him, don’t you?”

Thor just shook his head, pressing his face into his hands. “I cannot bring myself to say it. I have lived in hope these past few weeks. To say his name aloud, I—an optimistic thought is one thing, but to speak it another.” He looked at Rocket in desperation. “Am I mad?”

Rocket returned his stare sadly. Gently, he said, “I don’t know.”

Thor chuckled mirthlessly. “So I am mad, then.”

“No, Thor.” Rocket rested a hand on Thor’s knee. “Trust me when I say this, okay? I mean—look, grief will _mess with you_. I know that, you know that. I mean, yeah, maybe the visions are just fantasy, maybe it’s wishful thinking, but…” His eyes were fierce. “If it _is_ him, then you need to find out.”

“I don’t know how,” Thor sighed. “I cannot ask him. He never speaks. I don’t think he’s able to.”

“But he responds to you, right? Like, maybe the star-soul thing could thump your chest? Once for yes, twice for no?”

Thor contemplated this, his mind returning to recent visions he’d had of Loki. He thought of him up at night, barely keeping his eyes open, hand poised with a quill in hand. On one occasion he dipped the quill in the bottle of ink and spilled it all over his work, the dark fluid seeping into the parchment, ruining the spells he had been working on.

Ruining the spells that he had been _writing down._

Thor was already on his feet. “Thank you for your insights, Rocket.”

“Hey!” Rocket called after him, for Thor was already out the door. “You keep me posted, you hear me? I want updates!”

Thor jogged in the direction of his room. He needed privacy, somewhere he could avoid being interrupted. The door to his room slid open but he suddenly found the space stifling. There were too many distractions here, not to mention the potential for FRIDAY or the other Avengers to bother him. He needed fresh air and an open sky.

He hurried to the roof, heart pounding. The star — or soul, perhaps — stirred in his chest, its confusion rippling gently against Thor’s ribs. Its fluttering intensified the longer he ran. When Thor took his place on the roof, he inhaled deeply.

“Deep breaths, little star.”

He closed his eyes and slowed his breaths. The visions always came upon him when he wasn’t expecting it. He had never been able to willingly enter that place; to seek out his brother whenever he pleased. Thor had always struggled with meditation, but he tried to do so now. He took a seat and focused.

The first time he opened his eyes, he was still looking at the New York skyline. He breathed in, let his eyes fall shut again. Patience.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there. Possibly an hour, maybe only five minutes.

When he opened them again, he was in Loki’s room.

His brother sat hunched over his desk, a thin blanket draped over his shoulders. He must have sensed Thor’s arrival, however, for he immediately peered behind him.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Loki.”

Loki squinted at him drowsily. He smiled though, sliding off the chair and approaching Thor. He was an adolescent now, his head coming up to Thor’s shoulders. He was skinny, the roundness of his cheeks mostly gone now, but his hair was far longer, falling to his shoulders.

Thor rubbed a hand over his chin, debating with himself. Loki inclined his head expectantly.

“Brother, I have some questions, and I need you to answer them truthfully.” Loki made a face, so Thor stressed again, “ _Truthfully_.”

Loki folded his arms across his chest, lifting a brow.

“This place,” Thor said, gesturing around them, “this is not Asgard.”

Loki’s eyes shifted back and forth in confusion.

“I mean, it _is_ Asgard, but not the real Asgard,” Thor said. “The real Asgard no longer exists. Do you know this?”

There was a moment where Loki looked at the ground, his brow pinched in concentration. He met Thor’s gaze and nodded, though there was uncertainty in his eyes.

“So you know,” Thor said in a rush. Loki nodded again. “And you—” he paused, swallowing, “—do you know who Thanos is?”

The moment he said his name, his brother snarled. Anger and fear came over him. It did not sit right for such a youthful face to twist with such painful emotion.

“You know what he did to you, then,” Thor whispered. “What he did to our people.”

With narrowed eyes, Loki nodded. His hands were balled into fists at his sides, trembling with righteous fury.

Thor exhaled. “Okay, so—so this place, if it is not Asgard, then what is this place?”

Loki’s anger melted away, though he continued to scowl. He stared at Thor, hands twitching at his sides. His lips parted, then he closed them again.

“You cannot speak, correct?”

Loki nodded, his gaze lowering to the floor, jaw tightening.

“Can you write?”

Loki blinked at first, then brightened, grabbing the quill and paper off his desk. He wrote quickly, then revealed his familiar handwriting to Thor:

_I am still weak._

“But you are recovering,” Thor said, his pulse beating faster. “You survived Thanos.”

His brother chewed his lip, then scrawled on the paper.

_In a sense._

Thor frowned. “What do you mean?”

Loki sighed loudly.

_I don’t know! I still can’t think clearly._

“That’s okay, Loki, that’s fine,” Thor said soothingly. “Then can you tell me this: do you know _how_ you survived?”

Loki‘s brow bent lower and lower, as if the act of thinking alone was painful. Finally, he simply shrugged.

Thor narrowed his eyes. “Are you lying, brother?”

Loki, clearly outraged, scrawled in big, angry letters:

_NO!!!_

Thor sighed, placing his hands on Loki’s shoulders. “You remember nothing at all?”

Loki chewed the tip of the quill, face scrunched.

_I remember a blue light._

“A light? From where?”

Loki shrugged, lips pulled down.

“A blue light,” Thor echoed. Though it intrigued him, it was not much to go on.

His eyes darted over Loki’s face, taking in every minute detail. Perhaps he was imagining it, but there seemed to be a discomfort, though not from Thor’s proximity. No, it was as if he was in pain, an ache that went beyond his soul-consuming fatigue or his sluggish thoughts.

“Loki,” Thor said slowly, “why can’t you speak?”

A flicker of anxiety passed over Loki’s face. He smiled at Thor, shrugging beneath his hands.

“The truth, brother,” Thor said, though not unkindly. “If you know, please tell me.”

The smile bled from Loki’s face, his eyebrows pinched together. He exhaled quietly, then took a couple of steps away, beyond Thor’s reach. He closed his eyes.

“What are you doing?”

Loki inhaled a slow and steadying breath. A soft, green aura danced across his hands, then he brought them to either side of his neck.

The bottom of Thor’s stomach dropped out. He watched in horror as bruised, mottled skin began to appear before his eyes, forming dark marks across his brother’s neck. It was so _wrong_ , particularly on Loki’s youthful form. The bruises formed the shape of large fingers, matching where Thanos’s hand had once been.

Once Loki’s glamour was gone completely, he regarded Thor with tired, watery eyes. He wrote two short words on the paper:

_It hurts._

A rage like Thor hadn’t felt in weeks reared its ugly head. His hands shook, his teeth crunched against one another. He wanted to squeeze the life from Thanos the way the titan had ripped the life from Loki. He would make him _burn_ for this. He would take on the force of all the monsters in the Nine Realms if it meant Thanos would choke out an agonising, dying breath.

He reeled the anger in. There was a young man staring at him with wide, fearful eyes. In this moment, Thor’s only concern was him.

“Come here,” he beckoned. Loki remained where he was, arms curling around his torso defensively, trying to hide. “I won’t hurt you, Loki. I will not let anyone hurt you ever again. Do you trust me?”

Loki chewed his thumbnail, his arm obstructing most of the bruising from view. Hesitantly, he nodded. He shuffled closer.

“May I see it?” Thor asked, reaching for Loki’s hands. At first, Loki resisted, and Thor did not push him. He had never been able to force Loki to do anything and he wouldn’t try now.

Eventually, Loki let his arms be pulled to the side, his neck now completely on display. Thor stared at the bruises, his jaw clenched shut. Loki fidgeted under his gaze, his eyes shifting around the room, looking anywhere but Thor. Carefully, Thor lifted both hands so that they hovered a couple of inches from his brother’s neck. Loki’s eyes squeezed shut, his body taut like a bowstring. He expected pain, a blow, _something_ , and it broke Thor’s heart.

“Trust me, brother,” Thor whispered, trying to catch his gaze. Again, he asked, “Do you trust me?”

Loki’s eyes opened and gradually drifted up to Thor’s face. He stared searchingly, lip trembling. Finally, he nodded, and his eyes slipped shut once more.

Thor’s hands brushed against the sides of his brother’s neck, the touch impossibly gentle. Loki winced but his eyes remained shut. A tear squeezed through his lashes and slid down his cheek. Thor brought their foreheads together, his own lip trembling, but forced his sorrow away. He would be strong for his brother. Thanos’s mark would not remain. Thor would _fix this._

Suddenly, a warmth spread across his palms. It did not come from Loki, but from within. He watched, fascinated, as a white light flooded his hands, creeping across Loki’s skin. Loki gasped softly, eyes flying open. He stared at Thor in fear.

“I have you,” Thor promised. Another tear slipped down Loki’s cheek.

Thor did not understand seiðr the way his mother and brother did, but he knew that this was not the same strain of magic. The white light leaked into Loki’s skin, slowly but surely erasing the dark, ugly bruises. Loki was mystified, the light reflecting in his bright eyes.

The white glow dissipated, revealing perfectly healthy skin. For a moment, a wave of fatigue washed over Thor. He blinked away the lethargy and cupped his brother’s face, hope dancing within him.

“Loki?”

One of Loki’s hands gripped Thor’s wrist, grounding himself. Loki swallowed and then exhaled, meeting his eyes.

“Thor?”

Loki jumped when a triumphant laugh boomed from Thor. Loki’s voice was far younger, not the deep voice he had known for most of his life, but the familiarity brought tears to his eyes as he swept Loki into his arms. He clung to his brother as a lifeline, heaving in gulps of air like they would be his last. He felt as if he might drown, suffocated by the weight of his own joy.

“Tell me,” Thor said, releasing a dazed Loki and holding him by the shoulders. “Where are you, Loki?” Thor placed a hand over the centre of his own chest and asked desperately, “Are you here? Are you with me?”

A wide curve graced his brother’s lips, his gaze warm and adoring. He covered Thor’s hand with his own.

In an instant, Thor found himself back in the real world, his hand pressed over the scar. He inhaled sharply, caught off guard, fingers clutching at fabric.

And then he heard Loki’s voice once more, speaking directly into his mind. He spoke a single, monumental phrase:

_I’m here._

 

\---

 

His brother had returned to him. In an unconventional manner, true, but Loki was really _here_. Thor was not alone after all; his brother had been with him for _weeks._

Thor could hardly believe it. He had been grinning so hard his cheeks wouldn’t stop aching. It was the greatest feeling in the world, second only to the happiness that pulsated from Loki’s soul. His brother’s joy threatened to burst from Thor’s chest; his gratitude inflated Thor’s lungs; and his love flooded Thor’s veins. If Thor were to die right now, it would be a blissful death.

He had so many questions. He had no idea where to begin.

They were in the palace courtyard, surrounded by the gardens their mother had cultivated over thousands of years. The sweet scent drifted lazily in the air, the insects flitting from one flower to another. The sun was low, casting crimson light across the sky. Much of the strange white space was gone now, replaced by an almost perfect picture of Asgard.

Thor sat on one of the benches while Loki stood in front of him, leaning over the balustrade and watching the city below. Thor could only stare at his brother’s silhouette, his eyes damp and a lump in his throat.

“Are you responsible for all this?” he asked Loki. “This place, this—this replica of Asgard, is this your creation?”

Loki turned slowly to face him, a small smile set across his young face. “I do not understand much about this place, but—” he raised a hand and a series of vines wrapped around the balustrade, “—yes, apparently so.”

“How is this possible?” Thor gazed around them in wonder, as if seeing the world again for the first time. He’d been visiting this Asgard for the past few weeks but the beauty was particularly radiant today.

Loki sighed, leaning back against the railing with his arms folded. “I am still trying to work that out.”

“You told me that thinking is still difficult for you,” Thor said. “Why?”

“When Thanos killed me,” Loki began, causing Thor to flinch, “something...strange happened. When he closed his hand around my throat, it went beyond the physical.” He shuddered, rubbing a hand along the side of his neck. “It was as if he reached into my soul and—and shattered it. Perhaps it was the power of an Infinity Stone, I know not, but he broke me apart.”

Thor’s hands clenched into fists, nails digging sharply into his palms.

Loki continued, “As a result, my mind is...scattered. There is much that I don’t remember — why my soul did not move on, for instance. I have been piecing memories back together, but it is an arduous process.”

“So, those experiences from our childhood, your youthful appearance—”

Loki nodded. “Reliving my memories. Rebuilding.”

“And that light…” Thor flexed his hands, staring at them curiously. “I healed you somehow.”

“Yes,” Loki said softly, another pulse of love echoing from one soul to the other. “Thanos’s power is mighty, but souls are a power within their own right. Your soul touched mine,” he explained, bringing a hand to his chest, “and that energy healed me.”

“A soul is what gives the Soul Stone its power, I suppose,” Thor mused. “Is that why you have been able to heal? By sharing my body, your soul has been in close proximity to my own.”

“That is my theory, yes.”

“I fear what would have happened had I not looked for you,” Thor whispered, an ache forming in his chest.

“I was but a fragment of my former self, yet you still found me.” His eyes were warm.

He recalled how Loki’s soul reacted to his voice. He had been such a timid thing, no bigger than Thor’s hand. The moment Loki had heard him speak, he dove for sanctuary in Thor’s chest. Loki knew instinctively that Thor would protect him, and that realisation lifted Thor’s spirits even higher.

“What do you remember, brother?” Thor asked, suddenly concerned. “We are over a thousand years old. I dread to think how long it will take you to remember everything.”

Loki winced, massaging the space between his brows. “Yes, that has been my concern as well. I remember everything up until the age I am now, and I remember most of what happened with Thanos on the ship.” He frowned deeply, contemplative. “Not much else, I’m afraid.”

“Do you remember Ragnarök?”

“I remember my triumphant arrival,” he said wryly. “I remember the part I played.”

A sour taste emerged on Thor’s tongue. “The Vault…”

Loki gazed at Thor steadily. “Yes, the Eternal Flame...and the Tesseract.”

Thor released a long sigh. “Do you recall _why_ you took the Tesseract, brother?”

“I needed to get off the planet,” Loki said. “It was my escape route, and I—I remember thinking, what if Ragnarök is not enough to destroy the stone? What if Thanos got his hands on it?” His shoulders suddenly sagged in defeat. He smiled mirthlessly. “In the end, it was our undoing.”

“Yes,” Thor said simply. “It was.”

“Your trust was misplaced,” he said, meeting his stare with regret in his eyes.

After a pause, Thor said carefully, “The one who murdered our people was not you.”

“I just placed a rather large target on our backs.”

“You did, but it was not your intention. I will admit, I was furious with you for a time, but that fury has long since faded. Thanos is our only real enemy.”

Loki nodded, though his brow remained pinched. Thor could feel the guilt ensnaring his brother.

“Besides, it wouldn’t be the first time you have betrayed me,” Thor said, though it was light-hearted, meant in jest. “So part of the responsibility is mine, too.”

Loki gave him an odd look. “When have I betrayed you before?”

Thor blinked once, twice. Loki’s face was completely earnest, confusion rippling through him. He really had no idea what Thor was talking about. Realisation dawned on Thor then:

Loki did not remember Thor’s banishment.

Loki did not remember falling into the abyss or attacking Earth.

Did he remember the death of Frigga? Odin? His sacrifice on Svartálfheim?

Did he remember that he is _Jötunn?_

Thor swallowed loudly.

“You tricked me, remember?” Thor said nervously. “You became a snake and then stuck a knife in my chest. After all this time, I still remember that betrayal.”

Loki narrowed his eyes. “You lie. That’s not what you mean at all.”

“What?” Thor chuckled, avoiding eye contact. “No, _you_ are the trickster! I would never lie!”

“You realise that our connection runs both ways, don’t you?” Loki said slowly, as if speaking to an ignorant child. “Our souls reside within the same body. I sense your panic, your hesitation. You are keeping something from me.” Loki approached Thor in quick strides, leaning over him. “Thor, is there something I should know?”

Thor grinned sheepishly at Loki, who glared down at him. Eventually, Thor deflated.

“It would be best you remember these things when your spirit is ready,” Thor said tiredly. “There is still so much you don’t remember, Loki. I cannot possibly fill in the blanks for you.”

He took his brother’s hand, squeezing it gently. Loki searched his expression, then his indignation left him. He curled his fingers around Thor’s in return.

“All right.”

Loki sat beside him. Their joined hands rested on Loki’s knee as he stared at the ground, lost in thought. Thor watched Loki’s profile, worry threatening to consume him.

Loki’s lips quirked. “If I might change the subject, then.”

“Please,” Thor said, his relief almost tangible.

“I heard some of the conversation with your rabbit companion. He mentioned something about time travel.”

“Yes, my friends are researching it.”

Loki tightened his hold on Thor’s hand. “It could be the key to saving our people.”

“I agree. Although, for now, we seem to be a long way off from actually being able to do it.”

“Maybe,” Loki agreed, but he met Thor with fiery determination. “But I think I—I remember something,” he huffed in frustration. “The memory is muddled, but I am quite sure I knew _something_ about time travel. I think I—I once travelled between worlds through hidden pathways, did I not?”

“Yes…” Thor said hesitantly. Again, he wondered whether Loki remembered Svartálfheim, or the events that led to their journey to that cursed place.

Loki seemed excited now. “Yes, I _did_ know secret pathways, I thought so...I do not recall where any of them are now, of course, but I am quite sure that certain realms contain time vortexes.” Loki turned to him, grasping Thor’s hand with both of his own now. “If I can just...if I can just _remember_ , then maybe we can do it. We could save our people, Thor. We could put a stop to Thanos before he even boards our ship.”

He had never seen his brother’s eyes filled with such hope before. _This_ Loki, the one unburdened by his darker memories, possessed a real, genuine desire to help. He wanted to assist Thor, the Avengers, their people. He _really_ wanted to do good.

If Loki were to remember his more painful memories, give in to his madness…

Somehow, Thor had to protect Loki from himself.

“Then we must help you remember these other realms!” he declared with a wide grin. “Although, I have no idea how to do that.”

Loki smiled mischievously. “I do.”

“You do?”

He nodded. “My brother, we are going to pay a visit to your favourite place in all of Asgard.”

Thor leaned back in trepidation. “Which is?”

Loki’s smile broadened. “The library, of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angie's art for this fic can be seen [here](http://angeline-farewell.tumblr.com/post/179518677608/my-art-for-the-thorkibigbang2018-exchange-its) and captures one of the scenes in this chapter :') please send her some love!


	6. Chapter 6

With a dramatic flare, Loki threw open the double doors. It revealed the enormous palace library with three levels of bookshelves, tomes and the odd magical trinket. The details of this room were exact, as if copied directly from Asgard itself. Thor severely underestimated how much time Loki had spent in this place.

“Brother, are all these books…?” Thor plucked an old tome from a nearby table. He opened it to the first page and frowned, then skimmed through the rest. “Many of these pages are blank. The rest are...incomplete, or in dot points.”

He turned to Loki expectantly, who watched him with a thoughtful expression.

“Remember, this library, like the rest of this realm, comes from my memories,” he explained, striding towards Thor and plucking another book off the table. He showed Thor the cover: _An Introduction to Transfiguration._ “This book, I think you’ll find, will be an almost exact copy of the original. I read this book back to front many times. But this one,” he said, taking the book from Thor’s hands, “this is about...ugh, a detailed breakdown of every kind of ale in the Nine Realms.” He dropped the book disdainfully into Thor’s hands. “No, thank you.”

While Loki’s back was turned, Thor discreetly tucked the book inside his jacket.

“But you get the idea,” Loki continued, turning back to him and sweeping his arms wide. His eyes were bright with glee. “There is much to be discovered here, Thor. The answers we seek are somewhere in this room.”

His brother’s excitement was contagious. Thor beamed, planting his hands on his hips and looking around them. “Where do we start?”

They split up, Thor opting to explore the higher levels. At this height it was much warmer, the space lit up with the orange glow of levitating candles. One of them followed Thor to light his way, allowing him to read books even in the darker corners of the library.

There were thousands upon thousands of tomes. It was utterly overwhelming. How did Loki have this much room in his head? Thor wasn’t an idiot by any stretch, but he couldn’t imagine cramming this much arbitrary knowledge into his brain. There were books he found dedicated to topics such as _Herbs and their Magnificent Cooking Properties_ , as well as _A Hero’s Guide to Screenplay_ , which — considering how dense the book was — explained Loki’s strange fascination with theatre.

Once his head started spinning, Thor took a break and simply explored the library. He remembered much of this place, having studied here and distracted Loki many times. Books shifted and rearranged themselves on their own, some leaving their bookshelf entirely and fluttering to the other side of the room. Down on the ground floor, Thor spotted Loki darting from shelf to shelf, two full stacks of books enchanted to drift behind him as he slowly built a third stack in his arms. A fond smile graced Thor’s face, affection blooming in his chest.

Loki seemed to feel Thor’s emotions, for he squinted at him and said, “Don’t be so embarrassing, brother. Keep looking!”

Thor grinned and obeyed, walking away from the balustrade in search of new material. He investigated the next level up, the high ceilings decorated with cobwebs. He strode between the shelves, frowning at some of strange titles he discovered now: _Beasts of the Deep Dark_ and _Spells of Eldritch Horror_ , to name a few. The tomes were thick and even contained notations in Loki’s handwriting.

The further he walked, the less candles there were to light the way. Once he turned a corner, the one that had been trailing after him suddenly fell to the floor, the flame snuffed out.

Thor stared at an opening in the wall. It revealed a strange tunnel that definitely should not be there. It was hauntingly dark inside, an odd chill creeping through the air. The entrance was carved into the wall almost painfully, with thick cracks splitting the wooden panels. He could see more bookshelves within but they were broken, collapsing in on themselves. Tomes spilled all over the floor, torn pages lying crumpled beside them. The tunnel stretched on so far that Thor could not see the end, and that made him more than a little nervous.

He knelt beside one of the books. There was no title, just plain leather. With a morbid curiosity, he reached for it, and—

_“Oh, do come in,” said Loki’s deep voice through his own lips._

_Two huge Frost Giants stepped through a shadowy passageway, the one that led to Odin’s treasury. They towered over him, red eyes narrowed with both dislike and suspicion._

_“Why would a prince of Asgard let down the castle walls for us?” one of them asked. “Do you perceive us to be of no threat?”_

_He felt himself shrug. “I perceive you to be a race entitled to the Casket. Call me a bleeding heart if you must, but it seems wrong for my father to confiscate it from Jötunheimr. Are you to reject a gift given so freely?”_

_The other Jötunn spoke, “This is no gift. What is your price, Silvertongue?”_

_“All I want is for you to cause a bit of a ruckus,” he said amicably. “That’s all. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a coronation to attend.”_

Thor gasped and wrenched his hand away. The book, which was face down before, now lay face up and open to the middle. There were no words or pictures, just plain paper.

This tome was different. He had just seen directly into Loki’s memory, seeing through his brother’s own eyes. This dark corridor was full of these books.

Loki was not ready to find these.

As silently as possible, he lifted one of the large bookshelves and placed it directly in front of the tunnel entrance. He placed some of the ordinary tomes on the shelf, making it neat and inconspicuous. If Loki were to walk past, he would see nothing out of the ordinary.

Conflicting emotions bubbled in Thor’s chest as he surveyed his handiwork. This felt wrong, yet he desperately wanted to protect his brother. Only darkness lay ahead from here. Let him remain innocent for a while longer. He will show him this when the time is right, he thought. Even as Thor made this promise to himself, however, he had doubts. He turned away, retreating to the staircase before he could change his mind.

“You are troubled,” Loki said once Thor returned to his side.

Thor smiled uneasily and took a seat beside Loki. They were at one of the grander tables, the wooden surface decorated with a golden tablecloth and an intricate candelabra in the centre. The flames on each candle were different colours, mimicking the Rainbow Bridge.

“Yes, I suppose I can’t very well hide it from you, can I?” Thor said.

Loki tilted his head, eyes searching. “What are you trying to hide, brother?”

“Let’s not discuss it now,” Thor said, squeezing Loki’s shoulder. “Why not show me the books you’ve found?”

 

\---

 

Several days later, despite hours upon hours of reading, they had not found the answer to their time travel conundrum. Loki was decidedly moody about it, but persisted with his studies. Thor assisted as much as he could, but it seemed like a better idea to let Loki do most of the reading. The knowledge belonged in _his_ memories, after all.

While they had no success in that particular endeavour, Loki was certainly recovering his memories at a much faster rate. Certain pieces of information could trigger multiple memories, forcing the library to shift around them and bring them to another time and place.

Thor had been able to re-experience his and Loki’s first journey to Vanaheimr, walking the surface of a sea far too viscous for anyone to swim in. They had travelled to Álfheimr and explored the mountains made of glass that touched the clouds. Then, they found themselves riding on cranes the size of elephants, the birds squawking so loud that Thor mistook their cries for thunderclaps.

He found himself disappointed whenever he returned to the real world, waking in his room on Earth. His belly would ache with hunger, his muscles stiff from disuse, and the old ache of isolation would settle into his heart once more. He constantly had to remind himself that Loki’s world was not real. Earth was Thor’s home now, but he never felt more at ease than by his brother’s side.

Thor tended to his hunger and his aches and pains. His body was a vessel for the both of them, after all. He ate large portions and fought in the training room, and occasionally he accompanied Natasha or Steve to the city when he’d been inside for too long.

On one particular afternoon, Thor wandered around the kitchen of Avengers HQ, watching the sun shine through the glass panes. He chewed an apple thoughtfully and paid attention to the ripples of discontent emanating from Loki. His brother hadn’t slept in 16 hours, which was really pushing it for him. His soul had recovered tremendously, but it still required a significant amount of rest.

Thor purposefully sent a wave of lethargy at him, but Loki responded by mentally pinching him.

“Go to bed,” Thor said quietly before taking another hearty bite.

 _Today has been such a waste!_ Loki growled. _I’ve been here for hours. My thoughts circle endlessly, it’s maddening. Where in the Nine Realms did I hide these cursed books?_

“You may very well remember after a solid night’s rest.”

_You realise that it’s not actually night-time, don’t you?_

“That matters not,” Thor chuckled. “Go and sleep. Don’t make me come down there.”

After a series of muttered complaints, fatigue finally consumed Loki and his soul went quiet. Thor smiled to himself.

“Uh, hey, Thor.”

Thor jumped in shock, his half-eaten apple sent soaring behind him. He turned just in time to see it land on Bruce’s head with a loud _plonk._

“Ow.”

“Banner!” Thor said loudly, nervously. “Why do you—how did—how _are_ you?” he asked, finally remembering how to speak.

“Who were you talking to just now?” Bruce asked, rubbing a hand across his forehead.

Thor drummed his fingers along his arm and offered a wide smile. “No one. I was merely speaking with, uh, myself. And my ancestors, you know.”

“Ancestors?”

“Yes! We, uh, we Asgardians, we—we do that from time to time. Speak with ancestors. Seek guidance.” His grin broadened to something painful.

Bruce stared at him. “Are you okay?”

“Of course! Nothing strange going on here. Hey,” he said, noticing the bundle of pages in Bruce’s arms, “what is that you’re carrying?”

“Ah,” Bruce said, sufficiently distracted. “Tony, Rocket and I have been working some more on our time travelling device. It’s actually got a name now.”

“A name? What is it?”

“The Timey-Wimey Detector.” At Thor’s blank stare, Bruce sighed. “It was Tony’s idea. He keeps playing Doctor Who on repeat in the lab.”

He nodded, though he did not understand who this Doctor Who was. An acquaintance of Doctor Strange?

Thor stared at the pages, curiosity piqued. “Might I see your designs?”

“Sure. Come to the lab, I was gonna show ‘em to Tony and Rocket as well.”

Thor dutifully followed Bruce to the other side of the building. He had barely ventured to this area in a number of weeks now. In the lab, Tony and Rocket were keeping themselves busy. Tony was playing with a number of semi-transparent screens that he flung from side to side, rearranging various images and documents. Meanwhile, Rocket was tinkering with a strange, clunky device in the centre of the room. They both looked up once Thor entered.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Tony greeted. “Come to play ball with the science bros?”

“I was curious about your, uh—what was it called? Timing-whining—”

“Please just call it the T.W.D.” Rocket sighed. “Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

“What? It fits!” Tony exclaimed, planting his hands on his hips defensively. “One of these days, you’re going to have to give me some credit for my creative genius.”

“It’s not meant to be a time travel _detector_ , damn it! It’s meant to be an actual time travel _machine!”_ Rocket grumbled. This was a regular argument, it seemed.

“Hey, Banner was the one that vetoed Tardis. This is as much his fault as it is mine.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Bruce said awkwardly, approaching one of the larger tables and spreading out his papers. “I made some more design adjustments. This should give us the frequency we need...or, well, get us a _better_ frequency, at least.”

As they all huddled around the table, Thor stood behind Rocket so he could easily peer over him. It was a thoroughly detailed diagram and the documentation had to be the length of a novella.

“Interesting. I see you’ve calculated the probability of success once again,” Tony said. “Has that number gone up? That number has gone up!”

“It’s a success rate of 0.3 percent,” Bruce said in exasperation, _“and_ I rounded up.”

Tony shrugged, then clapped Bruce on the shoulder. “Progress is progress. Isn’t that what Cap always says?”

“Your optimism hurts me,” Bruce muttered.

Rocket scratched his chin, analysing one of the pages he held in his small hands. “I think I can get these changes implemented pretty quick. Shit, do you think we can test this baby out today?”

“Oh, hell yeah!” Tony said with a fist pump. Bruce glared at him. Tony batted his lashes in an exaggerated fashion. “Pretty please?”

Thor masked his grin when he witnessed Bruce deflate, yielding to Tony’s and Rocket’s demands. As the two of them dashed away from the table, Thor patted Bruce in sympathy as his friend murmured, “0.3 percent chance...just 0.3 percent…”

Thor watched them work for a solid hour. Despite their verbal disagreements, their actions were in sync. He joined Rocket on the floor and kept him company, offering various tools and materials at his request. He noticed an enormous cord attached to the back of the machine that ran towards one side of the room, then disappeared down a hole in the floor.

“Where does that lead?” Thor asked.

“To the Arc Reactor,” Tony supplied, not taking his eyes off his many screens. “We need all the power we can get.”

Eventually, the four of them stood back behind the glass walls of the lab. It was time for the first proper test. Thor bounced on the balls of his feet while Bruce stood beside him looking particularly pale.

“Hit it, pal,” Tony said, looking to Bruce imploringly.

With a heavy sigh, Bruce typed a command into his wireless keyboard. He pressed _Enter_ , then they held their breaths.

The machine rotated slowly, gradually speeding up to a loud hum. A series of orange sparks began to appear above the device, though they were not a sign of an engineering failure. No, Thor immediately thought of the portals cast by Strange, and the realisation made his insides jump with excitement.

However, smoke began to rise from the machine, and that _was_ the sign of an engineering failure.

“Turn it off, turn it off!” Rocket cried. “You’ll burn my baby out!”

Bruce flailed and shut it down. A rather large chunk of the device slid off and hit the floor with a _clang_. Rocket smothered a sob.

“Welp, I usually don’t say this, but I’m taking a break,” Tony declared, stretching his arms high above his head. He abandoned them and headed in the direction of the kitchen.

“99.7 percent chance of failure...” Bruce said to himself, watching Rocket sprint to his machine and mourn its smoking form. “What did they expect?”

Thor approached the glass wall and squinted through at one of the screens Tony left open. It was a profile of Strange with information regarding the Time Stone listed beside it. Lower down, there were a series of photos taken of the New York Sanctum, which Thor knew to be Strange’s base of operations.

He cast his mind back to his brief visit there, recalling the various rooms that Strange had transported them to. One of them was a rather large library, and that memory gave him pause. A sanctuary packed with arcane knowledge and information relating to the Time Stone? Now _that_ could be useful.

As he made to leave, Bruce caught him by the elbow. Thor blinked at him. “What is it, Banner?”

Bruce stared at him, his expression calculating. With some hesitation, he asked, “I just—sorry, I know we sort of moved on, but are you sure everything is all right, Thor?”

Thor slid out of Bruce’s grasp and folded his arms across his chest. “Of course. Do you believe something to be amiss?”

Bruce chewed the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know. You spend a lot of time alone these days, and every time I see you, you’re...you seem distracted.”

Thor smiled wryly. He was never alone these days.

He considered Bruce’s words. He had weighed up the pros and cons of revealing Loki’s presence to his friends. Rocket was the only one who knew and that was only because there was no hiding it after their conversation. While he knew that Bruce harboured no real grudge against Loki, Thor feared that with an accidental slip of the tongue, the rest of the Avengers would find out. If they were to find out that Loki was here, someone who had attacked Earth and made himself their enemy...

No, it was safer that nobody else knew, as much as it pained him to lie to Bruce.

“Do not fret,” Thor said with a smile. “I appreciate the concern, but given the circumstances, I am as well as I can be.”

“Well, okay…”

Thor offered him another smile before turning away.

“I found something in that scar tissue sample, by the way.”

Thor froze in place, breath caught in his throat. “What did you find?”

“Low levels of gamma radiation.”

Thor faced Bruce now, his brows raised. “And what does that suggest?”

“It matches the same signature as the Tesseract.”

Thor’s lips parted, a long exhale leaving him. “Thanos shattered the Tesseract on the ship.”

“Yes, he did.”

There was a pause as Thor soaked this new information in. Bruce watched him silently.

“I haven’t told Tony or the others,” Bruce said carefully. “If that worries you.”

Thor nodded absently. “That’s probably for the best.”

“Thor, _what_ is going on with you?” Bruce asked helplessly. “You’re killing me here.”

A beat, then Thor swallowed and looked away. “I cannot tell you, Bruce,” he said, “but know that there is truly nothing wrong. I swear to you, I was not lying when I said that I am well. I am happy, in a way you may not understand, but it’s true. If something was truly a problem, I would not hide it.” He smiled wistfully. “Does that comfort you at all?”

Bruce’s shoulders sagged, but he nodded. “Yeah, okay.” He removed his glasses to rub at his eyes anxiously. “Be careful, all right?”

Thor grinned. “Always.”

 

\---

 

The sheets were tucked up beneath Loki’s chin, the rest of his body concealed beneath a light blanket. He was deep in sleep, dark hair pooled on the pillow.

Loki’s appearance had continued to age over the past week.  He was well into adulthood now, perhaps only a hundred years shy of Thor. His brother was tall, almost the same height as Thor, and his eyes had taken on a familiar sharpness that could be as captivating as they were dangerous. Fortunately for Thor, he had not been on the receiving end of such a malevolent gaze. Not yet, anyway.

Thor sat on the edge of the mattress, hands knitted together on his knees. He had seldom found his brother to appear so at peace. Thor watched him quietly, a flare of affection lit beneath his ribs. His gaze trailed thoughtfully over him. Thor’s brief interaction in the lab, not to mention Bruce’s parting words, had given him plenty to think about — the most curious thought being the mystery of the Tesseract.

Before returning to Loki’s plane, he had inspected the scar in the bathroom mirror, tracing the shape with his fingers. It remained unchanged since the first time he saw it, the skin soft but raised and red. Most days, Thor forgot it was even there.

Why would the energy of the Tesseract linger in the scar tissue? The Space Stone...is that how Loki’s soul had lingered? He did not know enough about the Tesseract, but Loki used to, and perhaps had found a way to utilise its power to survive. He had asked Loki directly if he knew how he had survived Thanos and his brother assured him he didn’t know. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time his brother had lied to him, but with their souls so entangled with one other, surely he would have known if Loki was lying.

Presently, Loki would not remember much about the Tesseract, for those memories were hidden in the top floor of the library. Thor had checked it before coming to Loki’s room, just to see whether anything was out of place. While those memories were still concealed, they would have to seek information about the Infinity Stones elsewhere.

Thor gently squeezed Loki’s shoulder. “Brother?”

Loki groaned, rolling onto his back and covering his eyes with his forearm. “I thought you wanted me to rest.”

“I do, but I need to discuss something with you. Besides, you’ve been asleep for hours,” he chuckled.

Loki’s eyes opened into a scowl, directing it at the ceiling. “Go on, then. I’m listening.”

“How would you feel about visiting the home of Doctor Strange?”

Loki blinked, giving Thor a confused look. “Am I supposed to know who that is?” He paused, eyes narrowing. “Why do I immediately dislike this person?”

A grin spread across Thor’s cheeks. “He did not exactly give you much reason to like him the first time we met.”

“If that’s the case, why would I want to visit his home?”

“Because the Sanctum contains Earth’s largest arcane library.”

Their heads nearly collided when Loki snapped into an upright position. “Midgard has an _Arcanum?”_ he asked, eyes wide with shock. Excitement rolled off him in overwhelming waves.

“That’s right.” Thor beamed. “There are not many Midgardian sorcerers, but Strange was one of them. I thought—well, we’ve spent hours in the library of Asgard, so why don’t we—”

“Thor,” Loki said, placing a hand on his shoulder, “you do not need to justify your reasons. When do we leave?”


	7. Chapter 7

“I will return in a few days!” Thor called out, loud enough that it echoed throughout the Avengers Facility.

“Hang on, you’re leaving?” Natasha called back.

“Where are you going?” came Rocket’s voice.

Thor did not reply, for he was already out the door.

The sky was a radiant blue, the sun shining down as he strode out of the building. Loki was vibrating with anticipation in his chest. The sensation brought a wide smile to Thor’s face.

With his armour on and a small bag of supplies on his back, he swung Stormbreaker rapidly and took off. Joy erupted within him as the wind hit his cheeks. He laughed when a series of birds squawked indignantly and veered out of his way. Though the trip would be short, Thor relished in the feeling of flight once more.

A curious sensation passed through him as Loki shifted. He felt as if Loki’s eyes were settling behind his own, watching the world around them through Thor, taking in the city below. A quiet hum of delight passed from Loki’s soul to his own.

Thor touched down outside the New York Sanctum, the road cracking slightly beneath his feet. A number of people scattered in alarm, but settled quickly once they recognised him. With a disarming wave toward the humans, Thor approached the Sanctum’s large doors and pushed inside.

The hallway was dark, the light from outside barely penetrating the multi-coloured windows. Silence greeted him. The candles affixed to the walls lit up as he walked, emanating a soft, golden glow. There were paintings and tapestries decorating every inch of the wooden walls, a series of charms and chimes tinkling when he brushed past.

Loki was soaking up every detail. His soul buzzed constantly, emanating awe and curiosity. After ten minutes of searching, Thor finally located the main entrance to the library and Loki’s soul practically purred.

 _Listen to me, brother_.

Thor easily transitioned into Loki’s plane. He looked at Loki expectantly, who was perched on a seat in the palace library. The pile of books in front of him were closed for the time being.

“You are the one who will have to do all the researching,” Loki said. “I will read along with you, of course, but—”

“I am aware,” Thor said, raising a brow. “You think I do not know how to research?”

“No, I—” He paused, pursing his lips. “Well, to be fair—”

“I know that as a _child_ I was not as studious as you,” Thor grumbled, “but I am not brainless. I seek a means to restore our people as much as you do.”

Loki released a long exhale. “Yes, of course.”

“Have a little faith, brother.”

Loki inclined his head respectfully. “Very well.”

 

\---

 

Loki was perhaps the worst study partner in the entire universe.

Despite hours of reading, the very _idea_ that Thor would want to rest or stretch his legs elicited a stream of complaints. _I put my faith in you,_ Loki would say, _so do not let me down, Thor!_

And so, by the time night had fallen and Thor’s stomach was protesting furiously, Thor threw his hands up in the air.

“I cannot go on, Loki!” he whined.

_The sun has only just set! Are you truly telling me you wish to surrender?_

Thor dug the palms of his hands into his eyes, massaging the pain away. He sighed, allowing his head to drop to the table with a quiet _thud_.

A touch of sympathy mingled with Loki’s exasperation now.

_I suppose you can break for food._

“I hardly need your permission,” Thor muttered against the table, “but thank you, I suppose.”

_You’re welcome._

Thor pulled breads, fruit and dried meat from his bag and sat on the main stairs of the Sanctum. There was an enormous hole in the roof directly above the equally large hole in the stairs. It was decidedly Hulk-shaped, and while he still carried grief in his heart for Heimdall’s death, he took a moment to chuckle at his friend’s aim.

He chewed while his eyes roamed. Only a few candles had lit up at his presence, so most of the light came through the roof. Pale moonlight shone through the giant globe that sat at the front of the Sanctum, and just beyond the doors, he heard the sounds of the city.

Loki’s soul had calmed, his thirst for knowledge quenched for the moment. He had settled behind Thor’s eyes once more, surveying the world around them.

_It astonishes me that sorcery exists on Midgard._

“It was news to me as well,” Thor said, taking a large bite out of a banana. “Strange was quite a powerful one at that. He is perhaps one of the few humans who could ever wield the power of an Infinity Stone.”

_...I suppose that is rather impressive._

Thor laughed, tossing the banana peel behind him. “You do not even remember your encounter with Strange, yet you dislike him.”

_He gave me a reason to dislike him. No, I do not remember specifically what that reason was, but—_

“He teleported you into another dimension for a time. You were most offended when he finally released you.”

_Why does that story please you so much?_

“Well, because it was funny,” Thor said with a smirk. Loki simmered with annoyance. “Come now, brother. You know I tease.”

Loki did not respond. After a few minutes, his annoyance faded away, replaced instead by something wistful.

_It would not be so bad to live here._

Thor’s heart skipped, caught by surprise. That was the last thing he ever expected Loki to say.

 _While nothing can replace Asgard,_ Loki continued, _there is something...beautiful about this planet, in its own way._

“Yes,” Thor whispered. “It is a beautiful place. Flawed, yet beautiful.”

_Midgardians are not my favourite species, but now that I’ve seen this place, the Sanctum, I think I’d rather like to study here._

Growing up, Loki had not attended classes dedicated to magic. Although Thor loves Asgard with all his heart, it was a heavily gendered society. Sif had to fight hard for her place as a warrior, unlike Thor who was given a wooden sword as soon as he learned to walk. Likewise, Loki had trained in seiðr behind closed doors, hidden in Frigga’s bedroom and away from judgemental eyes.

He knew there were other sanctums on Earth with students dedicated to studying the arcane. To study in plain sight among other sorcerers...this was what Loki had been denied all his life; denied the freedom to be true to himself. Perhaps that was how he learned to lie so well.

And perhaps that was where Loki’s envy had started — watching Thor train with his friends while Loki was alone and hidden in shadow.

A gentle wave of comfort washed over Thor.

_Have I upset you, brother?_

Thor sighed, massaging the space between his brows. A myriad of emotions were caught in his throat and he could hardly begin to express them.

He passed from the real world into Loki’s plane. Loki stood by the wide library table, looking at Thor with concern. The multi-coloured flames of the candelabra cast an ethereal light across his skin. His face was so open and genuine, completely unmasked.

Once again Thor was reminded that, as soon as that passageway just two levels up was revealed, his brother’s soul would become twisted with pain. While the darkness had ebbed from Loki’s heart by the time Thanos attacked them, it broke something in Thor to think of what he would remember: how much he hated Thor; how he loathed their father; how he despised himself so much he tried to eradicate Jötunheimrr, as if he could destroy the Jötunn within himself by doing so.

The expression his brother wore now would probably disappear entirely. He would look upon Thor with a complicated emotion in his eyes: something like love and hate; like adoration and resentment.

He reached for his brother’s jaw and ran a thumb over his cheek. Loki blinked at him, eyes wide with confusion. Thor smiled, his lips curved into something bittersweet.

“You would do well here,” Thor said simply. “I want that for you.”

Loki leaned ever so slightly into Thor’s palm. “That does not explain your sorrow, brother.”

“It does not,” Thor agreed, “yet I cannot explain it any other way.”

Loki sighed, taking Thor’s hand and dragging it away from his face. He sat down on the floor then, tugging at Thor’s arm until he joined him on the plush carpet. Thor’s legs stretched out in front of him as he leaned back against the table. Loki sat with his legs crossed, Thor’s hand in his.

“Do you remember hiding beneath this table?” Loki asked.

Thor huffed. “We did so many times.”

“Do you remember when you stole Father’s eyepatch? We hid under here for hours.”

“I think you mean when _you_ stole Father’s eyepatch.”

“It’s odd that you should say that, because having experienced the memory again rather recently—”

“It was you!” Thor said, jostling Loki’s shoulder. “You will not fool me.”

Loki grinned cheekily. “I always fool you.”

“Not always,” Thor said, running a thumb over Loki’s knuckles. “I’ve gotten rather good at seeing through you.”

Loki raised a challenging brow. “Only took you a millennia.”

“Better late than never.”

A small chuckle left Loki’s lips. At this proximity, it was clear that his brother was as fatigued as Thor was. Loki sagged into Thor, his head resting on his shoulder. Thor adjusted his shoulder to accommodate.

A few minutes passed in comfortable silence. Thor was struck, as he often was, by how real this world felt. He felt the softness of his brother’s hair, could breathe in his familiar scent, and his palm was cool, warming up slowly within Thor’s hand.

“Thor,” Loki said quietly, “why have you not told your mortal friends about me?”

Thor’s thumb froze on Loki’s knuckle. He squeezed his hand then, eyes sliding shut.

“So there _is_ a reason,” Loki murmured.

Thor cursed himself for being so obvious. “It’s a complicated situation.”

“Did I wrong them in the past?”

“No, you—” Thor licked his lips. He was lost for words.

“You know I will remember it eventually,” Loki said, turning further into Thor’s shoulder. “You should tell me what it is.”

Thor folded in on himself, his face pressing into Loki’s hair. No tears sprung to his eyes, but his exhale was shaky. “I’m sorry.”

Concern ran through Loki like a river. “Why would you apologise?”

“Because I am a coward,” Thor murmured against Loki’s head. “Because I don’t want to be the one to tell you.”

These gentle moments between them — Loki resting his head on Thor’s shoulder, the trust between them — it would soon come to a crashing end. It was pure selfishness on his part that Thor kept his silence. Soon... _soon_ he would show him the truth of it all, but he needed this for a little while longer. Loki was all he had left and this simple, unwavering affection between them was keeping Thor afloat.

Loki fell quiet. After a few minutes, Thor wondered whether Loki had fallen asleep, except his thumb was tracing patterns across Thor’s hand.

Finally, he spoke again. “There is darkness within me.”

Thor’s eyes squeezed shut. “What do you mean, brother?”

“Part of me is broken,” he whispered. “Like I’ve been hollowed out from the inside.”

“You are not broken, Loki,” Thor said firmly. “Give it time. Your memories will return to you. Your soul has almost healed.”

“I suppose,” Loki said thoughtfully. “Whatever it is, the last of my memories...it brings you tremendous pain, does it not?”

“It does,” Thor said, for there was no point trying to hide it.

“Well, know this,” Loki said, squeezing his hand, “no matter what happens, how these memories might change me, never doubt your place in my heart.”

Thor sighed mournfully into Loki’s hair.

Within minutes, Loki was asleep and exhaling quietly against him. Thor, who was choking down a sob, held onto his brother for as long as he could; for as long as his brother would allow him to.

 

\---

 

 _Oh, now this_ is _interesting._

It had been 24 hours. Shadows had developed beneath Thor’s eyes and his vision was blurring. The words on the pages blended into an inky mess.

“What is?” Thor mumbled against his hand, which was the only thing keeping his head upright at this point.

 _These books speak of sling rings and their teleportation properties, but_ this _text suggests that they can be used to move between different dimensions as well._

“So they could be used to move to another dimension...one that contains a time vortex?” Thor supposed, but his brain was sluggish with exhaustion. He barely registered what they were even discussing.

_Exactly, yes. Once we can pinpoint one of these dimensions — one that actually contains one of these vortexes — then we may very well be able to travel to it._

Thor yawned, massaging his temples. Immediately, his eyes slipped shut. “But we looked for one of those sling rings…they don’t just keep them lying around…”

Loki said something else, excitement bubbling over, but Thor was quickly falling asleep now. He was still propped up on one hand, but he could hear himself beginning to snore, too.

Suddenly, there was a hard slap to his cheek. Thor jerked upright, immediately on guard. He clutched at his cheek, eyes darting rapidly around the room.

“Show yourself!” Thor shouted.

No response.

Thor frowned, staring at his hand. The skin was turning pink and it stung slightly, as if—

“Did I just slap myself?”

There was the distinct sound of bitten off laughter. Amusement radiated from Loki. Thor narrowed his eyes, slipping into Loki’s plane and discovered his brother hunched over, leaning one hand on the table.

Loki met his stare the moment he arrived. A mischievous grin spread across Loki’s cheeks.

“You did indeed slap yourself, brother.”

The last of his drowsiness fled Thor’s mind and realisation clicked into place. “Did _you_ make me slap myself?”

“I—” Loki held his stomach, trying desperately not to laugh. “I was just so _irate_ , because you rudely fell asleep, and I wanted to wake you up, so—”

“Loki, did you _control my arm?”_

“I’m sorry,” Loki said, who was openly laughing now, “I know this is quite a serious matter, but I’m not past it. I made you _slap yourself._ ”

Thor threw his hands in the air. “Loki, what in the Nine Realms does this _mean?_ Have you always been able to control my body?”

“No, definitely not,” Loki said, his amusement finally starting to fade, “but I suppose I inhabit this body the same way you do. Perhaps it’s because my spirit is stronger now... Shall I try again?”

Thor quickly returned to the real world. “Okay, try and move my arm.”

Thor let his arm flop beside him. He stared at it expectantly. A minute passed, then two, then three.

On the fourth minute, without Thor’s prompting whatsoever, his fingers curled in on themselves.

“No, no, no,” Thor said, jumping to his feet. He held the back of his head with both hands and began to pace. “No, this is weird. This is too weird, even for me.”

This _is where you draw the line? Sharing your body with me, your brother, is perfectly fine, but_ this _is too far?_

“Will you just let me process this for a second?!” Thor snapped.

 _I wonder if my control is easier when you’re asleep,_ Loki mused. _Causing your fingers to twitch is one thing, but to actually force you to hit yourself…_

“Loki, I am officially laying down some ground rules,” Thor announced, hands on hips. “Do _not_ control my body, do you understand? I need you to promise you will not control me.”

_Thor, you are being ridiculous. Why would I—?_

“I am being perfectly reasonable! Do _not_ control me. Say that you won’t do it.”

_Thor—_

“Loki,” Thor said, a warning in his voice.

His brother sighed dramatically, the sound reverberating in Thor’s skull.

_Fine. I will not control your body and use it for nefarious purposes._

“Thank you,” Thor grumbled, throwing himself back into his seat.

 _Since you will not allow me to test out this latest development,_ Loki said petulantly, _will you at least listen to what I was saying before you decided to pass out?_

“Loki, I am exhausted,” Thor said. “We should _both_ get some sleep.”

_I think I’ve figured out a way to circumvent the sling ring requirement._

Thor blinked twice, then immediately transitioned into Loki’s plane. “You have found another method to move to another dimension?”

“I have a theory,” Loki said with a gleam in his eye. “Your axe, Stormbreaker...with it, you have access to the Bifröst, as Gungnir once did.”

“That’s right,” he said, frowning at Loki. “Do you wish to use it somehow?”

“Strange’s sling rings are able to move instantaneously from one place to another, creating a miniature wormhole. I believe the Tesseract worked in a similar manner,” he said with a confident smile, “and Stormbreaker _also_ works in a similar manner.”

A part of Thor wanted to ask Loki more about the Tesseract, about the lingering trace embedded in his scar, but he was following Loki’s train of thought now and excitement was brewing.

“You think we can access other dimensions through the Bifröst,” Thor said in a rush.

“The Bifröst is one of the most powerful wormholes in all of creation,” Loki declared. “If we can learn to control it, to command it the way the sorcerers command their sling rings, then we might just be able to use it the way we wish.”

“To cross into another dimension,” Thor said, a victorious grin forming on his lips. “To find a time vortex and save our people.”

Loki’s hands clenched in determination.

“ _Yes_.”

 

\---

 

_Will you please settle down, brother? Your anxiety is infectious._

Thor scowled and continued to pace, kicking at stray pebbles in the dirt.

Several miles away from the city, Thor had found a large, empty landscape to begin his Bifröst training. It was early morning, the sun still beneath the horizon, the sky illuminated in pinks and oranges. Birds were tweeting incessantly in the trees surrounding the field and the sound set Thor’s teeth on edge. He swung Stormbreaker back and forth, warming up his muscles and trying to release some of the tension in his body.

“Loki, I have never attempted anything remotely like this before,” Thor grumbled. “I have only used Stormbreaker on two occasions to traverse the Bifröst. Now you ask me to command it as I command storms.”

_If you recall, you were quite keen on the idea last night._

“Yes, but I—” He swallowed, jaw clicking. “This is not my area of expertise. To use it in this manner requires...it requires—”

 _It requires seiðr, yes._ Loki hummed with amusement. _I am very much going to enjoy watching you flounder._

“The Bifröst is an enormous energy force that can destroy _planets!”_ Thor cried in frustration. “If I do this wrong, I could cleave Midgard in two.”

 _Oh, don’t be so dramatic,_ Loki chuckled. _You have me to assist you. Besides, you learned how to control lightning without Mjölnir. There is magic that runs through your veins too, brother. You will learn how to control the Bifröst just the same._

“If you say so,” Thor muttered, though he was rather flattered that Loki had such faith in him.

 _Now,_ Loki said seriously, _the dimension we seek to enter is known as the Mirror Dimension. If we can manage that, we can practice travelling to more complicated dimensions once we’re inside. You want to try and create a circle using Stormbreaker’s energy. This will serve as our gateway._

Thor widened his stance and raised Stormbreaker, pointing it in front of him. His brow pinched suddenly. “Wait, how am I to know that the gateway will take us to this Mirror Dimension?”

_The Midgardian sorcerers seem to travel to that dimension rather easily. I presume it is the first dimension that connects to multiple dimensions._

“You _presume?”_

_Will you concentrate, please?_

Thor rolled his eyes and focused on Stormbreaker once more. He traced a circle in the air as instructed, getting a feel for the shape at first, Stormbreaker vibrating gently in his palm. Slowly, he summoned the familiar energy of the Bifröst, and—

Thor was flung forward as the inter-dimensional energy ensnared him. He yelped and dug his heels into the ground, breaking the connection with the Bifröst with an enormous amount of strength.

He panted, holding Stormbreaker with two hands as it buzzed violently. He glanced around him and found himself in a desert, the markings of the Bifröst burned into the ground beneath him. Panic gripped him for a moment and he wondered whether he had landed on another planet. Fortunately, once he looked to the sky, he recognised the same sun and clouds, the morning light finally peeking over the horizon. He had no idea how far he had travelled, but he could no longer see the New York skyline.

_Well, that could have gone better._

“Oh, shut up.”

 

\---

 

By the end of the day, there were Bifröst circles burned throughout the field, overlapping each other and wafting smoke. Thor was on one knee, hunched over and using Stormbreaker as support. His face was flushed, sweat dripping down his forehead and the back of his neck. His arms shook, the muscles jittery and weak.

_Again._

Thor groaned, pushing himself shakily to his feet. “I cannot do much more of this. I will burn myself out.”

_One more time, then we will stop._

“You said that last time,” Thor complained.

He widened his stance for what must be the hundredth time that day. He raised Stormbreaker but his hands ached, blisters beginning to form on his palms. Once again, he traced a circle, but his body trembled so badly that he could only manage a wobbly squiggle.

“I can’t,” Thor said, letting his arms fall back to his sides. “I cannot do this, Loki.”

 _Of course you can_ , Loki said, and Thor was surprised by the confidence in his voice. _You said that you formed Stormbreaker by taking on the full force of a star; that power is yours to command now. Stormbreaker will come to obey you, but you need to keep practicing._

“I am not saying I will never be able to do it,” Thor sighed, wiping his brow with the back of his hand, “but not today. This is going to take time — it could take weeks, months. I cannot channel magic the same way you can, Loki.”

Loki was quiet, contemplative.

_One more time, Thor._

“Loki—”

_Please._

Thor swallowed, cursing his brother silently. He raised Stormbreaker once again, wincing at the pain that ran through his muscles.

He was caught by surprise, however, as a peculiar sensation came over him. Goosebumps travelled up his forearms, the pain becoming dull, almost non-existent. It became easier to stand, like something was holding him upright. Seiðr began to flow through his veins, and part of it was his own, but much of it belonged to someone else.

“Loki?”

 _One more time,_ Loki said, and his voice seemed closer, the words murmured beside Thor’s ear. A pleasurable tingle ran up Thor’s spine.

Loki had taken control of his body again, though they were inhabiting it in equal measure this time, their souls in sync. Thor should reprimand him for it (Loki had promised he wouldn’t do this!) but determination was returning to him now with a fresh rush of adrenaline. Thor focused once more and began to make a circle.

The Bifröst rushed behind him, attempting to sweep him off his feet as it had done all day. Thor pushed back and gripped Stormbreaker hard. He felt the presence of Loki’s hands over his own, keeping him steady. He continued to form the circle, guided by Loki, and slowly the force of the Bifröst lessened. Thor stood taller, no longer battling against that force, and concentrated on Stormbreaker. His weapon began to glow blue, then the colour became iridescent: it flashed green, violet, red, every colour of the Rainbow Bridge.

Finally, _finally_ , sparks began to erupt from Stormbreaker, a line of bright blue energy shooting forward and following the movements of Thor’s hands. He and Loki traced a smooth circle, the energy linking together and beginning to spin rapidly. The circle became rounder still, a perfect shape, and then he saw it:

A gateway.

Thor was completely spent, however, and even with Loki’s strength, he dropped to his knees. He stared at the gateway, the world within shifting and warping. Thor knew that it was the Mirror Dimension.

 _It worked_.

“We did it,” Thor exhaled, pride rippling through his chest. “We did it, brother!”

The portal fizzled out quickly without their efforts to keep it open, but it hardly seemed to matter. Their entangled souls brightened with triumph.


	8. Chapter 8

A solid 12 hours of sleep was required before Thor had recovered. Even then, exhaustion plagued him, his mind unusually sluggish. Nevertheless, he readied himself and returned to the same field as yesterday.

It was early afternoon, the sun bearing down relentlessly. The autumn breeze soothed him somewhat. Thor bounced on his feet with anticipation.

“Ready, brother?”

_Ready._

Thor’s arms became Loki’s once more, the two of them wrapping Stormbreaker in a luminescent layer of magic. The Bifröst bellowed behind them, sweeping through Thor’s short hair and cooling the layer of sweat across his skin. The energy flowed into Stormbreaker, sparks shooting forward from the axehead. They cut a circle into the air before them and within a minute the gateway had settled: a path to the Mirror Dimension had been born. Without hesitation, Thor stepped through it.

A crystalline layer rippled above and below Thor, forming hard, reflective edges that segmented the landscape around him. Light shimmered and refracted in an array of colours, beautiful in a strange, ethereal way. Transfixed, Thor reached out to touch but was met with air, the mirror surface seeming to retreat if he got too close.

Loki was equally intrigued, curiosity pulsing and mixing with Thor’s own.

 _An entire dimension lurking beneath the surface of the Material Plane,_ he said with awe. _There must be thousands of dimensions that run parallel to our own, or split off and chart their own path. It would be so easy to lose ourselves forever..._

“You are making me nervous,” Thor grumbled. “I would prefer not to get lost, if it can be helped.”

 _Time travel will almost certainly have risks,_ Loki said. _This is one of them. We are messing with the fabric of reality, after all._

“That is not particularly reassuring.”

 _It’s not meant to be_ , Loki huffed with amusement. _We must simply be careful, Thor. We could lose everything, but at the same time, we could restore our people. That is a risk worth taking._

“Very well,” Thor said, shaking his head and some of his anxiety with it. “Do you have any idea which dimension we are looking for?”

_It is known as the Quantum Realm._

“The Quantum Realm?” Thor repeated in confusion. “I don’t recall reading about that dimension.”

_Well, you may have been the one that turned the pages of those ancient tomes, but it doesn’t mean you were actually paying attention._

Thor scowled indignantly. “I _was_ paying attention!”

_And yet you don't remember._

Loki’s soul shifted strangely. If Thor hadn’t noticed it, he would have become increasingly flustered, but there was something off about Loki’s words.

“I never read about the Quantum Realm…”

_Yes, as I said, you were a glorified page-turner who—_

“But you did.”

The smallest flicker of nerves passed through Loki.

_What is your point?_

“I woke up this morning well rested, yet my eyes sting and my body still aches,” Thor said slowly, contemplative. “And you, Loki...you are still fatigued. I can feel it.”

_Yesterday was rather draining, as I am sure you recall._

“You did not sleep last night,” Thor said with narrowed eyes. “You stayed up. You read about the Quantum Realm.”

_Where would I have found that information? Not on Asgard, and given the fact that I am stuck inside your body—_

“You used my body to do research,” Thor declared, eyes narrowed. “Is that right?”

Loki scoffed. _Thor, you are being ridiculous._

“I can sense your dishonesty!” Thor said, melding into their shared plane to glare at his brother. He jabbed a finger at Loki’s chest. “You promised, and yet you used me to read while I slept.”

Loki smiled sweetly, taking a couple of steps back. “It’s fortunate that I did, otherwise we would not know which dimension contains a time vortex.”

“I asked you not to do that.”

“You have no qualms with me using you provided you can borrow my seiðr.”

Thor sighed in exasperation. “There’s a difference between us _working together_ and you using me while I’m asleep.”

“I needed your eyes. If I had a set of my own, I would use those, but alas.”

Thor could see the guarded expression on Loki’s face, though he hid behind a smirk. Thor swallowed down his frustration for the moment.

“Promise me again,” Thor said, staring intently at Loki. “Promise me you will not do it.”

“Technically I promised I would not use your body for nefarious purposes,” Loki said, lifting a challenging brow. “Reading a book is hardly nefarious.”

“Loki.”

Loki growled and looked away. “Must we discuss this now? We are quite literally in another dimension. There are more pressing matters.”

Thor’s shoulders slumped, confusion taking hold. Why was _Loki_ upset? _Thor_ was the one who had any right to be unhappy.

“We will discuss this later,” Thor said firmly.

“Wonderful,” Loki retorted with an eye roll. He waved him away.

Thor returned to the Mirror Dimension. Both he and Loki were simmering irritably at one another, reflecting their own annoyance back and forth. It was not so long ago that they could storm off and cool down alone, but that was not an option for them now.

“How do I access the Quantum Realm?” Thor asked eventually.

 _To enter through a sling ring would be exceptionally difficult,_ Loki replied calmly, though there was still an edge to his voice. _With Stormbreaker, we have an advantage. If you call for the Quantum Realm while using Stormbreaker’s power, your weapon should lead you there._

Thor exhaled. “Visiting a planet that exists within the same realm is one thing, but—”

 _I am optimistic,_ Loki said dryly.

“Then I will try it,” Thor said, lips quirking. He steadied both hands on Stormbreaker. “Ready?”

In response, Loki’s magic wrapped around him, the sensation of phantom hands curling over his own. Together, they focused on their destination, Thor closing his eyes and picturing a swirling gateway. The force of the Bifröst surrounded them, eliciting goosebumps along Thor’s skin.

Sweat beaded down Thor’s temple. His energy was depleting at an alarming rate. Opening this portal was going to be a challenge, it seemed. Thor clenched his jaw and thought of Asgard, of their people. He thought of the ruins of the ship, bodies frozen and lost in the vast darkness of space. His grip tightened fiercely on Stormbreaker.

But then he heard a gasp of pain, Loki’s seiðr wavering. Thor’s eyes snapped open and saw the light of the Bifröst swimming in front of him.

_Thor, don’t break concentration!_

It was too late — the circle of blue light shuddered and broke apart. The light shot forward, slamming into Thor’s chest and sending him flying backwards.

Thor braced for impact but nothing came. He spun in the air and attempted to land on his feet, but his feet instead passed through the earth. He scrabbled for purchase and shot upward with a few kicks, levitating several feet off the ground.

He stared wide eyed at the scene before him: he could see _himself_ a few feet ahead, his body falling backward at an impossibly slow rate. His arms were extended wide, as if the Bifröst had only just struck him. Thor glanced at his own hands then, blinking twice when he saw that they were semi-transparent.

“We are not dead yet, brother.”

Thor jumped in shock, floating higher into the air. His eyes snapped to Loki, who swam through the air towards him. His brother was equally transparent, ghostly. It was as if they were underwater, Loki’s long hair lifted up like a black flame.

Thor turned in a circle, eyes darting everywhere. The world appeared darker, Earth’s landscape blurred. In the sky, he could make out the shapes of birds, but they were frozen in place.

“I remember reading about this,” Thor said, meeting Loki’s stare. “This is another dimension.”

“The Astral Plane,” Loki confirmed.

Thor frowned and drifted closer. As a test, Thor reached out and touched Loki’s forehead. He was solid beneath his fingertips.

Loki squinted and pushed away from him. “Yes, I’m here. This is not an illusion.”

“But why are we here?” Thor asked, folding his arms. “We weren’t aiming for this plane.”

“I...lost focus,” Loki said with a scowl, “and our control over the Bifröst was shaken. It seems the energy rebounded and we were sent into the Astral Plane instead.”

“The Astral Plane...it allows a soul to travel beyond the body,” Thor said, trying desperately to remember everything they had read over the past few days. “So, when that energy struck me, it forced us both out.”

Loki nodded absently, his attention on Thor’s physical body. Time was passing so slowly it was as if he was standing still; he had been falling backwards for almost three minutes. Stormbreaker had been released from his hand, light still sparking from the axehead.

“Are we stuck here?” Thor asked, suddenly panicked.

Loki sucked in his bottom lip, brow pinched in thought. He stared at his own hands then, turning them over and clenching them into fists.

“No,” he said finally.

“Would you mind elaborating?” Thor said petulantly.

Loki looked at him, his brow pinched. “I think I know this place — this dimension.” He closed his eyes, his lips pressed together in concentration. “I’ve been here before.”

Realisation clicked for Thor then. The Astral Plane: a dimension only accessible by the spirit; where souls exist beyond the body. His brother’s soul, found adrift in the burned out Statesman...

“Your soul did not pass on to the afterlife,” Thor whispered, an old ache returning to him. “You came to this dimension instead.”

“A soul cannot truly exist within the Material Plane, but we are bound to it through a body.” Loki‘s gaze returned to Thor’s physical form. “Normally, once a body dies, without something to bind it to the realm of the living, the soul travels to the afterlife. And yet...”

“You lingered.”

“And yet, I lingered,” Loki echoed. “Do you remember what I told you about my death?”

“There was a blue light.”

“Yes, well, I have since remembered something else,” he said, a distant expression crossing his face. “Before handing over the Tesseract to Thanos…I drew in some of its energy.” His brow creased. “I intended to use the Tesseract’s power to imprison him inside a pocket dimension. I infused one of my blades with some of that power and tried to stab him.”

Thor suppressed a shudder, fighting back the memory of Loki gasping in Thanos’s grip.

“Obviously that...didn’t work,” Loki said, drifting away from Thor and turning his back to him. “I was dying. When the ship exploded, that should have been the end, but...but then I saw that blue light.”

He paused, head tilting to one side. His hair floated lazily around him. His hands held on to one another behind his back.

“It must have been the light of the Space Stone, the energy still within my body. Once my body was destroyed, it burst free.”

Thor massaged his chest, right where the scar tissue would be.

“My theory?” Loki continued, turning back to Thor. “The Space Stone’s energy, interdimensional by its very nature, sent my soul into the Astral Plane. I was able to exist, but without a body…” Loki shuddered, curling his arms around himself. “I could not return. I was withering away.”

A fierce protectiveness came over Thor. Loki seemed to be shrinking in on himself, a dark expression reflected in his eyes.

Thor said carefully, “Why did you not you tell me this earlier?”

“Being on death’s door tends to, ah, make the mind clouded,” Loki said drolly. “Even now, I have only managed to piece together so much.” He drew tighter into himself, shoulders arched with tension. “I imagine there will always be missing fragments.”

He gestured towards Thor’s real body then and made a strange movement with his fingers.

“But now, we are both tied to you.”

Thor looked down and did a double take. A flicker of gold illuminated near his ribs. He watched as a golden string materialised before him, snaking its way toward his physical body. The string connected to the centre of his chest. A moment later, another golden string interlaced with his own, meeting at his body. Thor’s eyes trailed back to Loki, who held his own string between his fingers, turning it over with a curious expression.

An awed breath left Thor’s lips. He knew in his heart that he and Loki were bound by fate, always had been. How else do two people from completely different realms find themselves as kin? But then there was _this_ : a tangible connection between the two of them, tying them both to the land of the living. There would be few people in the universe to experience something like this; to know a soul so intimately.

Loki had one hand on the string but his body was still curled inward, as if subconsciously protecting himself. One arm hugged his midsection while he trembled from some non-existent chill. Thor approached him and placed a comforting hand in the middle of his back. Loki released a heavy exhale. His shaking did not lessen.

“I am glad I found you,” Thor said gently. “Against all odds, I knew you were still out there.”

Loki gazed at him, conflicting emotions in his eyes. A flicker of affection passed through him.

“While I am grateful,” Loki whispered, “I do wonder about the future.”

“The future?”

Loki looped Thor’s golden string around his fingers. It did not hurt, but it was an odd feeling.

“How do you imagine this playing out?” Loki’s asked, one brow lifting quizzically. “The two of us trapped together in this body until the end of days.”

Thor grew instantly weary. He had given this some thought, but never reached a conclusion.

“Provided we don’t annoy each other to an early grave?” Thor said playfully.

A smirk graced Loki’s lips. “While you are _charming_ company, dear brother, I doubt I’ll be able to live like this for another four, five thousand years. In many ways you might be my sanctuary, but you are also my cage.”

The words stung. Sadness bloomed in Thor’s chest.

“Do you wish I had not found you?” Thor asked, dreading the response.

Loki chuckled mirthlessly, his eyes bright with emotion. He dropped his gaze and did not answer.

Instead, Loki said, “It is wondrous to see it.” He ran his thumbs over both strings carefully. “I assumed that my connection would be frayed, barely holding on to you, yet it is strong.” He pulled it forcefully to prove the point, making Thor wince. “It’s quite remarkable, really.”

Yet again, Thor did not know what to say. He needed Loki to understand that he was not some _prisoner_ , but the longer he looked at his brother, the more he realised just how trapped he truly was. While tied to Thor like this, there was no true freedom to be found.

He covered Loki’s hands with his own, feeling the warm buzz of the strings against his palms.

“If you want control of my—my _vessel_ on occasion, you need only ask.”

Loki looked up at him then, brows raised. “You changed your mind rather quick.”

“My body will not be your cage,” Thor said fiercely, releasing Loki’s hands and cradling either side of his neck instead. “We will find a way to make this work.”

Loki looked so defeated, though a pulse of hope rippled across them both. He leaned into Thor’s hands for a moment before pulling away, releasing their strings. They hung loose again, brushing against one another.

“Come,” Loki said, drifting back towards Thor’s physical form. “We should not linger.”

Thor clenched his fists, then followed.

 

\---

 

Sometime later, when the moon had risen and his brother had curled up to sleep, Thor found himself wondering:

Just how long had Loki been in the Astral Plane?

Their brief encounter with the Astral Plane today had lasted 10 minutes at most. While there, time passed so slowly in the Material Plane that seemingly no time had passed at all. After Thanos attacked them, Thor had not found Loki for over a week. How much time did that translate to in the Astral Plane? Had years passed? Had Loki spent a century or more in limbo? Is that how long he’d spent losing himself, his soul fraying away until hardly anything was left?

By the sounds of it, Loki did not remember much about his time in the Astral Plane, but Thor had seen the way he trembled today. Although he may not remember, it had shaken him to his core.

He had been sitting on the Sanctum stairwell for hours, helplessness building inside him. In need of a release, he crushed his fist through the already broken steps. Loki twitched beneath his ribs, stirring from the outburst, but Thor soothed him with with a wave of warmth. His brother returned to sleep moments later.

Thor should have looked for him sooner. Blame twisted nauseatingly in his gut.

What if he had heeded Bruce’s advice? If he’d never looked for him, he would have never known how deeply Loki suffered, and that horrified him even more.

Thor rested his face in his hands. All his energy had been spent trying to open the Quantum Realm today with no such luck. The energy required to open it was immense, perhaps more than they could channel. They were going to attempt it again tomorrow, so he really should rest, yet sleep evaded him.

As a distraction, Thor dug into his bag. His hand closed around his phone, which he had shoved in his bag before leaving Avengers HQ. Since then, he hadn’t given it a second glance. It didn’t turn on, so he very carefully jolted it awake with a spark of electricity.

He had eight missed calls and 22 text messages. Most of them were from Rocket and Bruce, though a handful had come from Natasha and Tony. Steve hadn’t sent him any, though he supposed Steve was just as out of touch with technology as Thor was.

He smiled to himself, reading through Rocket’s comical threats and Bruce’s increasingly panicked questions as to his whereabouts. It was reassuring to know his friends were looking out for him. He would have to call them tomorrow.

He tossed the phone back into his bag and heard a metallic _thunk_. Thor frowned, reaching in and grasping around the very bottom. His hand closed around a small object, the surface cool to the touch.

Thor exhaled in wonder as he pulled out the object: it was the tin box he’d grabbed from Sakaar. It had been in his bag for weeks now, so there were new scratches and dents. After a minute’s deliberation, he pried open the lid.

Coiled neatly inside was Loki’s braid, that single lock of hair once woven with his own. He’d forgotten that it was in here. He ran a thumb over it softly, reverently. This was the last physical piece of Loki that remained. The rest of his body had been eradicated by the Power Stone.

As Thor sat there in the darkness, an intriguing thought came to mind; a possibility that he was willing to entertain.

Without disturbing his brother, Thor blended into Loki’s plane, finding himself in the center of Asgard’s library. Bookshelves towered over him, ascending all the way to the ceiling, lit up by the enchanted candles that danced through the air.

If he looked hard enough, there just might be an answer.

 

\---

 

_Thor, I want answers._

“I told you already,” Thor said cheerfully. “It’s a surprise!”

He marched across the roof of the Sanctum, the lights of New York so bright it seemed like it was the middle of the day, except the sun had set a few hours ago. His bag was swung over one shoulder, rattling with fresh supplies of food and drink.

It had been a few days since they first tried to enter the Quantum Realm. They still had no success. Thor’s body was achingly tired but a wide smile lifted his face. As far as Thor was concerned, they had spent enough time at the Sanctum. It was time for a change of scenery. He had a few destinations in mind. He had told Loki none of them.

“You love surprises, remember?”

 _I hate surprises._ Loki’s response was so sullen it almost made Thor laugh, but he clamped it down.

“Then have a little faith in me,” Thor said with a grin. He swung Stormbreaker back and forth, stretching out his stiff muscles. “You will enjoy this, I promise.”

 _Thor,_ Loki said warningly, _tell me where we’re going. We are still no closer to entering the Quantum Realm, yet you wish to leave. What are you plotting?_

“Plotting is your area of expertise, not mine,” Thor said. “Now, if you stop complaining, I can show you where we’re going.”

 _I do not want you to_ show _me! I want you to—_

Thor had heard enough, and with a cheeky grin still spread across his cheeks, he thrust Stormbreaker toward the sky. The Bifröst engulfed him, the power summoned like second nature to him now. They soared to the cosmos.

Loki unleashed a string of curses and threats as they were propelled through the stars, surrounded by the Bifröst’s shimmering colours and radiant beauty. Goosebumps danced across Thor’s skin, adrenaline coursing through his veins. Thor allowed his excitement to wash over Loki’s soul and eventually his brother’s loud discontent quietened to a dull simmer.

It wasn’t long before their journey ended. His feet met with muddy earth, the Bifröst burning its mark into the ground and singeing the nearby plants. Thor gazed at the sky and was met with a tiny sun and two enormous moons. The gravity pushed down heavily on this planet, but it was easy enough for Thor to withstand.

The sky was streaked in golds and purples, one moon a pale white, the other a soft pink. Trees with crimson leaves bared large yellow apples, hanging heavy on sturdy white branches. The air was wonderfully clean and crisp, nothing like the smog that blanketed New York.

Thor stood there for a moment, marveling at the scenery. Loki was silent, then finally said:

_Álfheimr._

“It’s been a while.”

_The last time we were here, we slew an enormous lizard and claimed its scales as our prize._

“You fashioned a necklace for Mother as penance for us coming here.”

 _Yes, we promised we were only going to visit Vanaheimr,_ Loki said, amusement lacing his words, _and returned with cuts and bruises from a 12-foot reptile._

Thor chuckled. “She was not happy with us...though she did wear that necklace often.”

He took several steps across the soft ground, boots squelching in the damp soil. A number of smaller lizards scattered at his approach, slipping between long blades of grass. Thor peered across the landscape, eyes scanning, searching, but could not find what he had come here for.

_Where are we going now?_

“For a flight,” Thor replied, starting to spin Stormbreaker once more.

_Where to?_

“I don’t know yet. It might take a while until—”

_Might I take charge then?_

Thor froze, thrown off by the request. He stopped so suddenly he nearly smacked himself in the head with his axe.

“ _You_ want to take control? You wish to fly?”

 _Yes._ Although Loki was trying to suppress it, excitement was bubbling within him. _For a change of pace, perhaps?_

“You’ve never flown before.”

 _And_ you _had never opened a portal to another dimension before. This has been a week of experimentation — why stop now?_

Thor scrubbed a hand anxiously over his chin. A thousand different reasons to _not_ let Loki do this sat on the tip of his tongue, but he had promised his brother that, if he were to ask, Thor would lend him have control of his vessel. Now, if he were to refuse…

“Brother, let this speak for my _monumental_ amount of trust in you,” Thor began wearily. “I will let you do this, but—”

In a blink, Thor was thrust into the backseat of his own body. He landed on the balcony linked to his bedchamber, Asgard’s brilliant blue skies shining down on him. Disoriented, Thor staggered to his feet, catching the balustrade for balance. The ease with which Loki had taken control was alarming, and for a moment, Thor had no idea what Loki was up to, for he could only see Asgard. He attempted to slip back into Álfheimr but found himself blocked.

“Loki!” Thor cried out, immediately regretting his decision.

His brother’s amusement wrapped around him, which irritated Thor further, but then something soothing bled into his soul. He released an exhale and his eyes slipped shut, and from one moment to the next, he could see Álfheimr once more.

It was like peering out at the world through a set of goggles, his peripheries blocked out by white light. He tried to turn his head but was unable to, his gaze permanently fixed on the low hanging apples of the red and white trees. He watched, mildly horrified, as his arm extended toward the fruit and plucked one from the tree, completely without his say so. He felt his teeth sink into the apple, experiencing a suppressed taste of the juice’s sweetness. A pleased hum vibrated in his throat.

“I’d forgotten what it was like,” he heard himself say, “to actually _eat_.”

The words echoed strangely, his brother’s voice carrying like a whisper over the top.

_Loki?_

“It’s all right, Thor,” his voice said again, still frustratingly amused. “You’ll get used to it, I assure you.”

_Being co-pilot to my own body?_

Loki chuckled and then looked at Stormbreaker, testing his grip on the handle. “Oh, I have _always_ wanted to try this.”

_Please do not kill us._

“You really can’t help but underestimate me, can you?” Loki said, then began to swing Stormbreaker.

As his brother swung the axe faster and faster, Thor took a moment to say a prayer to Odin, Frigga, the Norns, _any_ of the gods of the Nine Realms that were listening. When Loki finally thrust them into the air, Thor yelped and braced himself (which wasn’t something he could actually do, since _he had no control over his own body)._

In an instant, he was high above the treeline, their shared vision becoming nothing but vibrant sky. Loki looked down then — which terrified Thor — to watch the trees shrink beneath them, the landscape blanketed in crimson foliage. He turned in the direction of the sun, still high in the sky but only close enough to light the world in an afternoon glow. With a joyous laugh, Loki thrust Stormbreaker in that direction and they shot forward.

The rich world of Álfheimr, the colours always blindingly bright and so different to all the other realms, was a blur beneath them. Loki was grinning hard, his teeth turning cold, but he did not care. Once the forest began to thin, he flew over giant reptiles, including a couple of the enormous lizards that armoured themselves with incandescent scales. Loki flew further to the east towards a herd of rhinoceroses then, their leather bodies rippling with each step of their powerful, muscled legs. Inexplicably, Loki ducked down, flying almost at eye level with the large beasts.

 _What are you doing?_ Thor demanded.

Loki then weaved in front of the rhinos, eliciting cries of alarm. Some of the largest rhinos, ones that wielded the biggest horns, bellowed a mighty roar and charged towards him.

_Loki, get away!_

Loki flew just beyond the creatures, enough to draw them into the chase but never too close as to risk injury. On and on he flew, the rhinos stomping after him.

Eventually, in the distance, Loki spotted a sparkle of water. He increased his speed, soaring far beyond their reach and left them in the dust. He flew over the edge of a cliff, revealing an enormous green ocean. The tide was rough, constantly violent with the pull of the moons. Naturally, Loki dove for the water.

 _What are you doing, Loki?!_ Thor shouted yet again.

Loki just kept _smiling._

He weaved between the waves, tracing his fingers across the surface of the water. The ocean was far colder than any of the rivers of Asgard, but the ripples his brother left behind danced across the surface, curving into interesting patterns. It was almost like an artwork, only it was to be erased quickly by the wild waves.

Then, just to _really_ scare the life out of Thor, Loki plunged beneath the surface.

 _Are you mad?!_ Thor thrashed helplessly, the water unfathomably cold. _You really ARE trying to kill us!_

Loki released a laugh, the sound forming a chorus of bubbles. His joy was so immense that it left Thor winded.

Thor knew then, well and truly, that his brother had been a caged bird for far too long. He needed to give this to him; to allow him to spread his wings. With concentrated effort, Thor let go of his panic and chose to trust in Loki completely. Loki would not allow harm to come to them.

Sure enough, once his lungs began to protest, Loki broke the surface, the wind bitingly cold against his damp skin. He aimed for a flock of birds that, as they flew closer, appeared to be enormous cranes. Loki swooped past them before landing gracefully on one of their feathered backs. The crane did not notice him since he was minuscule by comparison, like an insect.

With a deep gulp of air, Loki sat and leaned back on his hands. Stormbreaker rested beside him on the soft, white feathers. He was panting, his mouth dry, so he tugged the backpack off his shoulder.

 _Our supplies are wet_ , Thor grumbled.

With a flick of his wrist and a puff of magic, the bag was dry again.

“Still underestimating me, I see.”

Thor huffed a laugh. _Never._

Loki hummed before procuring water from the bag and draining the entire thing in one go. He lounged on the crane, breathing steadily until his pulse calmed again. His eyes slipped shut, so Thor could see nothing but darkness, but he still felt the wind brushing against his cool skin.

“I don’t say this often, but…” came his brother’s voice from behind him.

Thor managed not to jump in surprise. He blinked twice, clearing his vision of Álfheimr, and found Loki on the balcony beside him, leaning his elbows on the balustrade. He was close enough for their shoulders to touch, though Loki faced forward, his eyes almost golden in the sunlight.

“You don’t say what?” Thor asked.

The corner of Loki’s mouth quirked. He hunched in on himself for a moment, then turned to meet Thor’s stare.

“Thank you, brother.”

Thor’s face lit up in a smile. Loki returned it, his gaze remarkably affectionate.

“You’re welcome, brother.”

 

\---

 

Thor was content for Loki to enjoy himself a little longer, to feel the warmth of the sun and the chill in the air. The cranes remained oblivious to his presence, carrying him for miles and miles, occasionally calling out to other members of their flock. However, as nightfall approached, Thor took control of his body once again. Loki masked it well, but a melancholy swept over him as he returned to the other plane, alone with only his memories of Asgard.

Thor knew better than to try and console him, so he focused on the task at hand. He was looking for a specific type of plant, one that could be easily seen once the sun went down. Sure enough, as the cranes began their dissent towards the shallow waters to rest for the evening, he could see pearly white lights beginning to illuminate on the outskirts of the forest.

Stormbreaker lifted him into the air, earning him a series of indignants squawks from the cranes. Thor made a beeline for the lights, jogging across the grass as soon as he landed. Trails of glittering fireflies led his way into the forest, their bodies alight with a vibrant blue. The fireflies chirped their strange little songs, sounding almost like the tinkling of wind chimes.

Finally, Thor came to a stop, almost blinded by a crop of glowing flowers. They were unspeakably beautiful, a beacon in the night, swaying gently with the mild breeze. Thor released an awed exhale. Loki peered curiously through Thor’s eyes.

_I have never seen an Everlast in person._

“Neither have I,” Thor whispered. He was compelled to keep quiet, like his voice might disturb them.

Thor knelt beside one of the Everlasts. He ran his fingers over the stem, assessing its strength and vitality. The petals were smooth beneath his touch, leaving a mark of creamy dust on his fingertips. It shone like tiny diamonds.

This one would do.

_Thor...what are you doing?_

Thor said nothing as he began to dig away the damp earth. He took great care around the roots. As he dug deeper, he began to feel it: the Everlast’s heartbeat.

His hands trembled as he closed around the very bottom of the roots. He delicately scooped the plant out of the ground, inhaling sharply when he finally saw his prize: a large beating heart entangled with the flower. Its scent was powerful, rich with soil, and the glowing white heart pulsed in his hands without pause. He gazed at it in wonder, momentarily speechless.

_I understand why we’re here now._

Thor kept a hold of the heart with one hand and tugged his bag off his shoulder. He dug inside and found a large mason jar, the glass coated in a special kind of oil, one that he prepared before they left for Álfheimr. He slipped the Everlast into the jar, sealing it shut. It continued to glow magnificently, creating a warped light through the glass that refracted across Thor’s arms.

_Brother, we must have words._

Once the jar was secured in the bag, Thor melded into Loki’s realm. He opened his eyes to the courtyard, surrounded by his mother’s gardens. Loki stood under their tree, watching him with an accusatory stare.

“I know what you seek to do,” he said. He was not angry, but his voice trembled just slightly. “Thor, what you are attempting to do...it’s forbidden.”

“Loki, listen—”

“You are dealing in _necromancy_ ,” Loki hissed. “Anyone with even the _slightest_ inclination towards seiðr _knows_ that this is a ritual of black magic.”

Thor crossed his arms over his chest and said nothing.

“Thor, stop this,” Loki said, taking a step forward. His voice was almost pleading. “You know not what you seek to accomplish.”

Thor lifted a brow. “Are you underestimating me, brother?”

“This is no joke!” Loki snapped, his teeth bared. “I know that—that you are doing this out of sentiment, out of _love_ for me, but this is _necromancy!”_

“Is it?” Thor tilted his head to the side, ready for Loki’s inquisition. “Necromancy deals with the dead, does it not?”

“Yes, which is exactly why—!”

“You stand before me now, very much alive.”

Loki paused, caught off guard, but quickly resumed. “My body was _destroyed_ , Thor!”

“But your soul remains,” Thor said, the hint of a smile forming on his lips. “I read about the ritual, Loki. I spent many hours studying it, looking for the loophole, the one thing that will make this ritual all for nought.” Thor unfolded his arms, lifting them in supplication. “But I could not find anything.”

“You must not have looked hard enough,” Loki growled.

Thor shook his head, his smile widening. “The ritual is quite remarkable,” he said. “At the core of it, this is a powerful healing spell. What makes it necromancy is to revive the dead, to drag a soul back from the afterlife.”

He closed the space between them, placing one hand on each of Loki’s shoulders. When Thor opened his mouth to speak, the words unexpectedly died on tongue. Here, beneath their tree, the dappled moonlight formed beautiful, intricate patterns across his brother’s face. Like the entrancing glow of the Everlast, Thor was awed into silence.

A beat, and then Thor frowned and shook himself.

“But you never crossed over, Loki. Don’t you see?” He squeezed his shoulders imploringly. “This will create a body as living and breathing as my own, crafted completely in your image.”

Loki looked away, something like despair and hope twisting inside him. “Thor, this is madness.”

“Is it?” Thor said, trying to catch his eye.

“It’s _forbidden_.”

“Has that ever stopped us before?”

Loki sighed, turning a glare on Thor. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“You are being _terribly_ convincing,” Loki said, brushing past Thor and out of his reach, “and you need to _stop it._ ”

Thor grinned at the back of Loki’s head. “I have not convinced you of anything, Loki. You’re just starting to see reason.”

Loki threw his hands in the air, turning back to Thor with a wild look in his eyes. “Thor, are we not trying to access a time vortex? I intend to use _that_ as an opportunity to restore my body.”

“Ah, yes, messing with time to resurrect your body,” Thor said with a smirk. “Now _that_ is the safer option.”

Loki took two long strides and jabbed Thor in the chest with his finger.

“Hey!”

“Even if I _am_ on board with this plan,” Loki said, his words dangerously low, “did you not read the entirety of the ritual, brother? One of the ingredients required is two handfuls of earth from the place of my birth.” He gestured around them pointedly. “In case you have forgotten, Asgard was _obliterated_.”

Nerves leapt into Thor’s throat but he took a deep breath, swallowing down his anxiety. He knew that this was coming; this truth would come out one way or another.

So, as gently as possible, Thor said, “We do not need the earth of Asgard, Loki.”

“Oh, so just any soil will do?” Loki said in exasperation. “The earth of Midgard, perhaps?”

“Not Midgard, either.”

“Then where in the Nine Realms do we find what we need?” Loki asked impatiently, his arms crossed.

“What we need,” Thor said, hesitating for only a moment, “is on Jötunheimr.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Do you fancy yourself a comedian, brother?”

Thor hung his head, cupping the back of his own neck and dragging his fingers along the muscles. This conversation was not going to be an easy one, but he would have courage. Loki needed to know.

“No, Loki,” Thor said calmly. “I would not joke about something like this.”

“So why Jötunheimr?” Loki asked with a scowl. “ _Vanaheimr_ I could understand, for in many ways she is a sister of Asgard, but Jötunheimr…it offers us nothing, Thor. It is but a frozen _moor_.”

“Loki, this is going to be difficult for you to hear,” Thor said, meeting Loki’s incredulous expression head on, “but you are not Aesir.”

Loki stared. “I beg your pardon?”

“You are Asgardian in every way that counts,” Thor assured him, reaching out to Loki despite the distance between them. “But you were not born on Asgard, brother. You were born on Jötunheimr.”

Loki was silent, then he barked a laugh.

“And so the plot thickens!” Loki crowed, beginning a leisurely walk around Thor, circling him. “Go on, then. Continue your intriguing tale.”

“You are a Frost Giant, Loki. You are Jötunn.” He tracked Loki’s movements, turning in place. “You are the biological child of Laufey.”

“Oh, so I am a _prince_ of Jötunheimr, too? Fascinating!” Loki said sardonically. “I suppose next you’ll tell me that I’m actually the God of Winter?”

“I am not lying to you, Loki,” Thor said slowly. “I would not lie about something like this. Look inside my soul, brother, and you will only see honesty.”

Loki growled and rounded on Thor. “You may have convinced yourself of this, but you will not convince _me_.”

Thor raised his hands helplessly. “I implore you, brother—”

“By your account, we are not brothers at all,” Loki said sharply.

“No, you are my _family!”_ Thor said, grabbing Loki’s shoulders. Loki tried to wrench himself away, but Thor clung on desperately. “We are brothers. The differences in our blood matter _nothing_ to me!”

“Release me, you imbecile!” Loki shoved him away, nearly knocking Thor to the ground. “You _dare_ throw me in with the Frost Giants, then claim me as kin in the same breath?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Thor said fiercely. “Yes, Loki. You are my family. Nothing will ever change that.”

Loki’s fingers flexed at his sides as if he wanted to cast a spell, or perhaps throttle him, but he did neither.

“Fine,” Loki said with an unpleasant sneer, “then let us go to Jötunheimr. If what you say is true, the ritual will work using the soil from that dying wasteland.” He tilted his chin up, looking down his nose. “Prove it, Thor. Prove that I am the monster you claim me to be.”

“I can prove that you are Jötunn,” Thor said, his lips pressed thin, “but you are no monster, Loki.”

Loki quirked a brow at that.

“We shall see, _brother_. We shall see.”

 

\---

 

Thor landed on Jötunheimr and was met with a fierce, howling wind. It bit into his skin, the snow stinging his cheeks pink. The sky was a steel grey, clouds smothering any hope of sunlight. The world was absent of any life, the landscape made of mountains, frozen lakes and thick snow.

He gritted his teeth against the cold and wrapped himself in his cloak, careful to protect his exposed hands from frostbite. The material was much too thin, but it would have to do. His heart was pounding, forcing blood to his extremities. He squinted against the wind, debating whether to take to the air with Stormbreaker, but then he would be soaring right into the wild winds. It would be unbearably cold, even more than it was on land.

As Thor began his journey on foot across this dying planet, his eyes darted in all directions, on guard for the first sign of Frost Giants. He had no need to approach any of their cities or towns, so it was unlikely he would encounter any of them. However, the Bifröst was like a beacon against the dark sky and would likely turn more than a few heads. He must move quickly.

Loki was watching silently as well, his cheery mood left behind on Álfheimr. Thor wished he could have avoided telling him, but maybe, just _maybe_ , it was better that he learn the truth from Thor, rather than be bombarded by the memories that sent him off the edge of the Rainbow Bridge. In time, Thor would tell him everything, but his heritage will do for now. Loki’s mood was volatile enough. Thor could feel every shifting emotion within his brother, his confusion and outrage so potent as to leave Thor light-headed.

On and on he marched, boots crunching through the snow. His cloak billowed around him, the force of the wind almost enough to push him backwards. It hurt to breathe, his lungs aching from the cold. His throat was far too dry, but the water in his bag had frozen solid.

He walked for miles. As he came to the edge of an incline, he looked at the landscape below and felt his stomach twist.

The snow was parted by a wide crevasse, revealing blackened earth beneath. The crevasse stretched into the horizon beyond Thor’s vision, cleaving the world in two. It cut so deep that pits of lava had sprung free from the deepest layers of earth. Steam climbed to the surface in thick white clouds.

He had wondered what happened to Jötunheimr after Loki attacked with the Bifröst. It seemed that this was the result: much of the land rendered completely unlivable. Loki maintained his silence as he had for their journey thus far, but curiosity stirred in him as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing.

Thor slid down the hill toward the blackened ground, gathering a handful of the soil. It was dreadfully dry, lifeless. It would not work.

Thor had been traveling for a couple of hours now and he did not want to linger any longer. He braced himself before swinging Stormbreaker, carrying himself into the freezing gale above. The wind roared to a deafening degree and every inch of his skin screamed in protest whether it was covered or not. He raced through the air, squinting through the layers of snow to the ground. It took some time, but the wind began to lessen just a little, and he finally saw something promising.

Thor landed beside a river and approached the edge. The water was unnaturally blue, almost luminescent. Strangely enough, it had not frozen over.

 _The River Ífingr_ , Loki supplied, his voice quiet and distant. _The only river in Jötunheimr to withstand the touch of winter._

There were schools of fish just below the surface, alien-like with their multiple antennas and enormous, bulging eyes. Spots began to glow across their scales at Thor’s approach, and he supposed if he was a predator, the light might serve as a warning. He ignored the fish, tossed his cloak over his shoulder and mentally prepared himself.

He shoved a hand into the water, hissing at the ache in his bones. He scooped some of the earth hidden beneath the river rocks. Thor brushed a thumb over the soil, assessing it, and found tiny crabs creeping through it. They were picking at the soil, eating microscopic creatures. Triumph rose in Thor’s chest.

With difficulty, fighting the frostbite gnawing at his fingers, Thor placed two large handfuls of soil into another jar. He gritted his teeth and tried to turn the lid, but his fingers would not bend.

A shudder ran through his arm and seiðr erupted around his hand, caressing the skin with warmth. Thor sighed, the sound drowned out by the wind and rushing water. Movement returned to his fingers, allowing him to finally secure the lid.

“Thank you, Loki.”

 _It’s time to go,_ he replied stiffly.

With a nod, Thor got to his feet. “One last stop now. I suppose you know where we’re headed.”

_Indeed._

And with that, Thor took to the stars.

 

\---

 

When the energy of the Bifröst settled, Thor lifted his gaze to the world of Niflheimr for the first time. It was an eerie place, the rocky, jagged landscape blanketed in mist. It was beautiful in a strange, mysterious way. Thor knew that, regardless of this land’s appearances, the gateway to Hel existed somewhere close by; a former prison for their sister. His skin prickled, the wind whispering across the back of his neck.

“We must find Hvergelmir,” Thor murmured. It was the origin of life: the living spring that connects all rivers of the Nine Realms.

_Then I suggest you look up._

Thor did. “Where...?”

But upon closer inspection, he saw it: an enormous, thick white tree root ensnared the top of a mountain and curled up to the sky, disappearing through the clouds. It was semi-transparent, enough to blend in with the rest of the landscape, but the phantom silhouette could be seen if one looked hard enough.

“Yggdrasil,” Thor exhaled.

His eyes were wide with childish wonder, the breath stolen from his lungs. Yggdrasil was impossibly large, her bark patterned with smooth, curling ridges.

 _We will find Hvergelmir at the base of her roots,_ Loki said, sounding just as entranced as Thor. _Now, keep an eye out for Níðhöggr, won’t you?_

Thor jerked out of his trance. “The dragon? Do you think he still lives?”

_Well, ideally? No._

Thor’s excitement grew. To see Yggdrasil _and_ potentially fight a mighty dragon—

_Focus, Thor._

“Right.” Thor nodded firmly. “Focus.”

Although he could not see him, he felt Loki roll his eyes.

Thor flew to the base of Yggdrasil, landing beneath her at the very top of the mountain. There was a refreshing smell in the air, something clean like a rainforest. A few feet ahead lay Hvergelmir, a bubbling spring wide enough to cover almost the entirety of the mountaintop. Yggdrasil drank greedily from the well, but the water was limitless and would sustain her until the end of days.

Thor crouched by the water and drew his finger across the surface. Unlike the River Ífingr, Hvergelmir was a hot spring. It dragged its heat from the center of the planet, perhaps from the fires of Hel itself.  He pulled the last jar from his bag and filled it to the brim. Even once sealed inside, the water continued to bubble and boil, the jar growing delightfully warm in Thor’s hands.

_We have everything we need._

“Yes,” Thor said with a grin. “Time to head home.”

But then Thor paused — it was the first time he had referred to Earth as his home. The first time he had vocalised it, anyway. He was uncertain whether the word felt right on his tongue. He expected Loki to make some scathing remark, but his brother said nothing. His mind seemed to be elsewhere, potentially back to the subject of his lineage if his shifting emotions were any indication. Thor sent a soothing emotion to Loki, but his brother seemed to shrug it off.

Suddenly, in the distance, there was an angry roar and the unmistakable sound of large, leathery wings.

_Thor._

“Can I at least _see_ him before we go?” Thor protested, eyes scanning for any sign of Níðhöggr.

_No._

Thor sighed sadly.

 

\---

 

At long last, the familiar sight of the Avengers Facility greeted him. It was late at night, only a few of the windows lit up from within. The weather was pleasant, neither hot nor cold, and the scent of freshly cut grass lingered in the air. Thor released a long, relieved exhale.

Despite his dramatic entrance through the Bifröst, no one stirred at Thor’s arrival. FRIDAY greeted him, of course, but everyone else likely slept. He assumed that the only person possibly awake would be Tony or Rocket, but neither crossed his path on the way to his room. Thor was rather grateful for that. He was not in a social mood.

There was but one last important task for him to complete, then he intended to sleep for a week.

The air of his room was somewhat stale but nevertheless comforting. With Stormbreaker still in hand, he set his feet shoulder width apart and placed both hands on the handle.

“Will you help me?” Thor asked.

Loki was equally exhausted, had barely spoken a word for hours now, but he replied.

_What do you need?_

“Not long ago, you mentioned something about a pocket dimension, that such a thing could be created. Perhaps it would be best to conduct the ritual within such a dimension.”

_Thor, at some point you must learn to open these gateways yourself. You cannot lean on me forever._

“You are right,” Thor acknowledged, “but we are both in need of rest. Let’s get this done quickly, shall we?”

In lieu of an answer, Loki offered his magic to Thor, his presence curling around him. With practiced movements, a new gateway was opened, a pale white light shining through. Thor squinted against the light as he ducked through the portal.

A profound sense of déjà vu came over him. His footsteps echoed as he explored this latest dimension, a small space made entirely of white emptiness. It was like the canvas he found Loki’s soul in before he had painted it in the likeness of Asgard. He would have to contemplate this discovery later. His mind was far too sluggish and he had more important things to tend to.

Thor crouched and placed the jars on the ground before him. The Everlast’s heart was still beating as strongly as ever, its petals seeming to shine brighter while in close proximity to the other two jars. Similarly, the water was still bubbling away, the jar hot against Thor’s palms.

He swallowed, nerves getting the best of him all of a sudden.

What if this didn’t work?

Thor shook his head, dismissing the idea quickly. He dug a large wooden bowl out of his bag that he had snatched from the New York Sanctum. Hopefully no one would notice its disappearance.

Everything was ready. Loki was watching like a hawk, his presence somewhat unnerving, but Thor took a moment to steady himself and inhaled a long, calming breath.

And so Thor began.

First came the Everlast, placed carefully inside the bowl.

He intoned, “From this plant, may your roots serve as the foundations for this body.”

Then came the soil, which he spread over the roots, covering the heart in a protective layer.

“From this earth, may you form the flesh to house the spirit.”

Finally came the water, which Thor poured into the bowl, filling it to the brim.

“From this spring, may you flood this body and give it life.”

Thor took a deep breath, his gaze lingering on the petals. They were blindingly bright, unfolding further in a dazzling display. The magic was working but there was one last step. Thor found the edges of the small box inside his pocket. With trembling hands, he popped open the lid to reveal his brother’s braid.

 _So sentimental_ , Loki chided, and perhaps it was meant to be mocking, but an unnamable emotion passed between them: something gentle, something sweet.

Thor placed the braid on top of the soil, the water seeping into the hair. Thor inhaled, his throat suddenly tight.

He swallowed and said, “I name you Loki Odinson.”

Thor registered his brother’s gasp before everything happened at once: light exploded from the flower, a force that threw Thor backwards. He landed hard on his side, the ground trembling beneath him. He tried to push himself up but the wave of magic pinned him in place. He watched as the water burst from the bowl, ensnaring the flower entirely in a large, rippling orb. There was far more water now than what he had taken from Niflheimr, the orb somehow bigger than Thor. The soil began to spread inside the water, forming a vaguely humanoid silhouette. The heart thundered, the beats causing waves to wash across the surface of the orb, droplets pattering on the ground beneath.

The magic eased enough for Thor to clamber to his feet. He was shaking, eyes wide and unblinking. Thor approached the orb slowly, bracing himself for another blast of magic. The heart continued to pulse but its ferocity lessened, and as Thor squinted through the shifting waters, he saw that it had drifted to the left side of what would become his brother’s chest. The roots were extending to form Loki’s veins and build up the shapes of his lungs, his brain, his stomach. The earth would likewise come together to form every bone and muscle in his brother’s body, eventually creating the final layer of skin in Loki’s exact image.

Then he saw Loki’s braid, already affixed to where his head would be, strands of black hair beginning to bloom on the outline of his scalp. A tear slipped down Thor’s cheek. His joy flooded through him, his happiness enough to drown him.

_It worked._

“Yes,” Thor choked out, another tear running down his face. “It worked, Loki. It will take time, but in a few days, your body will be complete. You will be born anew.”

He shifted into Loki’s plane then, greeted by the usual sight of the library. He was ready to run to Loki and embrace him, but he stopped as soon as he saw his brother’s face.

Loki’s hand was pressed to the centre of his chest, the other leaning on the table for support. His skin was pale beneath the candlelight and the muscle in his jaw jumped. His brow was pinched, his lips forming a hard line.

“It worked,” Loki repeated. A dark emotion was churning inside him.

“Yes,” Thor said with uncertainty, “yet you seem unhappy.”

Loki released a shaky exhale and looked into Thor’s eyes. “The earth of Jötunheimr worked.”

Pain was warring inside Loki, a whirlwind of emotion that nearly knocked Thor over. Thor chewed his lip, hands clenching at his sides.

“Yes, it did.”

“So it’s true,” Loki said, his eyes bright. “I am Jötunn.”

“I—yes, Loki, you—”

“I don’t understand.”

Thor took a step closer. “Loki, listen—”

“ _No.”_

Thor paused, watching Loki carefully. “Brother—”

“That’s not what we are, Thor.”

“Of course we are!” Thor said defensively. “We are brothers, and I will say it as often as you need me to. _We are family.”_

“But not by blood.”

“To Hel with blood!” Thor strode closer but Loki backed up, keeping several feet between them. “I do not care about your blood, nor my own.”

“I carry Laufey’s blood,” Loki hissed. “The blood of a Frost Giant will soon pulse through that vessel you created.”

“It will,” Thor said, his gaze firm. “And then my brother will be by my side once more.”

Loki barked a laugh, the sound a broken thing. Suddenly, he cried out and thrusted his hands towards the ground, unleashing a wave of seiðr. Books flew off the shelves, thrown high into the air. Pages were torn from spines and whipped around them like a cyclone. The table was upended and the chairs crashed into the walls, knocking paintings onto the ground. The candelabra clattered loudly on the wooden floor, its rainbow flames dying out instantly.

Thor breathed softly, allowing something calm and reassuring to bleed from his soul to Loki’s. Loki would have none of it, however, and pushed the emotion aside. He set narrowed eyes on Thor, his jaw clenched.

“Leave me.”

“Loki…”

Loki turned his back on him, arms folded across his torso. Thor could see the tremor in his shoulders.

_“Leave me.”_

Thor dropped his chin to his chest, his eyes slipping closed. His fingernails carved deep into his palms.

“As you wish.”

A moment later, Thor’s gaze was fixed on the orb and the body that was slowly growing within it.

Loki had closed himself off, smothering the connection between them as much as he was able. It was the first time in weeks that Thor could not feel the shifting of his brother’s soul beneath his ribs. Thor massaged the scar on his chest, comforted by the raised skin. He bit the inside of his cheek and tasted blood.

He placed his palm against the orb then, watching as his handprint rippled across the watery surface. The petals of the Everlast had formed a halo around the shape of Loki’s head. The caustic light danced across Thor’s skin. His eyes tracked along the roots and down to his brother’s torso where a ribcage was being built slowly but surely.

He watched the beat of his brother’s heart for a long time.

 

\---

 

Agony, pure and raw and like _nothing_ he had experienced before, ripped Thor from sleep a couple of hours later. He jerked upright, choking for air. His fingers clung desperately to his shirt. Thor could feel his scar burning through the layer of fabric.

Loki was thrashing. Anguish and fury and a thousand emotions assaulted Thor relentlessly. The force was enough to split his chest open, could burn him from the inside out. Thor scrunched his face in pain, doubling over, sweat beading on his forehead.

_“Loki!”_

Instantly, the assault ceased. Loki had thrown up his walls again, severing any connection between them. Only a numbness remained, the ghost of his brother’s anguish lingering in the empty space inside him. Thor gulped oxygen down rapidly but his lungs could make no use of it. He choked out a sob, his eyes damp, but no tears would fall.

“Loki?” he said into the silence. “Are you with me, brother?”

Nothing.

Thor’s hands were trembling. He had ripped a hole through his shirt, the cool air brushing against his searing scar.

Once his breathing had steadied, Thor mentally braced himself for what lied in store for him. He closed his eyes and shifted into Loki’s plane.

The library was in a worse state than he last saw it. The bookshelves had been broken apart completely, some of the tomes sporting burn marks from the enchanted candles that lay on top of them. Their lights were snuffed out now, plunging the library into darkness. The only source of light came from the round window high above. Everything was tinged in a bluish moonlight, casting long shadows across every corner of the room.

Dread settled in Thor’s gut. He took slow steps up each level of the library, following the trail of destruction. The ceiling had been splintered, broken wooden panels hanging low. A couple of pipes were exposed, water gushing onto the floor. Puddles were spreading and seeping into the books and furniture.

When he came to the top floor, Thor swallowed thickly. The bookshelf that once blocked that dark, yawning tunnel had been broken to pieces. A chilling breeze came from inside, eliciting goosebumps along his skin.

“Loki?” he whispered.

His brother was nowhere to be seen.

All of the books within lay open, their blank pages exposed to the ceiling. Thor tread carefully around them, venturing deeper into the tunnel. As he walked, though he did not touch any of the books, he could hear distant voices. They were warped, however, echoing along the tunnel walls. He could not make out what they said, only that one of the voices belonged to Loki. He recognised his father’s voice, his mother’s. He heard his own voice as well, his words often rising in anger.

After several minutes, he heard what must be Thanos’s voice. Like the others, he could not hear what he said, but the sound was deep and dangerous. Thor’s hands clenched hard enough to break skin.

The voices began to fall quiet, fading into the background. There was something up ahead, something bright. He squinted — was that daylight?

Suddenly, there was a presence behind him. Thor spun around in time to block a violent wave of seiðr. It was strong enough to push him back, but his feet dug into the ground to keep him upright.

“Thor!” Loki said, his smile mocking beneath a set of venomous eyes. He was adorned in his armour of green and gold, his horned helmet arching up to the ceiling. “How nice of you to visit.”

Thor lifted both hands in surrender. “Loki, I can explain.”

Loki chuckled. “Somehow, I doubt that.”

Between one blink and the next, Loki had closed the distance between them. He shoved another wave of magic into Thor’s stomach. Thor shouted as he was sent flying through the air, the cavern walls blurring past him until he was enveloped by light.

He landed on his back, blinking dazedly. There was fresh grass beneath him. An ocean breeze brushed his skin. Earth’s sun shone down through grey clouds.

Norway.

Thor tried to sit up but found his brother’s boot in the center of his chest. Loki leaned over him with a wide, dangerous smile.

“How long did you intend to hide this from me?” He forced his heel harder into Thor’s sternum.

“Until you were ready,” Thor gasped. “Your soul was broken apart, Loki, I—”

“Tell me,” he hissed, “ _why_ you hid this from me.”

“I—I was—” Thor winced, his ribs straining. “I was protecting you.”

A deranged laugh burst from Loki’s lips. “Oh, you should know better than to say that, _son of Odin_.”

Loki dragged him by his shirt into a sitting position, then shoved his hand against Thor’s gut and forced another pulse of magic into him. Thor was sent soaring again, this time over the edge of the cliff.

Thor cried out when he hit the water, the surface hard enough to split him in two. However, the water suddenly vanished, as if he had sunk through to the other side, and he kept on falling until he hit a golden floor.

Above him was an ostentation ceiling, crafted completely in solid gold. It was different to Asgard’s grandeur. Sakaar, he realised.

“The Allfather said the same thing to me,” Loki said, suddenly appearing nearby. He walked a circle around Thor as he spoke.

“What did he say?” Thor asked, scrambling to his feet.

“ _I was protecting you,_ ” Loki said, his voice lilting with mockery. “As if that explains hiding my heritage for over a millennia.”

“He and Mother were just—”

“ _Stop_ ,” Loki snarled. “I do not care for their mistakes. The only mistake that matters right now is yours.”

“All right,” Thor said, his hands raised once again in surrender. “All right, Loki.”

“I will ask you again,” Loki said. “Why did you hide this from me?”

“And I will say it again: I was protecting you.”

“You are _lying!”_

A blade materialised in his hand. He was on Thor then, forcing him back against a wall, the knife pressed into his throat.

“I speak the truth!” Thor said, wincing when the blade cut into his skin. A trickle of warm blood ran down his neck.

Loki leaned in closer, their noses almost touching. He enunciated slowly, “You wished to remake me.”

“What are you—?”

“You wished to bury these memories away deep inside,” Loki said. “You wished to cut away the unsightly parts of me, the ones that bring you shame, so that I may be born anew.”

“No!” Thor said in desperation. “That’s not true! I swear it, brother.”

Loki sneered. “Liar.”

He stepped away from Thor and kicked him square in the chest. The force was far stronger than it should be. Thor impacted right through the wall.

As he flew through the air, the world changed yet again. He saw the unmistakable structure of Heimdall’s Observatory before he crashed onto the Rainbow Bridge. Thor panted and stared up at Asgard’s sky, pitch black and dotted with stars.

Thor quickly got to his feet. Loki strode out from the Observatory. He twirled two knives in his hands, his cape billowing behind him. Thor settled into a fighting stance. He did not have Stormbreaker or the power of lightning in this place. His fists would have to do.

Loki hurled the first blade at him. Thor dodged.

Loki said, “You are so quick to say that you love me—”

“Because I do!”

“—but you only love the brother who lingered in your shadow.” He hurled the next blade at him.

Thor ducked to the side. “You’re wrong, Loki.”

“I stepped out of your shadow and you didn’t like what you saw.” Two more blades slid from his sleeves. “I was far too cunning for my own good, you thought. I had a taste for violence that you did not like. Once I stepped into the light, you did not recognise me anymore.”

Thor narrowly avoided the two blades sent in his direction. “Loki, these memories have twisted you. We put the past behind us, remember? This is not who you are.”

“On the contrary, dear brother,” Loki said, his eyes blazing, “I am _exactly_ who I’m supposed to be.”

A sharp kick came to the side of Thor’s head. He went careening off the edge of the bridge. Thor cried out, calling to Stormbreaker, to Mjölnir, but nothing came. He sank into darkness, shadows swirling around him, plunging into his eyes and mouth and ears, suffocating him until—

He smashed through a rooftop. Thor coughed violently, curling to his side. He opened his eyes to a reflective floor, fragments of the ceiling littered around him. He saw the faces of his family, the mural lying in pieces around him. The throne of Asgard sat just beyond his peripheries.

Loki landed a few feet away and stalked over to Thor. He swung a leg over and straddled Thor’s waist, pinning him in place. Thor struggled, attempting to headbutt him, but he pulled back out of the way. His brother’s helmet clattered on the floor beside them.

Loki bared his teeth. “Admit it.”

“Admit _what?”_ Thor growled, anger starting to churn inside him. “What would you have me say, Loki? What words will you force into my mouth?”

“Admit that you would have buried these secrets forever if you could have!” Loki shouted, spit flying in his face.

“That is not true! I told you that you were Jötunn!”

“That was unavoidable!” Loki lifted and slammed Thor’s skull hard against the tiles. “You only told me because of the ritual!”

Thor was too outraged to admit he was right about that part. He lurched forward and, with difficulty, Loki forced him back down. Thor gritted his teeth.

“I would have revealed it to you when I believed you ready.”

“And how long would that have taken, Thor? How long until you considered me as anything other than a weak, pitiful lamb in need of protection?” Loki cocked his head mockingly. “A hundred years? A thousand?”

“As always, you twist my words,” Thor growled. “Just look at yourself! You are consumed by your rage! You are consumed by the past!”

 _“I’m_ consumed by the past?” Loki laughed, his voice raw with anguish. “You denied me my memories, my _identity_ , out of fear. You would have been content to leave me ignorant forever. _No_ , Thor,” he said, before Thor could interrupt. “No, the truth is this: I am not the same person I was before your banishment. You just wish that I was.”

Thor stared at his brother in defiance, a thousand excuses on the tip of his tongue. Eventually, however, he deflated beneath him.

He and Loki adventuring together, reliving the glory days; simpler times, simpler joys. It had been all too easy to let the past stretch on forever.

Such a fool he had been.

“No denial.” Loki’s hands tightened in Thor’s shirt. “I see. And here I was under the impression we had moved forward.”

Guilt settled nauseatingly inside Thor. Loki inhaled shakily.

“When I came to Asgard’s aid, when I stood beside you as you were crowned King, when I...when I died at Thanos’s hand, was that not enough for you? Had I not proved that maybe, just _maybe_ , I would rather stand beside you than face you as my enemy? Am I truly so irredeemable in your eyes?”

“Loki, please, that isn’t—”

“Did you think, once I remembered everything, that I would forget my newfound loyalty to you?”

Thor stared at him in silence. In a whisper, he admitted, “Yes. But I was _wrong_ , Loki. I was so wrong.”

“Ah, so this is where we stand.” Fury returned to Loki’s voice once more. “You long for the brother that pined for your attention; the one who followed you around dutifully like a dog. Now _that_ is a the brother you can depend on. _That_ is a brother you can trust. You have no faith in _me_. You have no love for the brother that sacrificed himself on the Statesman.”

“That is not true, Loki.”

“You love the brother that never fell from the Rainbow Bridge. You love the brother that _knew his place.”_

Thor licked his chapped lips. Loki’s anguish ran through him like a flood.

“There is no version of you I do not adore,” Thor said softly. “But I have been a fool, brother. You are right: I buried the parts of you that had no love for me.”

Loki spread his arms wide, spine arched back towards the roof. “Finally, some honesty!”

Thor jerked when a blade suddenly plunged into his chest. Loki buried it to the hilt, a snarl on his face.

“Hear this, Thor Odinson: _I_ am Loki Odinson. Prince of Asgard. The rightful King of Jötunheimr. God of Mischief.” Tears of fury fell from Loki and landed on Thor’s face. “ _That_ is who I am. You do _not_ get to change that.”

He withdrew the blade, getting ready to thrust it back in. Thor’s gaze lingered on the knife. It was bloodied, shining and red. He did not know what it meant for a soul to bleed. He could die, he thought distantly. The pain in his torso was far too real. He should throw Loki off him or, better yet, return to the Material Plane and wait until his brother calmed down.

Thor did none of these things. He offered Loki a small, sad smile.

“I think the world of you,” he whispered. “I‘m sorry, Loki.”

A scream tore from Loki’s throat. He brought the blade down again.

And again and again and again.

Thor’s entire being was on fire. The pain suffocated any cry that attempted to escape his lips. Loki’s face was a mess of rage, sorrow and blood. His hands were wet with crimson. He was sobbing and screaming until his throat was hoarse.

Finally, Loki cried out and cast the blade aside. It skittered loudly across the floor and out of sight. He hunched over until his forehead rested beneath Thor’s chin. He wept freely. Thor tried to place a hand on Loki’s back but was far too weak to move.

“Why didn’t you stop me?” Loki gasped against Thor’s collarbones. “You could have, but you didn’t even _try!_ I’ve torn you to shreds, you _idiot!”_ Loki curled a hand to Thor’s face, blood smearing across his cheek.

“I feel your pain,” Thor said in wonder.

_“What?”_

“Your pain,” Thor murmured. “I feel it in every wound you’ve made. Loki...just how long have you suffered?”

“Are you _mad?!_ ” Loki sat up and stared at Thor with wild eyes. His bloodied hands slid to the side of Thor’s neck. “You’re bleeding beneath me! Why are we talking about _my_ pain?!”

“Because—because nobody ever talks about your pain.” A trail of blood slipped between his lips. “After you fell, I...I brushed you aside. I thought you mad. I thought only that you desired the throne; that your rage was based on jealousy and—and _imagined slights._ I never tried to understand you. Neither did Father.”

“What are you...?” Loki stared at him helplessly.

“But I want to understand.” With a great deal of effort, Thor brought his hand to Loki’s cheek. His thumb caught fresh tears. “Norns, brother, your pain runs so deep.”

Loki gazed at him with wide eyes, fear and guilt shifting within him.

“I had no right to hide these pieces of you...so let me shoulder your pain.” Thor’s vision blurred around the edges. “I promise you, I will lift your burden. I will cast shadows upon you no longer.” He smiled gently, with love in his eyes. “We will stand together in the light, as we always should have.”

Loki’s face crumpled. He grasped at Thor’s shirt until his knuckles turned white.

“You idiotic, stubborn, bull-headed…”

Thor couldn’t hear what else Loki had to say because his face became buried in Thor’s chest. His body trembled violently. Thor dragged his hand up to cradle the back of his brother’s head. Loki’s hair was tangled and damp with sweat, but Thor didn’t mind.

He held on to Loki as long as he could until, eventually, his vision faded entirely.


	10. Chapter 10

A shock of cold water splashed Thor’s face. He jerked upright with a gasp, eyes wide and searching for an attacker. Bruce and Rocket stared back at him, blinking in unison. There was a now-empty bucket in Bruce’s hands.

“Well, I’m glad that worked,” Bruce said.

Thor groaned, his entire body protesting. His brain was foggy, like it was swimming in a fish bowl. Slowly, he leaned back on the pillows. With a long sigh, he closed his eyes.

“Hey!” Rocket jumped on Thor’s legs, forcing him awake again. “You’ve been napping for two whole days! Don’t tell me you’re still tired!”

“ _What?”_ Thor sat up again and instantly regretted it. His body was not beaten or bruised, but it certainly felt like it. “I’ve been asleep for two days?”

“Yeah, you had me real worried!” He folded his arms, giving Thor a stern look. He jerked his head in Bruce’s direction. “I, uh, had to tell him.”

Thor frowned, his brain still murky. “Tell who—what?”

Bruce smiled and waved awkwardly.

It took Thor a moment, then his eyes widened. “You—you told him about—”

“Loki,” Bruce said. “He’s, uh, yeah. He’s—” He gestured at Thor’s chest.

Thor placed his hand protectively over the scar, biting back a grimace of pain. The scar had always been benign, just a strange mark across his skin, but now it was raw, burning.

He turned to Rocket. “That was not your secret to tell.”

“Weren’t you listenin’ when I said you’ve been unconscious for _two days?”_ Rocket narrowed his eyes. “What the hell was I supposed to do? I ain’t a doctor! I was panicking!”

Bruce looked somewhat indignant. “Come on, Thor. I know how the others would react. I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“All right, all right,” Thor sighed, waving his hand. If any of the Avengers had to find out, at least it was Bruce. “I understand. Although I must say, I don’t think the bucket was necessary.”

Bruce placed the offending bucket on the floor. “Nothing else was working. We tried shaking you, pinching you, slapping you…”

Thor grimaced, touching his cheek gingerly. “That explains the stinging sensation.”

“Sorry,” Bruce said sheepishly.

“Well, I’m not,” Rocket said. “I was going nuts! I just found you here and you were all pale and—and comatose, and—”

“It’s all right, my friend,” Thor said, offering a weak smile. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, well, you know.” Rocket shrugged. “Say, you must be hungry.”

“Not really,” Thor said with a frown. “But I suppose I should eat.”

“I’ll go grab you somethin’.” And with that, Rocket was out the door.

Thor and Bruce were left alone. It was dark outside, thick clouds blocking out the sun. The only source of light came from a floor lamp in the far corner of the room. Bruce’s leg jiggled up and down anxiously. Meanwhile, Thor fought back the desire to pass out again. His eyes were so heavy they needed to be taped open.

The silence was oddly tense, so Thor said, “I am sorry I did not tell you, Bruce.”

“Ah, it’s fine,” Bruce said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I get it. You were just protecting him. The less people who know, the better.”

“Exactly,” Thor exhaled, relieved.

“Although, you know I can relate better than literally anyone else.” Bruce smiled, tapping his temple. “I got another guy living up here, too.”

Thor chuckled and shook his head. “I had not even considered that. I have been a fool.”

Bruce shook his head, smiling. “Well, anyway...I guess it’s a good thing you ignored my advice. About, you know, not looking for your brother and all.”

Thor smiled wryly. “I am not always the best listener. Loki can attest to that. Stubborn to a fault, one might say.”

“So…what happened to you?”

Thor grimaced. “Loki and I had a fight.”

“And that knocked you out for 48 hours?”

“So it would seem.”

“But I don’t— _how_ did you two fight? He doesn’t have a body, right?”

“His soul is tethered to me,” Thor acknowledged, “but it’s complicated. I do not fully understand it myself.”

To the best of his ability, Thor explained the space that Loki occupied, how he could manipulate the world around them to his liking; how he built the city of Asgard from his memories. Bruce looked absolutely fascinated.

“It’s like another dimension,” Bruce said. “A whole world within…” He blinked, frowning at Thor’s chest. “...a world within you? In your chest? In your—in your _soul_ , I guess?”

Thor massaged his eyelids, easing his growing headache. He still had a hard time wrapping his mind around everything. It was hardly important, as far as he was concerned, the _how_ and the _why_. All that mattered to him right now was what state Loki was in while Thor had been unconscious.

“Can you…?” Bruce interlaced his fingers together, elbows resting on his knees. “Do you feel him? Rocket mentioned you two have some kind of—” he made quotation marks with his fingers, “— _connection._ ”

Subconsciously, Thor’s hand found a place on his torso, as if reaching out to Loki. Melancholy descended upon him, however, and his fingers tightened in the fabric of his shirt.

“Normally I can,” Thor murmured, “but not now. He has closed himself off to me.” The familiar buzz of Loki’s soul was non-existent; the area around his ribs strangely numb.

Bruce’s brow pinched. “Is this his version of the silent treatment?”

Thor huffed. “One could say that, I suppose.”

At that moment, Rocket returned with a plate of fruits, nuts and cheeses. He jumped back onto the bed and pushed the food onto Thor’s lap, glaring at him until Thor started nibbling at a piece of cheese.

“So, why _did_ you and Loki fight?” Bruce asked.

“Oh, jeez, what did I miss?” Rocket’s ears perked up with interest.

Thor sighed, chewing his food slowly to delay his response. “Does it matter?”

“If Loki is, you know, feeling a bit homicidal-y, I’d like to know in advance,” Bruce replied with a nervous smile.

Thor’s lips quirked, then pressed into a grim line. “The exact reasons are too tiring to explain, but I wronged him.”

“ _You_ wronged _him?”_ Bruce stared incredulously.

“There is a whole lotta history here that’s going over my head,” Rocket grumbled.

Thor’s head rolled back against the headboard, impacting with a soft _thud_. “He put his trust in me, and I failed him.”

“Okay...but Thor, how many times has he done that to you?” Bruce asked with a raised brow.

Thor shrugged, avoiding both of their stares. “What does it matter? It does not change what I’ve done. He is vulnerable in his current form, so he trusted me to care for him. I tried to do right by him but, in the end, I hurt him far more.” Thor ran a hand anxiously over his chin. “I was protecting myself more than I was trying to protect him.”

Bruce chewed the inside of his cheek and said nothing. Rocket, meanwhile, was frowning thoughtfully. After a moment he said, “He’ll forgive you.”

Both Thor and Bruce looked at him. Bruce’s eyes were comically large, as if Rocket had just suggested the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard in his life.

“Hey!” Rocket said defensively. “There’s a _lot_ I don’t understand about this situation. Hell, I’ve never even _met_ your brother, and by the sounds of things, he’s not well liked around here. But,” he paused, pointing a finger at Thor, “whatever you did to piss him off, he’ll get over it.”

“You sound so sure,” Thor said, watching Rocket curiously. “I appreciate your confidence, but Loki’s grudges are somewhat...legendary.”

Rocket smirked. “Yeah, I can relate to that.” He frowned then, something serious settling in his expression. “But, you know—okay, just hear me out for a second. So, there’s some bad blood between you two.” Thor winced slightly at the turn of phrase. “You guys betrayed each other a billion times or—or whatever. _But_ , he _did_ sacrifice himself to save you.”

Thor stilled at that. One hand tightened into a fist.

“I mean, taking on Thanos by himself? That’s crazy! Who the hell does that?” Rocket lifted his hands in the air. “That’s absolutely nuts! Somehow, I doubt a guy who cares about you that much is gonna stay mad forever.” He shrugged then, examining his nails. “But, hey, you know him better than I do, so.”

Thor’s gaze lingered on Rocket, then shifted to Bruce. Bruce met his eyes, a contemplative expression on his face. Although he didn’t say anything, Bruce nodded, giving him a half-smile.

“Thor, are you…?” Rocket struggled for a moment, then settled on, “Are you gonna be okay? You look like you’re about to throw up or pass out or both.”

“I will be fine,” Thor said with a short laugh. “I am sure I just need rest.”

Bruce scoffed in disbelief. “You got beaten up on—on a _soul-_ ular level, and you’re going to just, you know, sleep it off?”

“Loki had sustained far greater injuries when I found him.” Thor’s eyes narrowed darkly, recalling the bruising on his brother’s neck. “It took some time, but with enough rest, he managed to heal. I believe I will, too.”

Thor exhaled then and slid further down the mattress. His head was pounding now.

“And on that subject, it would be best you leave me. Thank you both for your concern,” Thor said, looking at Bruce meaningfully, who still appeared unconvinced. “It means more to me than I can express.”

Rocket clapped Thor on the ankle before jumping off the mattress. “I’ll come wake ya tonight if you’re still catatonic.”

Thor was asleep before they’d even shut the door.

 

\---

 

Night had descended by the time Thor climbed out of bed. He dragged his feet towards the bathroom, squinting when the lights flickered on. Carefully, he slipped off his shirt, grimacing at each brush of fabric against his scar.

Thor stood there in the mirror, equal parts fascinated and horrified by the mark on his chest. It was a furious red, far darker than he’d ever seen it, and the tissue was raised even higher, more like a blister. The lines that splintered off the main shape had extended farther, like his skin was being cracked open. He tentatively touched it with a finger and inhaled sharply at the pain.

Was Loki trying to break free of his body? Or had their fight just agitated the scar in some way?

Thor splashed water on his face, gripping the sink basin for support as a wave of nausea washed over him. It passed after a few minutes.

He found the softest t-shirt he owned — an old one of Steve’s, it seemed — and slid it gently over his head. Thor gazed at his reflection. He certainly _looked_ sick, judging by the pale tinge to his skin and the shadows beneath his eyes. He ran fingers through his hair, tidying the growing strands into something more presentable.

The voices of his friends carried through the building. He headed in that direction, eventually discovering them in one of the living rooms. With the beginnings of winter in the air, a fireplace was roaring, casting a warm light across the Avengers’ faces. The whole team was there, even Clint for once, who looked more jovial than he’d seen him in weeks. They were all at ease with one another, seated together without their armour or their weapons. Tumblers and bottles of alcohol were scattered across the glass coffee table.

At his arrival, they all turned. Tony said, “Hey, if it isn’t the second strongest Avenger!”

Thor was too tired to protest, but he did shoot a glare in Tony’s direction. He collapsed into a seat beside Natasha, then poured himself a sizeable glass of whatever it was they were drinking. Bruce narrowed his eyes in disapproval, but Thor ignored him and took a large swig.

Natasha leaned back in her seat. “We were missing you. You’ve been gone for two weeks.”

“Where have you been?” Steve asked, who was the only one not drinking alcohol. He appeared to be sipping some kind of milkshake.

Thor downed the rest of his drink before replying, “I have been many places. I ventured beyond Earth’s atmosphere, in fact, to visit other corners of the Nine Realms.”

“Just doing a bit of soul-searching then?” Tony asked.

Thor frowned, suddenly on edge, then realised it was just a turn of phrase. Both Bruce and Rocket looked decidedly amused.

“Something like that,” Thor said drolly. “And what of you all? Any exciting developments while I’ve been away?”

“They’re about to solve all our problems,” Clint said, gesturing at Tony, Bruce and Rocket. “Apparently we’re just gonna go back in time and fix everything.”

“A bit more enthusiasm, if you please,” Tony said. “When have I ever led you astray, Barton?”

“Do you want me to write a list?” Clint asked sweetly.

“Yeah, yeah, okay, aside from every other time,” Tony said flippantly. “Mr. Seven PhDs and our resident Space Raccoon are on board with the plan. _That’s_ saying something.”

“We’ll find out just how stupid the plan is tomorrow,” Bruce said, shaking his head.

“Is the Timey-Wimey Detector ready?” Thor asked. Given that Loki had cut him off, Thor wouldn’t be able to open up a portal any time soon. If his friends had already worked out an alternate solution—

“Oh my God,” Natasha said suddenly, nearly choking on her drink. “Is _that_ what T.W.D. stands for?”

Bruce brought his face to his hands in despair. Rocket, meanwhile, said, “Yeah, it kinda grew on me.”

Predictably, Steve said, “I’m not sure I understand that reference…”

“It involves some sort of doctor,” Thor informed him. Steve nodded sagely.

There were chuckles shared among the group and the conversation shifted. It was light-hearted, easy, nothing like the heavy topics since Thanos’s attack. Although exhaustion plagued Thor and there was a noticeable tremor in his hands, he relaxed against the couch. He allowed himself to simply enjoy his drink and his company.

His gaze travelled across the faces of his friends. Despite all the differences between them, they had welcomed Thor into their small group. They were not just comrades in arms, but friends — a dysfunctional little family. It warmed his heart to be with them.

And that’s what made things complicated.

Loki’s new body would be fully formed very soon. The moment Loki was in a physical form, everything would change. His friends would never accept his brother. For good reason, Thor knew, but it was depressing nonetheless.

Despite his anger with Thor, Loki would stick around to save their people and open the time vortex. Thor had no doubts about that. But what happened after that? Loki did not have a place here among the Avengers. Truth be told, Loki did not have a place among the humans at all. If Loki was to remain on Earth, would he spend the rest of his days in hiding? Would he have to change his form just to go outside? Loki would certainly grow bitter before long.

Thor had been optimistic when he and their people had begun their journey to Earth, but after everything that happened, grim reality had well and truly sunk in.

Once Loki had his body back, it would not be long until he would have to leave Thor. These last few weeks with Loki connected to him...it saddened Thor to realise they might never be this close again. Their time together was rapidly coming to an end.

On the one hand, Loki had made it very clear that he wanted to stay by Thor’s side. That was why he was there when Thanos attacked, after all.

On the other hand, Loki was currently not speaking to him. Their recent fight had proven that, despite all their hardships, they still didn’t know how to care for one another without leaving bruises.

Either Thor would have to leave the Avengers Facility, and possibly leave Earth altogether, to stay with Loki...or Loki would have to leave _him._ Experience had taught him what the likely outcome would be.

He was at a loss. He was so unbearably tired. His drink turned sour in his mouth and his friends’ voices faded to white noise. When it came time for Clint to bid farewell, Thor rose with him. He returned to his bedroom before anyone could ask questions.

After shutting the door behind him, he spotted Stormbreaker leaning against the wardrobe. He called it to him, placing both hands on the hilt. He attempted to call on the pocket dimension that housed Loki’s body. He just needed to see it, to see _him_ , to check its progress...if only to remind himself of the _good_ that he had done for Loki. There was more than pain and anguish between them. He had gifted his brother with new life; that was something he could be proud of.

But despite all his concentration, Thor could not create a gateway. The small tendrils of seiðr he called on were far too weak. He was already so fatigued, and even if he was at full strength, it would be difficult without his brother’s aid.

Thor snarled in frustration. He grabbed a table lamp and hurled it at the wall, hard enough to create an indent. The lamp lay in pieces on the floor. Thor wanted to rage, to fight with his fists and free himself of his failings. Instead, he sagged onto the edge of the mattress. Thor hunched over and rested his face in his hands.

Despair consumed him.

But then it began to ease, replaced by something else.

Thor slowly uncurled, staring ahead of him. The pain in his heart was fading away. Gentle waves of comfort were running through him.

“Loki?”

His brother’s soul was like a tightly wound coil in Thor’s chest. Tension encompassed every fibre of his being.

“Are you all right, brother?” Thor whispered.

Loki said nothing in response. Instead, he fluttered and released a soft, sweet warmth through Thor’s chest. It soothed the ache in Thor’s spirit, eliciting a quiet sigh.

“Please tell me you’re okay.”

Thor waited. Loki said nothing.

“I’m on my way,” Thor said, and his eyes slipped shut.

He appeared in the throne room, lying on his back and gazing at the broken ceiling. He gasped at the pain surging through his chest. Tentatively, he touched his torso, and his fingers came away sticky with blood. With a deep breath, he forced himself to his feet.

It was a disaster zone. Cracks like spiderwebs stretched across the floor and weaved up the walls. The ceiling lay in pieces around him. The throne had been upturned and broken apart. At his feet, there was a large pool of blood. Thor shivered.

The steps from the throne normally stopped at the floor, but now they descended below into the lower levels of the palace. Thor circled around to get a better view, but the stairs disappeared into darkness. He had no idea what he would find at the bottom, but he descended regardless.

Each step he took was slow and shaky. The weakness of his soul was obvious in this place. When touching his wounds directly, they didn’t seem to hurt the way a regular wound should. Instead, it sent an unpleasant sensation of pins and needles throughout his entire being.

Thor reached the end of the staircase. He was in a narrow hallway with sparsely placed torches. There were numerous empty cells cut into the walls, and Thor immediately recognised his surroundings as the dungeons. He had a feeling he knew where Loki was.

He marched onward. An eternity passed before he reached the end. He slowed up when he finally spotted his brother.

Loki was slumped in the same cell where Odin had imprisoned him. When Thor had gone to him after their mother was killed, his cell had been trashed. The cell in this plane was an exact replica, including the same fruits and furniture that littered the floor. The only difference was that Loki sat in the same armour he last fought Thor in with his golden helmet sitting in his lap.

“I’m here,” Thor said, taking two steps up. He reached out a hand but jerked back when he met the barrier’s resistance. His brother had locked himself in.

Loki, who had been staring at his blood-stained hands, dragged his head up to meet Thor’s gaze. He gave Thor a small, pained smile. Loki opened his mouth to speak, but then shook his head. His dark hair fell in front of his face.

He looked terrible. His cheeks were sunken and the bags beneath his eyes were like bruises. There were tremors in his hands, which he tried to hide by knitting his fingers behind his helmet. His lips were colourless and his skin was tinged grey and damp with sweat.

Thor pressed a hand to the barrier. “Will you let me in, brother?”

Again, Loki shook his head.

“Very well,” Thor said gently. “We can talk like this.”

“Why would you desire to speak to me?” Loki sighed.

“You reached out to me, Loki. You brought your walls down. Well, except this one,” he said, tapping the barrier for emphasis.

Loki exhaled a silent laugh. “You fascinate me sometimes, brother.”

“I am not sure if that’s an insult or a compliment.”

“It’s safe to assume I mean both,” Loki told him with a quirk of his lips. “I find it fascinating that you come to my aid over and over again, no matter how much I hurt you and push you away. Why is that?” He cocked his head. “You have always been popular. You make friends easily, even here on Midgard, and yet you waste your time on me.”

“You’re not a waste of time,” Thor said firmly. “Do not say such things. It is true that in recent years we have been divided, but we have spent over a millennia together on the same side. You are dear to me, Loki.”

“Yes, I suppose we do have a long history,” Loki said. “A complicated one.”

“That would be an understatement.”

Loki smiled sadly. “We are constantly at odds with one another. We share so many experiences, yet remember them so very differently.”

Thor looked at his feet, his hand dropping back to his side. He chewed at his lip pensively. “You know, Loki, I have been thinking about many things as of late.”

“You must have a _tremendous_ headache.”

“Shut up,” Thor grumbled, which brought a genuine grin to Loki’s lips. “When I last saw you, you said that you thought we had moved forward.”

At the mention of their fight, a dark look appeared in Loki’s eyes. He nodded stiffly.

“Is that what you want?” Thor asked, hope flickering in his chest. “You wish to let the past lie?”

Loki suddenly became very interested in his helmet, his gaze dropping away from Thor’s. “That is entirely up to you.”

“How is it my decision alone?” Thor placed a hand to the barrier again, wishing he could press his palm to the side of Loki’s neck instead. “Loki, I cannot force you to move on. That is not within the scope of my power.”

Loki stared ahead, looking past Thor entirely. “Can you honestly say that you have forgiven me? Not for everything, surely.” His eyes flicked to Thor’s. “You would be a fool otherwise.”

“Then a fool I am.”

Affection flared within Loki. He shook his head again, looking back to his helmet. He traced his fingers over one of the horns. “I waged war against this planet. I threatened the lives of these mortals, including your friends. You truly carry no ill will towards me?”

“I accept what you did,” Thor said carefully, “and I am wise enough to know you have changed.”

“Have I now?”

“Of course.” Thor smiled. “Goodness was always within you, brother. It was not so long ago that I craved war against Jötunheimr. I was willing to throw away a peace treaty, endanger the lives of our people, over an _insult_.”

Loki considered that. “Yes, that was not one of your proudest moments.”

“It was not,” Thor said, “but I am not the same man I was then. Neither are you, Loki. In the battle against our sister, I knew you would come to my aid. Why do you think I had no back up plan?”

“Because you never think things through?” Loki suggested.

“Because I had _faith_ in you,” Thor said. “And you did not disappoint.”

Loki closed his eyes, allowing the silence to hang between them. Thor leaned his shoulder on the barrier, watching Loki’s hunched form. They both needed rest. Thor was struggling to stay standing and Loki looked ready to pass out any second.

“When it comes to you, there is no room in my heart for hatred,” Thor said. “I have said my piece, now say yours.”

Loki tossed his hair out of his face. “I suppose you will not leave me alone otherwise.”

“I will pester you forever, if I must.”

Loki smiled wryly. “What will you have me say?”

“I am not telling you what to say. I have wronged you, more than once. You know this. I did not understand it before, but now I do.” Thor stood strong on his weakened legs, facing his brother with open arms. “Do you forgive me?”

Loki sucked in his bottom lip. He scowled at his helmet, running his thumbs over the metal pensively. Bitter memories waged war inside him. Thor could feel every tiny flicker of resentment and anger, but at the same time, confusion and hope ran laps around him.

“Do not expect me to ever say these words again: I am going to be completely honest with you.” Loki stared hard at him. Thor held his gaze. “I do not have the time or patience to hate you. It’s exhausting. _You_ are exhausting.” Loki clenched his jaw, then said softly, “You make me forget why I was ever mad in the first place. And that, in itself, is _maddening_.”

Thor’s chest swelled with hope.

“I have a long list of grievances. You infuriate me, and often, yet I would throw myself in Thanos’s path again if it meant you had a chance to live.” Loki narrowed his eyes almost accusingly. “There is no one else I would die for. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Thor said, quietly awed.

“So, taking _all_ of that into consideration...” He took a steadying breath and said, “I will never completely forgive you for what you’ve done.”

Thor felt like he’d been back-handed. “What?”

“Oh, I have forgiven you for most things,” he said with a careless wave, “but not everything.”

“What have I done that is so unforgivable?” He leaned both hands on the barrier, head tipped forward. “Let me rectify it.”

Loki tossed his helmet in his hands, twirling it on two fingers. He suddenly clamped his palms hard against it, then fixed Thor with an intense stare. “Do you remember Mother’s funeral?”

Thor swallowed. “I do.”

“Good.” Loki’s eyes flashed. “Because I don’t.”

Thor’s lips parted. He looked around Loki’s cell, at all the broken pieces of furniture, at the stains of fruit and blood on the floor. He inhaled shakily and his hands clenched into fists.

Before he could say anything, Loki continued, “Do you remember when you told me of Mother’s death?”

“No,” Thor whispered.

“Of course not,” Loki sneered, “because _you_ didn’t tell me anything. A soldier came to my cell as the royal messenger. You were apparently too busy to stop by. And before you even _try_ and defend yourself,” he snapped when Thor opened his mouth, “yes, the Allfather had _kindly_ forbidden any visitors to my cell, yet that didn’t stop you from dragging me to Svartálfheim. I had a purpose to serve then, didn’t I? I was certainly worth a visit _then._ ”

Thor slumped to his knees, head bowed against the barrier. The wounds in his chest were burning as if freshly made.

“No apology will ever make up for that,” Thor murmured.

“No,” Loki said, and he sounded exhausted now. His rage had all but evaporated. “No, it won’t.”

“Mother loved you.” Thor couldn’t meet Loki’s eyes. “I wish I’d saved her.”

They were both quiet. Thor heard Loki inhale, and when he looked up, his brother’s eyes were bright with unshed tears.

“I do not blame you for her death.”

“No?” Thor said. “You should. I do.”

“ _Don’t_.” Loki’s gaze was fierce. “That is not a burden for you to bear.”

The muscle in Thor’s cheek jumped. He swallowed, his shoulders heavy. “I’m sorry, Loki.”

Loki wiped two tears from his cheeks. “I know.”

“It is unforgivable.”

“It is.”

Thor swallowed again, desperately trying to rid the lump in his throat.

“But we will move forward.”

Thor blinked. Suddenly, he found himself off-balance.  He caught himself before he fell flat on his face.

The barrier had disappeared.

Thor scrambled to his feet. “Wh—what?”

“I will never forgive you,” Loki said evenly, “but we will move forward.”

“I do not understand.”

Loki shrugged, then set the helmet on the ground beside him. He stood up gracefully. “I do not want a clean slate. Not entirely. What I want is to learn from past mistakes.” He tilted his head, assessing him. “Don’t you, Thor?”

“Yes,” Thor exhaled, though his thoughts were frenzied. He was so overwhelmed he was dizzy with it. “Yes, that—that works.”

“Wonderful. Now,” he said, closing the distance between them. He hovered his hands in front of Thor’s injuries. “I need you to stop blubbering and let me heal you.”

“I—I’m not _blubbering_.”

“Be still.”

Thor obeyed. There was a white light appearing in front of Thor’s chest, but all he could focus on was the concentrated pinch of Loki’s brow and the bright reflections in his eyes.

 _This_ was his brother, the one with all his memories and experiences. He was cunning, underhanded, irritable and deceptive, but he stood before Thor now with a desire to mend. This was Loki, the one who drove Thor insane like no one else could, but always managed to come through when it mattered most. This was _Loki_ , the one who gave up the Tesseract so Thor might be spared.

Why had he buried him away for so long?

“It’s not working,” Loki growled. “Why aren’t you healing?” His eyes snapped to Thor’s. “You healed me before. Why can’t I heal you? Did you do something different?”

“Loki, leave it,” Thor said, gently taking Loki’s hands in his own. “I will heal in my own time.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Why delay your healing process?”

“We should both rest,” Thor said, rubbing his thumbs over Loki’s knuckles. “We can worry about it later.”

“Thor, I want to—”

“Loki.”

Loki scowled. “Thor, I am trying to _help_. Will you just—?”

Thor fitted a hand to the side of Loki’s neck. His thumb caught a spot behind his ear, his fingers curling to the back of his hairline. Loki swallowed his stream of protests. They watched one another for a moment, a peculiar emotion passing between them.

Thor brought their foreheads together. He exhaled softly, his eyes slipping shut.

“I am far too tired, Loki.”

Loki was quiet. Thor could feel him fidgeting, his unsteady breaths filling the space between them. His skin was warm while Thor’s ran hot. His pulse thrummed beneath Thor’s hand.

After a moment’s hesitation, Loki’s hands curled around Thor’s jaw, thumbs fitting beside his cheekbones. Loki released a long, relieved exhale. Thor’s eyes fluttered open and found that Loki’s were now closed. His face was relaxed, all tension finally fading away.

“So am I,” Loki said softly.

They stood together for some time. Here, in the empty prison of Asgard, with no walls between them.


	11. Chapter 11

Warm sunlight bathed Thor in gold. He mumbled a complaint, eyes peeling open slowly. He blinked twice, then sat up in alarm.

He was not in the Avengers Facility. This was not his room.

Except, a moment later, he realised it _was_ his room — the one that was destroyed by Ragnarök.

He had never woken up in Loki’s plane before. He had fallen asleep here before, often in the library with his head on the desk, but he always came to in the Avengers Facility.

He eased back into the pillows, staring dazedly at his surroundings. He had not slept in his bedroom in years, the last time being before the Convergence. Everything was as he remembered, from the ostentation wooden bedframe to the trophies and trinkets lining the walls. The bed sheets were soft and familiar, patterned in red and gold.

For a moment, he could pretend that Asgard still lived, that his sister had never attacked, and that his family were tucked away in their rooms, rising slowly with the dawn.

But then Thor turned and found Loki beside him. He slept on his stomach, one arm extended towards Thor. Dark locks of hair fell over his face. He was dressed in his silky green bedclothes and stood out sharply against the warm colours of the bedspread. Loki had followed him to his room last night to ensure that he made it to bed without collapsing along the way. Once Thor had curled up on the mattress, he assumed that Loki would have retired to his own room. Apparently not.

Thor gazed at his brother. His eyes followed the contours of Loki’s face, the high arch of his cheekbones, the line of his jaw. He lingered for a long moment on his parted lips. A strong, sweet emotion surfaced within him, catching him by surprise. He hesitated, but then reached out. His fingers slipped beneath Loki’s hair and swept it off his face, looping the strands behind his ear. He traced the elegant slope of Loki’s jawline, intrigued by his smooth, sleep-warm skin.

“Must you be so embarrassing, brother?”

Thor’s hand jerked back. Loki cracked an eye open, watching Thor carefully. Expectantly, even.

A moment later, Thor recovered. He offered Loki a grin. “Me? Embarrassing _you?_ Never.”

The tension in the room lifted. Loki sighed and rolled onto his back, one arm draped across his eyes. “I don’t appreciate being woken so early. I could quite easily sleep for another eight hours.”

Thor sighed and mimicked Loki’s position. “I could sleep for a week.”

Loki frowned at him. “How are your injuries?”

“Better,” Thor lied.

With a scowl, Loki propped himself up on one elbow. “Look me in the eye, Thor.”

With another sigh, Thor faced him. “ _Better_.”

“Sit up.”

“Loki—”

“Now.”

Thor grumbled and pushed himself upright, biting back a series of pained winces. He leaned against the headboard, chest rising and falling rapidly from the exertion. Loki got to his knees and shuffled to Thor’s side, his eyes fixated on his clothed chest. He hovered both hands a few inches from Thor’s torso, then closed his eyes.

That familiar white light grew from his palms. It tingled pleasantly and raised goosebumps along his skin. He let out a sigh of relief, the discomfort in his chest beginning to ease. As soon as the light faded, however, the pain returned. Loki watched him with sharp eyes.

“It didn’t work.”

“No,” Thor grimaced, running his fingers tentatively over his shirt. He could feel the raised wounds through the fabric.

Loki flicked his wrist and suddenly Thor’s shirt was gone entirely.

“Hey!” Thor folded his arms over himself indignantly.

“Will you _please_ move your hands out of the way?” Loki demanded. At the same time, he swung a leg over Thor’s thighs to sit directly in his lap. “I need to see what I’m doing.”

Hesitantly, Thor did as he asked. As Loki assessed the damage, a dark expression settled on his face.

Thor’s torso was a _mess_. The wounds were a furious red, matching the shade of the scar in the centre of his chest. His skin was tinged pink and yellow, as if the lacerations were infected. Dark bruises were apparent as well, surrounding each injury in shades of blue.

“Don’t move,” Loki said, then pressed his hands to the injuries.

Thor yelped and pulled away. “Loki, don’t just—it _hurts!”_

“You touched my neck directly when you healed it!” Loki snapped. “Perhaps it requires direct contact!”

“Could you at least be _careful_ then?” Thor said irritably. “That does not _tickle_ , brother.”

A flicker of guilt ran through Loki. He swallowed it down and then, very gently, placed his hands across Thor’s chest. Thor clenched his jaw, his eyes and forehead scrunched with pain. Loki’s palms were cool compared to the furious heat emanating from Thor. It was like a very weak ice pack; the true power of a Frost Giant, Thor thought with amusement.

Loki closed his eyes once more and the light pulsed directly into Thor’s skin. The area quickly numbed, so Thor focused instead on the small movements of Loki’s fingers. They traced lightly along the edges of his wounds and over the blooming bruises. It was far more intimate than Thor had anticipated. As Loki continued to heal him, Thor became fascinated by the flattering shade of pink on Loki’s cheeks.

The light dispersed and, yet again, the pain returned. Loki was staring at the injuries with barely concealed distress, his hands twitching against Thor’s skin.

“I don’t understand,” Loki said. He did not remove his hands.

“I need time,” Thor said. “Perhaps a few days of rest. These wounds will disappear, I am certain.”

“You cannot possibly know that,” Loki scoffed.

“Well,” Thor said with a small smile, “you will have to keep an eye on me, then.”

He raised a brow at Thor. “That sounds _dreadfully_ boring.”

“Does it now?”

Loki chuckled softly. He walked two fingers up Thor’s skin, finding an unmarred spot on his chest. Loki’s eyes were distant, peering right through him. He brushed the ridges of Thor’s collarbones and something stuttered beneath Thor’s ribcage. His next breath came quicker than the last.

“What are you thinking about?” Thor asked, his mouth oddly dry.

Loki’s eyes dragged leisurely over the curve of Thor’s neck, eventually reaching his eyes. He gazed at Thor through lowered lashes.

“The future,” he exhaled, his voice strangely reverent. “What the Fates may have in store for us.”

Loki then traced the shape of Thor’s bare shoulder. He ran a path up to his earlobe and followed the curve to the corner of his jaw. The touch was curious, featherlight.

“I—” Thor swallowed, “—I doubt the Norns have any sway over us anymore.”

“Is that so?”

Thor tried desperately to ignore the exploratory touch of Loki’s fingers, but what he couldn’t seem to overlook was the weight of him in his lap. Heat, unbidden, simmered inside him.

Thor wet his lips and said, “There is no one to dictate what we can and cannot do anymore. Not even the Norns.”

“How blasphemous,” Loki said indulgently, his voice pitched low.

Not a single clever response came to Thor’s mind, so he simply stared at Loki. Loki returned the stare, a smirk slowly forming on his mouth. Thor had never felt more exposed than he did right then. Before he could stop himself, Thor’s hands rose to Loki’s hips. His thumbs settled over the shape of his hip bones. Naked warmth lay just beneath the fabric.

Loki arched a brow. His smirk widened. “And what, may I ask, are _you_ thinking about?”

Thor wasn’t thinking much of anything at this point.

Something caught Loki’s attention, however. He whipped around, eyes narrowed. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“Ah.” Loki turned back, realisation seeming to dawn on him. “You might want to brace yourself.”

“Brace myself?” Thor frowned. “Brace myself for wh—?”

The roar of an explosion rattled through them. Thor was flung off the bed and landed face down on the wooden floor. He groaned, then lifted his chin to look around.

He was back in the Avengers Facility. Something smelled like smoke. It did not seem that they were under attack, but by the sounds of his friends cursing elsewhere in the building, his presence was needed.

Thor’s fingers twitched. The shape of Loki’s hips lingered like a phantom against his palms. He shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind, but it was clouded over with a series of urgent, confusing desires. Whatever _that_ was...he supposed it would have to wait. With a resigned sigh, Thor pushed himself to his feet.

It didn’t take long for him to locate the source of the smoke. He found the Avengers gathered at the lab, staring wide-eyed at a gaping hole in the wall. The whole team was covered in a thin layer of ash. Rocket’s fur stood on end, a couple of his whiskers still alight with flame. In the centre of the lab was the burned out husk of the T.W.D.

“Oh, hey there,” Tony said cheerfully. “I was wondering if you heard that.”

 _“Heard it?”_ Thor said incredulously. “What happened here?!”

“Our calculations were off,” Bruce sighed, tapping morosely at the tablet in his hands. “ _My_ calculations were off.”

“Well,” Steve said amicably, “your calculations weren’t _off_. For a second there, there was a portal—wormhole—dimensional— _thing_ , it just...backfired a bit.” He clapped Bruce on the shoulder. It was then that Thor noticed half of Steve’s beard had been singed off.

“Overall, I’d say this was a success,” Tony declared, dusting his hands.

 _“Success?!”_ Clint barked. He and Natasha stood side by side, mirroring each other’s poses. Neither of them were amused.

“We created a wormhole!” Tony said. “Sure, it imploded after about five seconds, give or take, but—”

“ _Please_ stop talking,” Clint said with a raised hand. He gestured to himself then. “These are my new jeans, man. I bought them three days ago!”

“Hey,” Tony said with a pointed finger, “I know you wanna look good for me, but I didn’t ask you to wear those.”

“Oh, for the love of—”

“If I might interrupt,” Thor said, standing between them. “You have blown up half the lab. Much of your equipment is damaged or destroyed.”

“Uh, yeah,” Tony said. “I can see that. Thank you.”

“Surely you should have tested this outside,” Thor said.

His eyes shifted between some of the most brilliant minds in the universe. In that moment — to borrow Rocket’s insult — they were all _morons_.

Thor continued, “You are piping your energy source from the lower levels of the building. Could it not be piped to an outdoor location?”

Rocket stared at Thor, blinking slowly. “Huh.”

Bruce shuffled from side to side. Tony, meanwhile, looked at Thor like he’d just spoken to him in Groot.

“I’m sorry, is the God of Thunder lecturing me about my science experiments?” Tony lifted his chin and crossed his arms. “Because if he is, I’m actually kinda into it.”

“Call it a lecture if you must,” Thor said. “I am merely pointing out the flaws in your plan. It is no game when traveling through other dimensions. If you do not have mastery over the energy you wield, it can tear apart _planets_ , nevermind this building or the city behind us.”

“Oh, I am loving this,” Tony said.

“You mock me?” Thor growled.

Tony sweeped his arms wide. “Not mocking, just confused. And mildly turned on.” He took a few steps closer. “You’re talking like you’ve done this whole time traveling thing before.”

“Not exactly.” Thor squared his shoulders. “But I know a way, and I have the tools necessary to achieve it.”

“Wait, what?” Bruce blinked at Thor owlishly. “Since _when?”_

Thor smiled at them all. “I did more than just soul-searching these past few weeks. Come,” he turned on his heel, gesturing for them to follow. “We have much to discuss.”

 

\---

 

After hours of debate, a plan was set in motion. Thor marched through the hallways with an air of triumph about him.

Today, they will fix the mess of their earlier experiment.  Tonight, they will make all necessary preparations for their next experiment. Tomorrow, they will try again. This time, however, Thor would demonstrate his command over the Bifröst.

When he returned to his room, Loki finally spoke.

_I do not like this plan, Thor._

“What’s not to like?” Thor asked. He picked up Stormbreaker, his eyes roaming over it thoughtfully. “Was this not always the plan?”

_Circumstances have changed._

Thor frowned. “Nothing has changed.”

 _Has it already escaped your notice that you are injured?_ Loki said waspishly. _Do you not recall the last time we tried to enter the Quantum Realm? How much energy it cost us to even get close?_

“That’s where Stark’s reactor comes in,” Thor said brightly. “You heard the way he spoke of it. An energy source that mimics the Tesseract, Loki! If energy is what we lack to reach the Quantum Realm, then surely this is the answer. We can use it.”

_That does not change the fact you are wounded._

“It does not,” Thor said, “but regardless, I wish to try.”

He set his feet apart then, taking Stormbreaker in both hands.

“Might I borrow your seiðr? I would like to check up on our pocket dimension.”

Loki ignored his request. _As always, you are completely reckless. Here I thought you might heed my warnings for once._

“I understand your concerns, Loki,” Thor said, sending a soothing wave of affection over his brother. “Let us try entering this smaller dimension first. If I cannot handle this, I definitely won’t be able to handle entering any other dimension.”

Although he was sullen about it, Loki obliged. His magic encompassed Thor, blending with his own. It was always surprising just how well they seemed to fit together. The thought was a distracting one, so Thor discarded it for the time being.

When he stepped through the gateway, his eyes widened with awe. There was the swirling, watery orb, illuminated by an enchanting blue light. He stopped breathing entirely at the sight of the body — of his _brother_.

Loki’s face was fully formed, his eyes closed and filled out with long lashes. He bore a full head of hair, that single braid drifting among the rest of the flowing strands. The Everlast’s roots travelled along his neck and shoulders, knitting together and forming firm muscle and bone. His torso was solid enough to cover his heart and lungs, and his limbs were long and partially formed. One of his hands was complete, including fingernails.

 _I see it’s coming along quickly,_ Loki said, sounding anything but surprised. _Another two days, I suspect._

Thor trailed his fingers across the water reverently. “Is it strange to see yourself like this?”

 _I suppose it is._ Loki might have shrugged. _That vessel is not me. Not yet._

“Of course,” Thor acknowledged. “The real you is right—” He merged into Loki’s plane, “—here.”

Loki jumped in surprise. Thor grinned, bumping their shoulders together.

“How rare for me to catch you off-guard,” Thor said.

“You are so unbelievably annoying,” Loki sighed.

They were seated side-by-side in the courtyard, Asgard’s city bathed in the light of sunset. Every flower was in bloom, their perfume sweet and intoxicating. The shimmering light of the Rainbow Bridge could be seen in the distance, some of its radiance catching in the reflection of the roaring sea.

Thor inhaled, his heart suddenly heavy. “I suppose we shall not have this much longer.”

“Asgard?” Loki said, not taking his eyes off the city. “Once I join with my new vessel, this will…” Loki trailed off. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “This place will disappear.”

“Do you think we could save Asgard?” Thor asked, though he already knew the answer. “If we went back in time far enough—”

“It is foolish enough to try and prevent the destruction of the Statesman,” Loki said firmly. “Ragnarök was a prophecy decided long ago. Besides, how else are we to escape the wrath of our sister?”

“You’re right,” Thor sighed, scrubbing a hand over his beard. “No, this is how it must be.”

“We must focus instead on the lives we _can_ save,” Loki said, although as Thor turned to his brother now, he could see the creases in his brow, the pain on his face. Thor constantly underestimated just how much Loki cared for Asgard. It was his home; his lineage changed nothing. Although his methods had been dubious, he had Asgard’s best interests at heart.

Thor placed a hand on Loki’s back just below his neck. “Thank you.”

Loki looked at him in puzzlement. “Why are you thanking me?”

“You shared this gift with me,” Thor said, gesturing around them. “Because of you, your memories, we have been blessed to walk the halls of the palace once more. We sit here now in the courtyard from our youth, surrounded by our mother’s gardens.” He brushed a knuckle against his cheek. “You are a wonder, Loki.”

Loki ducked his head, embarrassment pulsing through him. “And you are sentimental to a fault, brother.”

Thor grinned. “You love that about me.”

Loki looked at him then, something brewing in his eyes. Loki, who was always so quick with his barbs and his charming words, seemed to be suddenly tongue-tied. He turned away again, his expression unreadable.

“I still do not approve of the plan,” he said instead. He folded his arms, raising a brow at Thor.

Thor accepted the subject change gracefully. “You believe I am too weak to use the Bifröst?”

“Well, quite frankly, _yes_.” Loki shook his head, his eyes narrowing. “I know that the _almighty_ Thor refuses to believe that he could _ever_ be considered weak, but—”

“Then I will not do it.”

Loki blinked. “Pardon?”

Thor shrugged. “If you truly think that I cannot do it, that we should wait, then we will.”

“What? No, you—” Loki stared at him in complete and utter disbelief. “Why are you listening to me?”

“Because you are probably right,” Thor said, shrugging once again. “My soul is too fragile. We should wait.”

“That isn’t—I—now just hang on a minute.”

He chewed his lip, then jumped to his feet. His spine was ramrod straight, his fingers twitching by his sides. He rounded on Thor, hands clasped behind his back.

“There are risks, _obviously_ , but with adequate preparation and countermeasures, we can still try and open a gateway tomorrow.”

Thor hid a smile behind his hand. His brother was contrary to a fault. What was that expression Tony had once used — reverse psychology?

Loki tapped his chin in thought. “Yes, with the aid of the reactor and my own seiðr, the drain on your spirit will be minimal. Yes,” he was nodding to himself, barely paying attention to Thor. “Yes, I think this could work.”

As Loki continued to ramble to himself, Thor took a moment to commit every detail of Asgard to memory. Asgard was a people, he knew, but it had once been a place. It had been a home for so many, and while he carried precious memories in his heart, its loss was a grief he would never escape entirely.

After a few minutes, Loki settled beside Thor. They watched the sun slowly fade below the horizon.

“There is no sunset more beautiful,” Thor said quietly.

“No,” Loki murmured, his eyes flecked with gold. “No, there is not.”

 

\---

 

Something tugged Thor gently into consciousness. It was not a physical presence, but something else entirely:

Music.

Thor blinked the sleep from his eyes. He sat up, the blanket pooling in his lap. He awoke in Asgard, moonlight falling across the wooden floorboards. There was music coming from somewhere out in the hallway: the strumming of a guitar, the warm tones of a male voice, a chorus of women. It was familiar, yet Thor could not place it.

He slipped into the hall and followed the music, his steps echoing along the walls despite his bare feet. A slither of orange light came from Loki’s bedroom, the door ajar ever so slightly. Thor lingered outside for a moment, nerves jumping in his throat for reasons he did not understand. Quietly, Thor pushed the door open.

The source of the music came from a beautiful record player made of fine wood and decorated with touches of gold. Loki was at his desk with one leg crossed, a book held carefully in hand. He did not acknowledge Thor’s presence.

As Thor stood there, caught off-guard by the elegant way Loki held himself, the song seeped into him. He blinked, brow furrowed. He was overcome by a profound sense of déjà vu.

“I remember this.”

Loki turned a page. “Remember what?”

“This song...they played it often at taverns, late at night when patrons were heavy with liquor and bearing their hearts.” He smiled at Loki, who still avoided his gaze. “You had not heard it before. I showed it to you.”

“That is hardly a significant memory,” Loki replied, thumbing at the corner of a page. He wasn’t actually reading, Thor knew. “It’s just a song.”

Thor looked at Loki with a quiet yearning in his chest. “I asked you to dance with me.”

“And I said no.”

“You did,” Thor chuckled, taking a couple more steps into the room. “You were quite adamant.”

Loki snapped the book closed and looked out the window. The cool light of the moon and the warm glow of the candles coalesced on his brother’s skin. It was captivating; Thor couldn’t tear his eyes away. He didn’t want to.

“I might have acquiesced if this song wasn’t so _slow_ ,” Loki said. “It is not customary to dance with your brother to a song such as this.”

Thor chewed his bottom lip. “I suppose not.”

Loki stiffened. His eyes darted to Thor before quickly dropping to the desk. If Thor hadn’t noticed it, he might have bid Loki farewell and returned to his room. Instead, he approached.

Thor thought of that moment in his bedroom earlier that day, of Loki settled in his lap. He could still feel the tender touches of his fingers along his jaw. His mind had been circling the memory no matter what he did to distract himself.

He thought of many things then: the loving embrace of Loki’s soul around his own; the years of Loki gazing at him with open adoration, and Thor returning that same expression when no one else was around; and that time, only a handful of years ago, when he asked Loki to dance with him. Aching disappointment had followed him for days afterwards.

When Thor offered his hand, Loki stared up at him in surprise.

“If I asked you to dance,” Thor said softly, “would you refuse me?”

Loki desperately schooled his features to hide from Thor’s piercing stare. Thor recognised the longing inside him, however, his spirit practically shook with it. The question now was whether Loki would allow himself this.

And then, after much deliberation, Loki accepted his hand. Thor’s soul soared with delight. Loki could feel his joy, too, for a dusting of pink settled across his cheeks.

“Not a word of this to anyone,” he muttered.

“Of course,” Thor said smoothly, guiding Loki’s hand to his waist. “No one has to know.”

He settled one hand on Loki’s shoulder. Their other hands remained joined, Loki’s slender fingers held within Thor’s calloused palm.

The music swelled gradually. It was easy, really, for Thor to take the lead. They were both skilled dancers, having learned many during their adolescent years. They turned slowly, matching the long beats. The only problem was that Loki refused to meet his eyes, staring at a spot just beyond Thor’s head. Thor attempted to catch his gaze but Loki evaded it. Each time he tried, Loki’s hand clenched tighter around Thor’s.

“Will you not look at me?”

Loki said nothing. He was clearly listening, however, for the crease in his brow deepened. Thor pressed his fingers into Loki’s tight shoulder muscle, working at it until it slumped. He moved his hand to Loki’s neck, his thumb resting lightly over his pulse. It was light and quick like a bird.

“What are you so afraid of?” Thor asked gently.

 _That_ caught his attention. Loki’s eyes snapped to his, and his expression changed to something more confident. Cocky, even.

“You think I fear this?” he said, lifting a brow. “Please, Thor.”

Suddenly, Loki took charge. Thor nearly tripped trying to keep up. He thought he might have the upper hand for once, but Loki had flipped _that_ idea on its head before Thor had time to react. Their movements still matched the song but they were firmer, their steps wider, purposeful.

The music rose, the lyrics strong yet sweet. And then, with a sweeping turn, Loki walked him backwards until Thor’s back hit the wall.

“What are you—?”

Loki was suddenly right _there_ , a scant few inches between them. There was hunger in his eyes, his smirk positively wolffish. Any reservations Loki had a few minutes ago were gone completely. Thor, meanwhile, had stopped breathing altogether.

Loki leaned in, eyes dropping to Thor’s mouth. “I wonder…”

“What?” Thor prompted, swallowing roughly.

Loki looked up, eyes glittering with mischief. His smirk lit a fire in Thor’s blood.

“If I asked you to close the distance,” Loki purred, his breath ghosting over Thor’s lips, “would you refuse me?”

And with that single question, Thor’s entire world unraveled.

How very like his brother to turn Thor’s own words against him. Was this retribution, he wondered, for making Loki so flustered? Was this a game? A challenge? Thor didn’t know, and his mind was too preoccupied with Loki’s proximity to fully process what was happening.

Every single part of him was screaming to bridge the gap. Loki’s body was firm, warm and inviting. They were pressed from chest to hip, leaving just enough space so as not to aggravate Thor’s injuries. Loki’s foot stood between Thor’s, another way for Loki to pin him in place. The hand on Thor’s waist crept to his hip. Thor’s breath was far too quick, filling the space between them.

Loki leaned in just that little bit more, his lips teasingly close. Warmth emanated from him, so tantalising it was almost painful. However, no matter _what_ he wanted, Thor was paralysed. He grew more and more flustered, his fingers twitching at his sides. His gaze drifted from Loki’s mouth to his eyes, trying to communicate that no, of _course_ he wouldn’t refuse him, just _do it_.

“My goodness,” Loki whispered, his words alight with amusement. “I’ve actually rendered you speechless, haven’t I?”

“I—” His mouth was horribly dry. His tongue was thick and useless.

“You are _utterly_ terrified,” Loki remarked, but he sounded absolutely delighted by the idea. “You’ve completely frozen up. Has anyone given you this much performance anxiety before?”

“I’m not—” Despair gripped Thor then, because Loki was moving away, _curse him_ , and Thor hadn’t even given an answer! “Loki, wait, I—”

A finger came to Thor’s lips. He fell silent, watching Loki carefully. The mirth on his brother’s face slipped away. A rare smile replaced it, his eyes softening into something far kinder.

He brought Thor’s hand to his lips, not breaking eye contact as he pressed a kiss to the knuckles. Thor’s heart stuttered helplessly. He couldn’t say what affected him more: the curve of Loki’s body against his, or the tenderness of a kiss that communicated what words could not.

“Loki…” Thor bowed his head, eyes squeezing shut.

“A new song,” Loki said, for the current one had finally faded away. “Shall we?”

As Loki made to guide them into the next dance, Thor dragged him into an embrace instead. Loki released a tiny huff of surprise, his arms uncertain and hovering at Thor’s shoulders. At first Thor’s chest burned, his body alight with pins and needles, but as the seconds ticked by, the wounds turned numb. Thor pressed his face to Loki’s neck and released a sigh. He cupped the back of his head, weaving fingers into Loki’s hair.

Finally, Loki returned the embrace. One hand found a spot in the middle of Thor’s spine while the other fit soothingly to the back of his neck. He rested his head lightly against Thor’s.

“Are you well?” Loki whispered into Thor’s hair.

Thor laughed a short, breathless sound. “Yes, Loki. I am well.”

They held on for a long time, two souls clinging desperately to one another. Their spirits were enveloped so tight that, for a moment, they appeared one and the same.

The next song played just as slow as the last, and though they did not dance, they did sway.


	12. Chapter 12

Come morning, Thor awoke warm in Loki’s bed. The sky was still dark, dawn only just beginning to break. When his eyes focused, he found his brother’s face inches from his own and soft with sleep. They were sharing the same pillow, Loki’s hair curling beside Thor’s cheek.

Love bloomed within him. There was no stopping it now. At some point, in all the years they’d shared together, the nature of his affection had changed.

There was no hope of turning back. He had no desire to.

Thor caressed Loki’s cheek as he had done the day before. Loki shifted and mumbled something that sounded like a complaint. Thor ran a thumb across his brother’s cheekbone, then brushed gently over one of his eyelids.

Loki peered at Thor through narrow, drowsy eyes. “Too early,” he murmured.

“Sorry,” Thor whispered, although he was still exploring every curve of Loki’s cheeks, his nose, his jaw.

“Mmm.” Loki’s brow pinched, his eyes falling shut. “Sleep, Thor.”

Thor ran his finger between Loki’s eyebrows, smoothing out the crease. “Loki?”

“Mmm?”

“You are lovely.”

He expected a snappy retort, something to dismiss his earnest words. Instead, perhaps because his brother’s mind was still foggy from sleep, Loki hummed a quiet, delighted sound. Gently, he took Thor’s hand and pressed featherlight kisses to the tips of his fingers. He hid a smile in Thor’s palm.

Thor could have wept. He had never known tenderness such as this.

“Sleep,” Loki said.

“All right,” Thor said, and nuzzled closer.

He fell asleep with Loki’s love rolling through him.

 

\---

 

The Avengers gathered on the lawn, the sunlight pleasant against the cool wind running across the field. They had chosen to set up a quarter of a mile away from Avengers HQ, bringing them to the very edge of the lawn and far from the road.

Thor rolled his shoulders, his gaze raking over the equipment assembled before them. There was a robotic contraption that resembled a hollowed out Iron Man suit: it had shoulder pads, shin pads and gloves, all coloured in black and gold; and there was a helmet as well, though it only covered the top of the head, leaving the face exposed. A long, thick cord ran from the suit directly to the Arc Reactor, stretching all the way back to the Avengers Facility. The energy buzzing off the suit was potent enough to raise hairs along Thor’s forearms.

He was excited. Nervous, but excited. His biggest concern presently was that he could accidentally destroy the suit when summoning the Bifröst. Loki, meanwhile, had other concerns.

 _If you run out of energy, you need to pull back_ , he reminded him for the fifth time. _Burning yourself out accomplishes nothing. Utilise the reactor’s energy and my seiðr as much as you are able. Do not—_

“Brother,” Thor said under his breath, “please have a little faith.”

_This has nothing to do with faith!_

“I will heed your warnings.” While Thor was impatient with Loki’s fussing, he was also oddly charmed by it. “I have no intention of burning myself out, I assure you.”

 _When that voice inside your head goads you into doing something reckless,_ Loki said petulantly, _please do the exact opposite._

“Are _you_ not the voice inside my head?” he grinned.

_Thor._

“I take this very seriously,” Thor said, turning away from the others when Natasha caught him whispering to himself. “You need not worry about me, though I believe you will regardless.”

Loki huffed, yet had nothing else to say. Thor smiled triumphantly, then sent a wave of assurances and comfort to his brother. Loki relaxed ever so slightly.

“Ready to go, sports fans!” Tony announced, standing proudly beside his machine. He placed a hand on one of the shoulder pads. “I’m calling this one the Mark Negative. You know, since it’s missing most of its pieces.”

“Am I not the final piece?” Thor asked, approaching Tony with a confident smile.

“That you are. Oh, let’s get that axe off first.”

Thor nodded and unhooked Stormbreaker from his back. He swung it a few times, loosening his muscles.

Tony clapped his hands. “All right, let’s do this!”

Thor was already adorned in his own armour, including his favoured red cape. At first it seemed that the Mark Negative’s shoulder pads would not fit, but then they expanded and wrapped snugly around him. The gloves went through the same process until every piece clicked into place. The metal was strangely warm against his skin.

Tony dragged Thor’s head down and muttered to himself as he adjusted some of the various wires on the top of the helmet. He connected them to a small device in his hand. It had a screen in the centre and at least three different dials surrounding it.

“Now listen,” Tony said, “I’m gonna switch this thing on and it’ll start juicing you up with all that delicious renewable resource. You let me know when you want me to turn up the heat, capiche?”

Thor nodded. Tony clasped him by his shoulder pad. He took a cautious step back, then turned one of the dials.

Thor inhaled sharply. His hair stood on end, a current of electrical energy beginning to course through him. It was oddly familiar, not unlike the lightning housed within him. The energy was softer, however, less destructive.

Thor’s eyes shifted across the faces of his friends. Most of them were somewhere between intrigued and on edge. Bruce was hiding behind a notepad, scribbling fast while he and Tony conversed quietly. Thor caught Rocket’s eye, who offered him a thumbs up.

Thor cracked his neck and took a steadying breath. He faced forward now, holding Stormbreaker before him.

“Ready?” he whispered.

His brother’s seiðr eased through him at a glacial pace. He waited for Loki’s magic to settle before Thor nodded to Tony again. He grimaced this time at the uptick of energy.

_Slowly, Thor._

Thor swallowed, allowing himself to adjust to the various energies running through him. He lifted Stormbreaker to shoulder height, pointing it toward the tree line in the distance. Thor called to the Bifröst, welcoming its energy. With Loki’s aid, it blended smoothly with the seiðr surrounding him, eventually stitching together with the power of the Arc Reactor.

While the energies were coalescing successfully, Thor was already wearing down. He could feel it at his core, as if his spirit was trembling beneath the weight of it all. Loki’s presence was wrapped around him tightly, his body like a phantom pressed protectively to his back.

 _Slowly_ , Loki said again, his voice against his ear, as if he really was there beside him.

“Slowly,” Thor repeated through gritted teeth. “ _Slowly_.”

He began to draw a circle, wrapping the energy of the Bifröst around Stormbreaker. The power beamed from the axehead, a shimmering blue light that lit up the world around them. Clouds formed rapidly overhead, blocking out the sun and reflecting the brilliant light of the Bifröst. Thor kept his focus, his hands clenching hard around his weapon. Sparks started to fly. His friends stepped away, the power in the air serving as a warning to everyone in the near vicinity.

Thor breathed steadily. He continued to carve out the gateway, revealing more and more of the swirling, beautiful light. Thor’s body shook and sweat beaded on his forehead. Loki’s seiðr kept his knees from buckling.

Eventually, the circle was complete. Energy poured from Stormbreaker, drawing over the gateway’s outline over and over until, finally, something began to appear in the centre. The Quantum Realm, Thor thought with determination, willing it to show itself.

And, with another pulse of energy, it did. A whirl of colours emerged from within. The Bifröst’s energy blazed like blue fire around the gateway. One of his friends cheered, but Thor could not turn to see who it was.

 _Let the energy go_ , Loki told him. _It is done._

He released the breath he had been holding, then communed with the Bifröst, releasing its power—

Except it latched on tighter, and _surged._

His hands were locked on Stormbreaker. A tremor ran through his arms, his fingers gripping hard enough to hurt. Thor growled, trying to drop the axe, but it was impossible. In desperation, Thor tried to call out to Tony to cut off the Arc Reactor, but his jaw was clenched shut. He could not move or speak. It was difficult to even breathe.

_Thor, what’s wrong? Thor!_

Now Thor was _really_ feeling the drain. His body quaked, his muscles pulled so taut they might snap. The power of the Arc Reactor and the Bifröst were being devoured by the Quantum Realm, the gateway like a hungry mouth.

“Yo! What’s going on?” someone called — Rocket, he suspected.

“Is he all right?” came Steve’s voice. “Thor?”

White spots formed at the edge of his vision, and suddenly he wasn’t looking at the gateway, but at Asgard instead. The world was blurring, the outline of the gateway still before him, yet the palace rose up around him.

Suddenly, Loki appeared, his hands clutching his face. “Thor, let it go!”

“Something’s wrong,” he forced out, his eyes wide and dazed.

“What do you mean?!” Loki asked, his voice rising with panic.

Before Thor could answer, he shifted back into the Material Plane. The portal was growing, the circle’s edge splintering and cracking. Thor tried yet again to break his connection to the Bifröst, but then he was back with Loki. A second later, Steve and Tony were shaking him by the shoulders. Loki was standing between them, the three of them crowding around Thor, but Steve and Tony were oblivious to Loki’s presence. Loki yelled something at him, his face close enough to obscure his vision entirely, but Thor’s head was spinning, and the pain in his chest was growing, and the wounds were burning so much that he could feel nothing else, and—

Two bodies slammed him into the ground, knocking the wind out of him. He gasped, blinking at the sky. Stormbreaker lay a few feet away, still glowing and sparking with energy. Steve and Tony climbed off him, watching carefully. Natasha was above him then, placing two fingers to his pulse. She hovered her hand above his mouth.

“Hey, can you hear me?” she asked.

Before Thor could answer, Bruce said from somewhere nearby, “Uh, guys?”

They turned to look at the gateway. Thor gritted his teeth and sat up, staring in shock as something grew larger and larger within the gateway. For a moment, it was simply a dark, indistinct silhouette. As it reached the edge of the gateway, however, it appeared to be humanoid.

Someone tumbled onto the grass. They lay on their stomach, arms and legs splayed out. The individual groaned — a male voice.

“Wait,” Tony said. “Is that—?”

“Cap?” the newcomer said. He wore silver and red armour and a helmet that obscured his identity. He unmasked then, revealing a face that Thor did not recognise.

 _“Scott Lang?”_ Steve said in amazement.

“Wait, is that Tony Stark?” Scott clambered to his feet, forming a defensive position. “Am I fighting you now? Or is this a truce?”

“Nah, we’re cool.” Tony waved his hand.

Thor’s eyes darted between them in confusion, forgetting for a second that he was in blistering agony.

Tony continued, “But could you, uh, please explain where the hell you just came from?”

“Oh! Sure, yeah, that’s—” His eyes widened, spinning around to the gateway. “Shoot! Close it! _Close it!”_

“Thor, the gateway is getting bigger,” Bruce said, his eyes large and fearful. “Uh, can you, uh—”

Steve grabbed Thor by his bicep. Clint was at his side then, grabbing the other. With their assistance, Thor stood upright, but the moment they released him, he collapsed. His vision swam with colours, the world blending into an abstract painting.

“Yeah, I think we’re in trouble,” Tony said lightly.

“Thor? Buddy?” Rocket scurried to his side, placing his hand to his forehead. “Guys, he’s burning up pretty bad.”

“Burning up…” Thor murmured, staring at Rocket, then shifting his attention to the three other Rockets. He shook himself and they vanished. “What…?”

“Can _anyone_ close it?” Scott’s voice rose in alarm. “Not to make this any worse, but...”

“But _what?”_ Natasha prompted.

“I was being chased,” Scott said, “and I think they’re still chasing.”

Thor was too far gone to process what was happening. His vision swirled when his friends rolled him onto his back. He stared at the faces of the Avengers until they faded away and Loki was there instead. His brother traced anxious fingers along his hairline.

“Your soul is frayed,” he said, his hands retreating to his chest. White light poured from his palms, but it did nothing to soothe the pain.

“I don’t understand,” Thor murmured. He gazed at Loki, who was focused entirely on Thor’s torso. “Loki, what’s happening?”

He heard Steve say, “Did he just say _Loki?_ ” but he couldn’t see him at all.

“What, is he hallucinating now?” Tony replied, equally invisible to Thor’s eye.

Loki growled, “You burned yourself out.” He cried out a short, sharp sound, and the light grew. It encompassed Thor’s entire body.

“Loki,” Thor said, but he was so _tired_ , he had nothing else to say. “Loki…” He tried to reach for him.

“ _Don’t_ move!” Loki snapped.

“Man, he’s really heating up,” Rocket’s voice drifted from somewhere nearby. “He’s—” he paused, then his voice grew louder. “What the hell is that?”

There was a deafening screech. The sound dragged Thor’s consciousness back to the Material Plane, surrounded by his friends once more. At first, he had no idea what they were staring at, and then—

“Is that a _tardigrade?_ ” Bruce spluttered.

An enormous creature towered over them. Its face was horrifying, with no eyes and an alien, sucking mouth. Its body was round, its skin folded in thick rolls. Six legs supported its mountainous body, claws digging into the earth.

“They’re normally not that big, I swear!” Scott clicked his mask back on. “Move, move, move, move—”

It barreled into them. Natasha, Clint and Rocket managed to dodge, but Tony and Steve took the brunt of it and were sent flying. The creature bared down at Thor then, its mouth close enough to reveal a set of teeth. A claw slammed into Thor’s shoulder.

 _Thor, you_ really _need to get up now._

Thor gasped and struggled, but then another claw punctured his stomach.

_Call your lightning! Call Stormbreaker!_

The moment he tried, his entire body spasmed. Pain was all he knew, his vision turning dark for a few seconds. When it returned, Thor blinked sluggishly at the creature’s hideous face. Something oozed from its mouth, landing on Thor’s cheek.

Thor closed his eyes. “Loki...I can’t, I—”

Seiðr surged through him. Loki’s presence filled every inch of him, and suddenly there was a blade in his hand. Without any input from Thor whatsoever, his arm drove a dagger into the side of the creature’s neck. It staggered, screeching. Its claws released him.

Thor was on his feet. With Loki at the helm, another blade appeared and he drove them both into its body. One sunk into its neck again while the other penetrated a shoulder. The creature rounded on Thor, but then green magic curled around his hands and shot forward, blasting its face. Magic fired in rapid succession, hitting its head, its shoulders, its gut. Loki summoned a number of blades then and flung them at the creature, each blade sinking deep into flesh. Purplish liquid seeped from its injuries. It shrieked and stumbled, then geared up to charge.

Suddenly, an arrow came whistling past his cheekbone. It pierced straight through the creature’s head, peeking through the other side of its neck. The creature groaned, all six legs struggling to stay standing, before collapsing heavily onto the earth.

Waves of magic smoked off Thor’s body, his palms tingling with energy. Loki turned to see Clint lowering his bow, but an arrow was still held loosely in his fingers. He regarded Thor with an unreadable expression.

“Whoa!” Scott said, popping open his mask. “What was that?! I had no idea you could do that! I thought you were all thunder and zap, zap, zap.”

“Yeah,” Natasha said, approaching Thor cautiously. “What _was_ that?”

Loki stared at her through Thor’s eyes, his fingers twitching. The rest of the Avengers gathered around, most of them wearing matching expressions of confusion. Bruce’s eyes were narrowed, something like understanding reflected on his face.

“Bruce,” Loki said imploringly, “Thor is in trouble.”

Bruce’s eyes widened. Before he could respond, Tony stepped between them.

“Is your brain scrambled?” He waved a hand in Thor’s face. “Now you’re standing there talking in third person.”

Loki stared at Tony coolly. Then, he relinquished his control over Thor’s body, forcing him back into the driver’s seat.

Thor blacked out before his body hit the ground.

 

\---

 

He drifted in darkness for who knows how long. It was peaceful; a relief from the agony twisting his body. It would be tempting, he thought, to remain here and give in to the dark.

A light was shining on him then, dragging him back to consciousness. He expected to see the open sky, the gateway, but instead there was only Loki. One hand rested on Thor’s chest while the other curved around his head. Loki smiled weakly as Thor blinked up at him.

“You are not lost to me yet,” Loki exhaled.

Thor lied with his head in his brother’s lap. He peered at their tree above them, afternoon sunlight dancing between the leaves. Thor glanced around the courtyard, then down to the hand on his chest. Light pulsed non-stop into his sternum. Thor’s chest tingled, the pain needling beneath his ribs.

He inhaled shakily. “What happened?”

Loki’s lips pressed to a thin line. “The gateway drew too much energy from you. Your spirit was overwhelmed. You are burning away.” He trailed his knuckles across Thor’s forehead. “I have managed to slow the process, but...you are not healing.”

Thor swallowed. “And my friends, how do they fair?”

“More monstrosities come,” Loki said grimly. “The portal is unstable. Some of your mortals are still down there fighting them back.”

“And...and where are we now, brother?”

Loki closed his eyes then, his seiðr tickling Thor’s skin. Thor’s vision changed at once, and instead he was staring up into Bruce’s and Tony’s faces.

Thor was lying flat on a table in the lab, a fluorescent bulb glaring down at him. His body was alight with fever, goosebumps raised along his exposed arms. Much of his armour had been stripped off. He was down to his slacks and a thin undershirt. Tony held a tiny knife which he used to cut away at his shirt.

 _What do you intend to do?_ Thor asked them, but his mouth did not move.

Loki’s voice called him back to the courtyard.

“I told them to inspect the scar on your chest,” Loki said. “It is greatly inflamed.”

“I see.” Thor frowned. Loki had been in an anxious frenzy before, yet now he seemed perfectly calm. “Brother...what’s on your mind?”

Loki offered him a bittersweet smile. “Many things.”

“Such as…?”

“I know how to fix you, brother.” He smoothed a thumb across Thor’s brow. “You will be restored very soon.”

Dread crept into Thor’s stomach. “How?”

Suddenly, Tony’s voice echoed throughout the courtyard. “Christ, what the hell…”

Thor blinked and was looking up at his friends again. Tony and Bruce leaned over him, sharing horrified expressions. Thor could see the raised scar on his chest, a grotesque thing made of bubbling, purplish red skin.

“It’s going to _burst_ ,” Bruce said. “The pressure building beneath the scar tissue, it’s...”

Despite being present with his friends, he could still feel Loki’s gentle hand trailing across his face. However, no matter how soft his ministrations, it did not prepare him for what came next:

“Cut it open.”

Thor’s heart leapt to his throat.

 _What are you doing?_ Thor demanded. _Are you mad?_

“Cut it open, Bruce,” Loki said again through Thor’s lips.

“Are you sure?” Bruce asked, his brow pinched. “What will happen to…?”

“It will be all right,” Loki assured him. “Everything will be fine.”

_Loki, stop this right now!_

“If—if you’re sure…”

“Hey, you heard him,” Tony said with a shrug. “It’ll ease the pressure, right? It’s a smart move.”

 _No, Banner! Stark!_ Thor cried frantically. _Do not listen to him!_

While Tony seemed oblivious, Bruce’s expression was grim. He knew it was Loki who asked this of him. And then, to Thor’s utter horror, Bruce nodded.

Thor tore himself away, fixing his sight on Loki. Loki’s eyes were closed, focused only on the light emanating from his hand.

“Listen to me, brother,” Thor said, twisting a hand in Loki’s robes. “This is reckless. We do not know what will happen if they cut into the mark.”

“It will sever my connection to you,” Loki said, his voice still infuriatingly calm. “My spirit is leeching off your own. Your soul is bleeding energy so that I may heal; it has been for weeks. Though I have tried, I cannot seem to give it back.” He looked at Thor, something solemn in the curve of his mouth. “So long as I am tied to you, you cannot heal. Your spirit will perish.”

“But we can wait, brother. Tell them to stop!” He shook his brother. “Your vessel is nearly ready, Loki. We can break the connection once you have a body of your own! It is only a few more days.”

Without a vessel, nothing would bind his brother to the world of the living. Loki would move on to the afterlife. He would be beyond Thor’s reach...and Thor would be utterly _alone_.

“While I appreciate your confidence in me, I cannot keep you here for much longer,” Loki said, carding fingers through his hair. “I can hold you for a handful of hours. Any longer than that, then I will burn myself out in the process. It would cost us both our lives.” A soothing, affectionate emotion passed from Loki to Thor. “There is no need for you to die.”

The gravity of Loki’s words slammed into him.

“You intend to sacrifice yourself.”

Loki’s lips quirked. There was a sadness in his eyes. “After all this time...does that surprise you, Thor?”

Thor released an anguished cry. He forced himself back into the Material Plane and watched, terrified, as Bruce prepared his skin for the incision.

 _NO!_ Thor yelled, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not make his body move. Loki was blocking him. Thor wasn’t strong enough.

Bruce held the knife just above the scar. There was a moment of hesitation.

_Bruce, stop it! STOP IT!_

When the blade carefully pierced the scar, Thor’s entire body quaked. Slowly, Bruce dragged the blade down, the scar weeping blood.

Thor returned to his brother. Loki was gazing at Thor with such warmth it could melt a glacier.

“Loki,” he begged, “Loki, do not do this. Please.”

He traced Thor’s jawline. Simply, he said, “I must.”

The ground beneath them started to shake. Loki winced, eyes squeezing closed. Pain rolled through them both. Thor could feel the small blade in his chest, the incision stretching lower and lower. Loki curled in on himself, his hair falling across Thor’s face. A second later, in Thor’s peripheries, he saw a chunk of the palace crumble away and crash into the garden.

Asgard was collapsing.

“No,” Thor whimpered, grief suffocating him, “no, no, no—”

Thor’s grip tightened in his robes.

“Loki, _Loki_ , please. _Please_ , brother. _Look at me!_ ” he shouted, his eyes blurring with tears. Loki’s eyes remained closed, his face contorted with pain. “Brother, listen, just _listen_ , there is another way—”

“No, brother,” Loki said, the hand on Thor’s chest trembling. “There is no time. There is no other way.”

“ _Stop!_ ” He clawed at Loki, twisting in his arms. Loki forced him to stay where he was. He was too weak to fight back. “Don’t do this!”

“It is too late, Thor. Bruce has—”

“ _Don’t leave me!”_

Loki swallowed. His eyes opened, staring down at him with tears caught in his eyelashes. Thor inhaled a great lungful of air.

“I beg of you, Loki, do not leave me alone.”

“Thor…”

“You are all I have,” he whispered. “I need you, brother.”

“I’m sorry,” Loki said, biting down on his trembling lower lip. “I really am.”

“Let us go together,” Thor said, taking hold of Loki’s collar. “If we cannot stay here, then let us go to the next life. Be it Valhalla or Hel, you will never know loneliness. You will have me at your side. You will have me _always_ , brother, if you would just permit it.”

As they gazed at one another, that dreaded, awful white emptiness crept across the sky. The world was rapidly being devoured. The palace turned to dust, the warmth of the sun vanished, and the scent of Frigga’s flowers faded away.

Loki gave him a small smile.

“No, Thor.”

“ _Damn you!”_ Thor wept, tugging him closer. “Damn you, Loki.”

“Death will not claim you,” Loki said firmly despite the shake in his voice. “You will live.”

“Why, Loki?” he whispered, his cheeks damp with tears. “Why?”

“Why, indeed.”

A tear fell, landing beside Thor’s cheek. Loki lowered his mouth to Thor’s temple, exhaling into his skin, “Love has made me a fool.”

Thor clutched Loki’s shoulders, drawing him ever closer. He could feel Loki’s smile against his forehead.

“But I am your fool,” Loki whispered. “I always was. I always will be.”

The final remnant of Asgard, the tree at Loki’s back, turned to ash. Thor, shivering with grief, brushed his lips to Loki’s cheek. Moments before oblivion, Thor found his voice:

“And I am yours.”

Thor slipped through Loki’s arms. He fell down, down, down, until he crashed onto cold tiles.

He landed in the lab. Thor lied face down on the floor with the medical table tipped over on top of him. There was so much _noise_ : papers flapping, machines crashing, sparks flying. There was a furious wind billowing inside the room. His chest screamed with pain, blood smearing over the floor. He was so dizzy he could vomit.

Tony and Bruce were shouting something. He groaned and lifted his head with a monumental amount of strength.

There, in the centre of the room, was a star.

 _His_ star.

Thor pushed up to his hands and knees, staring in wonder at Loki’s untethered soul. He was far greater in size, brighter and stronger than when Thor found him all those weeks ago. The energy radiating from him was overwhelming. Tony was buried beneath a stack of equipment while Bruce was pinned to the wall, his feet not even touching the ground. Loki’s energy, however, had no effect on Thor whatsoever. It caressed his skin, unable to do anything except blow wind through Thor’s hair.

He watched as Loki’s spirit began to tremble. With nothing to bind him to this world, Loki would not linger much longer.

Thor set his jaw. It was now or never.

He tried to stand but could only sit up on his knees. His eyes darted around the room, locating Stormbreaker beside the door. Thor called to it and gasped when pain shot through his body. Dark spots threatened to claim his vision, but then Stormbreaker landed in his palm, grounding him. Thor gripped it with both hands and thought of that pocket dimension, of Loki’s vessel. The Bifröst came to him readily, but he had no strength left to trace a circle.

Out of both time and options, Thor roared and swung the axe with all his might. He carved a gash into the air and the Bifröst filled it, forcing it open until there was a perfectly round gateway.

Blinding light burst from within. The room shook violently, a tremor Thor felt in his bones. Loki’s spirit unleashed a high-pitched, deafening sound, then dove for the light. The gateway erupted, shattering the glass walls. Thor was flung backward into machinery.

At once, everything stopped. There was no light, no sound. Thor coughed and rolled to his side. His ears were ringing. Blood was still seeping from his chest, running in thick trails down his stomach. Bruce groaned from the floor, nursing a nasty bump to his head.

Thor heard a sound then: quick, shallow breaths. They were coming from the centre of the room. As the dust settled, he saw a body.

He had no strength to walk or crawl. Thor slid to his stomach and dragged himself on his elbows. His chest burned incessantly. He kept going, grunting with every movement.

When he finally saw Loki, his heart stopped.

His brother was covered in blood. He was completely unclothed and much of his exposed skin was grazed and weeping. One of his legs was painfully deformed, the muscles far too thin. There were strange wounds around one of his shoulders, his hips and right clavicle, as if bones or muscle were missing entirely.

There was something else about his skin, however — some of it was pale, Aesir flesh, but much of it was dark blue. Pearly white kynlines decorated his blue skin, swirling from his forehead down to his feet.

His brother’s true form revealed at last.

The spell their father cast all those centuries ago was still in place, the glamour trying to crawl its way across his skin. With so much damage, however, it seemed the glamour could only cover so much: his right arm, large parts of his torso, and smaller patches across his body. His skin was a mess of blue, white and bloodied red.

As he gazed upon his brother’s broken form, Thor had never felt so sick in his life. He forced himself to focus instead on the elegant curves of Loki’s face and the black hair that framed his cheeks. Despite his blue skin, his face was whole, undamaged and comfortingly familiar.

However, there was pain in his expression. Loki’s breaths were short, wet gasps. His ribs stuttered with every movement. His hands clawed at his sides.

“I’m so sorry,” Thor said, his voice hoarse. “Loki, are you with me?”

Loki moaned pitifully. His entire body was wracked with shivers and spasms.

Thor spotted his red cape lying nearby. He snagged it and draped it over his brother. Loki moaned again, shivering relentlessly. His eyes fluttered open, revealing crimson irises. His gaze was unseeing, staring right past Thor.

“Loki?” he whispered, tentatively looping a finger through his hair. He found the braid plaited neatly to the side. “Brother?”

Loki did not react. His lip trembled and a low, long whine creeped out of his throat.

It was all too much: the sight of his brother, the metallic taste of blood in the air. Suddenly, static flooded Thor’s vision. He shook himself and his sight returned, but then it blurred again. His head hit the floor beside Loki’s. He curled in beside him, his nose pressed into his hair.

“Loki?” he mumbled. “Please...are you with me?”

A pair of hands found him then. Thor blinked away the static and saw Bruce crouching over his brother. He slipped on gloves before he loosened the cape around Loki. Someone rolled Thor onto his back. He was met with Tony’s creased brow and sharp eyes.

Tony said something. Thor turned back towards Loki, who was being checked over by Bruce. Tony took Thor’s chin and drew him back, saying something else. Thor groaned, eyes squeezing shut.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Tony said, his words warped and strange. “Stay with me, Strongest Avenger.”

Thor squinted at him. Tony held up his hand in Thor’s face.

“How many fingers am I holding, huh?”

Thor groaned and looked to Loki once more. His eyes widened when he saw Bruce preparing some kind of needle, angling it to Loki’s neck. Thor swiped weakly at Bruce but Tony grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t look at them. Focus on me,” Tony said.

“My brother, he’s…” Thor shifted, trying to roll away from Tony’s hands. “Please, he’s—”

“Hey, shh. Shh. We’ve got him,” Tony said, his voice patient, gentle.

“Do not hurt him,” Thor pleaded. He grasped urgently at Tony’s shirt.

“Easy, buddy,” Tony said, prying Thor’s hand away.

“Please, _please_ don’t—”

“We won’t hurt him. I promise.”

Thor sighed with relief. “Thank you.” His eyes slipped shut. Tony jostled him and Thor’s head lolled to the side. “Th—thank you...”

“Thor, hey, stay with m…” Tony’s voice faded away.

And then there was nothing.


	13. Chapter 13

For the first time in weeks, Thor woke up alone.

He had not seen this room before. It was a recovery room judging by the various beeping medical equipment around him. The walls were bare and the floor was made of plain white tiles, but there was a large window on the opposite side of the room that offered a view of the city. It was night-time now and rain fell heavy against the glass.

Thor removed the intravenous needle from his forearm, hissing at the sting, and then sat up. The long gown he was dressed in split open at his back. He spied a dressing gown in the corner but made no move towards it. A headache bloomed beneath his eyes. He sighed, massaging his brow. His mind was completely and utterly scrambled.

At that moment, Rocket entered the room. He jerked back in surprise. “Hey, you’re up!”

“Indeed I am.” Thor blinked at Rocket slowly. “What happened?”

“Uh, it’s...complicated,” Rocket said, drawing closer. His paws were twitching with nervous energy. “I’ll go grab Banner. He can explain everything.”

In an instant, Thor’s memories came crashing back: Bruce hovering over Loki’s broken body. Bruce injecting something into Loki’s neck.

There was no reassuring presence beneath his ribs. Thor was so _empty_.

He was on his feet. “Where is Loki?”

Rocket raised his arms placatingly. “Thor, just a sec, okay? Let me find Banner and—”

Thor snagged the dressing gown and marched straight past him. Rocket scrambled after him, calling out for him to stop. Thor ignored him, following the hallway to the end and turning right. There was a door on his left and Clint was stationed right outside.

Clint regarded Thor coolly. “You’re awake.”

“Where is my brother?” Thor growled. He had no patience for his friends right now. His chest was achingly hollow; he could think of no one but Loki.

Clint narrowed his eyes. He jerked a shoulder at the door. “He’s in here. Alive.”

A tiny bubble of relief appeared inside him. “Then I must go to him.”

Clint, who was blocking the door, looked very much like he had no intention of moving. He sized up Thor, folding his arms over his chest. “Just answer me something first.”

Thor growled again. “You have every reason to hate him, Barton, but you will not prevent me from seeing him.”

“Oh, I know,” Clint said, “but answer me this first: why bring him here? Why bring him to Earth?” His eyes were full of hatred, but sorrow lingered, too. “He went out of his way to help Thanos. You know, the guy who killed off half the universe.”

Thor set his jaw. “He received judgement on Asgard.”

“Thanos is the reason my wife is _dead!"_ Clint snapped, striding up to Thor so there was less than a foot between them. Clint stared up at him, eyes shining with furious tears. None fell.

Thor watched him silently, one hand clenched.

“He might be family to you, but he’s my enemy,” Clint hissed. “More than anything, I want him dead.”

Thor shoved him away, his teeth bared. Clint regarded him venomously, then turned on his heel. Thor stared after him until he disappeared behind a corner. He inhaled, glancing back at Rocket. Rocket stared at him with a complicated expression.

“Banner’s inside,” Rocket said eventually. “Go. I’ll be here.”

Thor nodded stiffly and opened the door.

The room was vastly different to Thor’s. There were no other doors or windows, and painted cement covered the floors and walls, making the room cold and unwelcoming. There was no other furniture besides a couple of chairs, a bed and a table lined with medical devices. Bruce, sitting at the table, turned to Thor.

“Hey,” he said grimly. “Thor, how are—?”

His question went unheard. Thor went immediately to the bed, staring down at Loki’s unconscious form. There was an intravenous needle in his arm hooked up to a fluid bag. His body was covered in thick, looping bandages, and a cast protected his mangled leg. Blood and moisture were beginning to seep through. His skin was raw and peeling in certain areas. Although much of the blood had been cleaned up, his skin was still a mix of blue and white.

“Thor, he’s…”

Bruce’s voice was closer now. Thor could not look at him.

Bruce sighed. “I’m not gonna lie to you, Thor...he’s not well.”

“What ails him?” Thor whispered.

Bruce ran through an exhaustive list. His leg seemed to be the least of his worries, although it would cause tremendous pain if Loki ever tried to walk again. The problems went on and on until Thor had to interrupt him.

“What of his heart?”

Bruce smiled a little. “Far stronger than it has any right to be.”

“I picked it myself,” Thor told him, thinking of the vitality of the Everlast’s roots and its rich, dark green leaves. “At least I did not fail him there.”

“You picked out a _heart?_ ” Bruce asked in disbelief. “Thor...how did you _do_ this?”

Thor recounted the ritual. His voice was quiet, flat. Grief was suffocating him so much it was difficult to speak. He gazed at Loki the entire time, at the twitching of his eyelids, the rapid rise and fall of his chest, and the long hair spilled across the pillow.

Once he’d heard everything, Bruce shook his head. “Did you tell anyone about any of this?”

“Only Loki and I knew.” Thor tore his eyes from Loki to meet Bruce’s stare. “Bruce...you have to save him.”

“Thor, I—”

“Please.”

Bruce looked at him sadly. “I don’t know if I can.”

Thor clenched his jaw to stop his trembling. He inhaled a long, steadying breath. “Please, Bruce.”

“I will do whatever I can. You know that.”

Clint’s words haunted him. A part of him wondered whether Loki was a monster in Bruce’s eyes, too.

Eventually, however, Thor nodded. “Thank you, my friend.”

“I was about to change his bandages, actually,” Bruce said, showing the roll of cotton in his palm.

Thor noticed Bruce’s hands then. They were bandaged as well, though the tips of his fingers were exposed and dark red.

“What happened?” Thor asked.

“It’s his blue skin,” Bruce said, frowning at Loki. “Sometimes it’s just...cold. But when he wakes up, sometimes his skin starts to get _frosty_ , like—”

“He has awoken?” Thor interjected, hope flickering in his chest.

“For a few minutes at a time,” Bruce winced. “He’s—he’s pretty delirious, though. Doesn’t seem to know where he is or who I am.”

Thor’s stomach clenched. If his brother had lost his memories again…

“But not always,” Bruce said reassuringly. “Sometimes he freaks, other times I’ve been able to talk to him. He seems to recognise me when he’s lucid. When he freaks out though, his skin is like ice.” He wiggled his fingers and grimaced. “Steve was helping me earlier. He got frostbite pretty bad.”

“I’m sorry,” Thor sighed. “He is a Frost Giant. He has never taken his true form around me, so I know little of his abilities.”

“I don’t think he was trying to hurt us,” Bruce said. “Even with Steve, he apologised once he realised what he did.”

Loki _apologised?_ His brother really was delirious.

“I guess this is what you meant by _adopted_ , huh?” Bruce said, his lips quirking in an awkward smile. Thor huffed a laugh.

“How can I help?” he asked.

Bruce guided Thor through the process. Mostly he was holding Loki’s limbs or rolling him over, then assisting Bruce with peeling away the tape to unwind the bandages. As the cotton fell away, it revealed oozing, blistered skin. At least his Aesir flesh was smooth and healthy. Thor’s hands lingered there while Bruce worked. The skin felt achingly familiar, just like Loki’s old body, only it was far colder. Even in sleep, Loki shivered constantly.

“It’s hard to keep his body temperature balanced,” Bruce said apologetically. “His, uh, his Frost Giant skin wants to be nice and cold, but his—his _Asgard_ skin wants to be warm. This is the most comfortable I can make him.”

It was definitely cold in here, the air-conditioner whining from its corner of the room. Thor hadn’t noticed before, but Bruce was wearing two layers. Thor’s skin prickled unpleasantly, but he barely felt it. He did not feel much of anything at the moment, except the nausea lurking in the pit of his stomach.

As Bruce applied tape to the bandages at Loki’s back, his brother stirred. He mumbled something, his brow furrowing with pain.

“Loki,” Thor said softly, cupping the back of his head.

Loki shuddered, his eyes opening halfway. Although Thor made eye contact with those red irises, Loki did not react. A moment later, Loki fell unconscious once more.

“His vision is impaired.”

“What?” Thor jerked back to Bruce.

“Blind, I think.” Bruce smoothed a palm over Loki’s bandages. “He hasn’t responded to any visual stimuli. Not yet, anyway.”.

Thor curled inward with despair. He folded his arms on the mattress and rested his forehead against them.

“Please save him,” Thor said, his throat tight. No tears came, but the sorrow in his chest was overwhelming.

“I’ll do whatever I can,” Bruce reiterated. He patted Thor on the back, and after several minutes, he shuffled out the door with the promise he’d return.

Thor reached for Loki’s hand, the one that was healthy and Aesir. He massaged his chilled skin, pressing warmth into his flesh. Loki did not react. Thor held on regardless.

 

\---

 

A day passed. Loki did not wake and Thor did not sleep.

He knew the gateway was still open. More of those faceless creatures had emerged from the portal. Their numbers were few and irregular, so only two or three of the Avengers remained on guard, taking out any that showed themselves. Thor recognised that he should help considering it was his fault that the gateway was open in the first place, but no one had come to him for aid. Besides, he could not close the portal now. Without Loki’s seiðr, he was useless.

For the most part, his friends let him be. Bruce was the only one who came to Loki’s room frequently, continuing to monitor him and change his bandages. He often heard Steve and Tony out in the hallway conversing quietly with Clint. Thor was always on edge when they were nearby. He grew paranoid, wondering what they might be planning.

He could trust Bruce not to hurt Loki. Rocket as well, he supposed, although his friend had not visited Thor since witnessing his and Clint’s confrontation. Thanos was responsible for the Guardians’ deaths as well. It would hardly be surprising if he had turned against Loki, too.

Later that night, Natasha came to him. Her approach was slow, her footsteps loud enough to grab Thor’s attention. He faced her, his hand remaining entangled with Loki’s. He leaned forward slightly, putting himself between her and his brother.

“You should rest,” she said, not bothering with a greeting. Her voice was hushed, however, and not unkind.

“I cannot,” he said.

“You can. I’ll watch him.”

Thor narrowed his eyes. “No. I will stay.”

Natasha inclined her head. There was a pause, and then she sighed and folded her arms.

“Look, I’ve hurt people for less than what he’s done,” she said, “but I’m not going to hurt someone in his condition. I’m above that.”

“You hate him,” Thor stated.

“Of course,” she replied, “but you don’t.”

Thor tightened his hold on Loki’s hand. She quirked a challenging brow.

“This might come as a surprise, but I’m not totally heartless,” she said.

“I never thought you were.”

“Our friendship means something to me,” she continued, “and I am not looking to betray you. You can trust me.”

Thor assessed her, reading every tiny detail of her expression, her body language, looking for the lie. “And what of Barton?”

“Clint? He’s not going to hurt him.”

“That is not what he told me,” Thor growled.

“He loathes him,” she acknowledged. “Loki took control of his mind. Forced him to fight his friends, to hurt people. Still, Clint pities him,” she said, her gaze falling to Loki’s broken form. “Right now, Loki is weak. Clint won't kill him. None of us will.”

Thor looked away. The muscle in his jaw jumped. His other hand, the one in his lap, clenched into a tight fist.

“I want to believe you,” he confessed. “With all my heart, I do...but you must understand why I cannot.” He met her gaze fiercely. “He is my brother. He is all I have. Despite all his flaws, all of his trickery and deceit, his place in my heart is immovable.” He blinked away the moisture from his eyes. “Without him, my life is forfeit. For me to trust you now...it would be a risk.”

She watched him carefully, eventually nodding. “Yeah, I get it.”

She left him alone then. Thor spent several minutes in silence, rubbing a thumb over Loki’s knuckles. However, there was shuffling outside, then the door was pushed open.

“Where do you want it?” Tony asked. He and Natasha were carrying a mattress, looking at Thor expectantly.

“What are you…?”

“ _Just here on the floor_ ,” Tony said, imitating Thor’s deeper voice. “Perfect, we’ll put it right there.”

They laid out the mattress at Thor’s feet, right beside Loki’s bed. Rocket appeared then with a pillow and sheets. The three of them efficiently set up the bed, and then Steve was there beside them with a bowl of food in his hands.

“We had leftover curry,” he explained, offering the bowl to Thor.

Steve’s forearm was heavily bandaged, undoubtedly protecting the recent burn of frostbite. Thor took the curry, blinking owlishly up at him.

“There’s no reason to starve yourself,” Steve said. “You need your strength.”

“And some sleep,” Natasha said pointedly.

Thor gazed at the four of them. The warmth in their eyes, the reassuring smiles...Thor had not anticipated this.

“Thank you,” he said, cradling the bowl to his chest. “This is… Words cannot adequately express my gratitude.”

“No thanks necessary,” Steve said with a two fingered salute. “It’s the least we can do.”

They all filed out of the room except Rocket, who shuffled closer. His ears were drooping and his face was furrowed in contemplation. When he found his voice, his ears perked up.

“For what it’s worth, I hope he makes it.”

Thor’s hands tightened around the bowl. “You wish that despite his past allegiance to Thanos?”

“Yeah, despite all that,” he said, scratching the side of his neck. “I mean, Gamora was on Thanos’s side for years. She was his _daughter_ , but that didn’t worry me.” He shrugged. “People show you who they really are if you look beyond their past. I stand by what I said before: anybody who stands up to Thanos is a badass in my books, so...yeah. If anyone can get through this, he can.”

“Thank you,” Thor said, and the weight on his shoulders eased just a little.

 

\---

 

Thor claimed a few hours of uneasy sleep. Despite being on the floor, the mattress was surprisingly comfortable. The blankets were a welcome shield against the air-conditioning. His bowl of half-eaten curry sat on the floor beside his head.

It was difficult to say what time it was. Without windows, he had no idea if the sun was up. His eyes were dry and aching, and his stomach twisted unhappily. He released a groan and massaged his eyelids.

“Thor?”

Thor scrambled to his knees. Loki was staring at the ceiling, blinking slowly. He turned his head in Thor’s direction, not quite meeting his gaze.

“ _Loki_ ,” Thor said, nearly choking on his name. He sat heavily on the edge of the bed. An overwhelming emotion settled in his chest: something like relief, love, grief and anguish all at once.

“And here I thought a bear was snoring beside me,” Loki said, lips twisting into a smirk.

Thor laughed weakly. He took Loki’s hand in both of his, bringing his brother’s knuckles to his lips. He exhaled against his cool skin, pressing the softest of kisses to the back of his hand.

“Are you in pain?” Thor whispered.

“Not at all,” Loki said easily. “Bruce has injected all sorts of concoctions into me. I am perfectly numb.”

“You need not lie on my account, brother.”

Loki closed his eyes for a moment and released a sigh. “I’m sure I make quite a spectacle,” he said instead, staring through glazed eyes just beyond Thor’s head. “Part-Aesir, part-Jötunn. If my eyes were not so useless, I’d rather like to see such a monstrous sight.”

“Loki, you are no monster.”

“An abomination, then,” Loki said with a bitter smile. “A patchwork nightmare. An eldritch horror.”

“My closest friend, my dearest brother,” Thor said. “No matter what form you take, I would know you anywhere.”

Loki rolled his eyes. Softly, he said, “You are terribly embarrassing.”

“To a fault,” Thor agreed, smiling against Loki’s hand. “Yet you would have me no other way. And I would have you no other way: my Asgardian, Frost Giant, trickster brother.”

Loki’s hand clenched around Thor’s fingers, tight enough to hurt, and then released. He trailed a knuckle along Thor’s lower lip, then fitted his hand against his jaw. Tentatively, he brushed a thumb through Thor’s beard. Thor covered Loki’s hand with his own, holding it in place.

“Listen, Thor...” Loki said tiredly. His eyes were half-lidded and drowsy, but there was urgency in his voice as well. He swallowed and said, “You need to close the gateway.”

“How?” Thor sighed.

“You know how. We have practiced enough.”

“I do not have the gift of seiðr like you, Loki. I cannot close it.”

“Those are the words of a coward,” Loki scoffed. “There is no other option. You waste your time by my bedside, brother.”

“I will not leave you.”

“Thor…” Loki’s chest stuttered on his next breath. “You have no choice. I cannot help you now.”

“I will return to Álfheimr,” Thor said, his voice shaky but determined. “And then I will journey to Jötunheimr, then to Niflheimr. I will create a new body—”

“Thor.”

“—and we will let it grow to completion. You need only survive until then.”

“You ask too much of me,” Loki said sadly. His thumb caught a tear on Thor’s cheek. “Close the gateway. Practice your seiðr. Enter the Quantum Realm when you are ready and use the time vortex to save our people. Who knows,” he said shakily, “you might save me next time round.”

Thor shook his head with despair. “I saw your soul,” he said, another tear joining the other. “I saw you, Loki, brighter than any star I have ever seen. You are _strong_. You can survive this.”

“We are out of time, Thor,” Loki said softly. “ _I_ am out of time.”

“ _No_ ,” Thor growled, outrage simmering in his blood. “Do not speak like this.”

“We cannot outrun death, brother.” Loki’s eyes slipped shut. “And I do not want to. Not this time.”

Thor’s heart fractured at those words. “You would truly give up?”

“I should have died with honour on the Statesman,” Loki said bitterly. “I should have died facing down our greatest enemy. I should have died to save my brother. Perhaps that deed would have been heroic enough to appease the gods. I could have actually tricked my way into Valhalla.”

Thor squeezed Loki’s hand. He bit the inside of his cheek, drawing blood.

“Yet here we are,” Loki said, squeezing his eyes shut. He clenched his jaw, trying to stop the trembling of his lower lip. The beeping from one of the machines increased. “There is no honour in this death.”

Thor hunched over Loki then, wrapping himself closer and pressing a kiss to his hairline. His skin was icy but his kynlines were soft and smooth against Thor’s mouth. He nuzzled into Loki’s hair and curled a hand around his head, tucking his brother beneath his chin.

“I am to die as a hideous _abomination_ ,” Loki growled, his body shaking so much he was almost convulsing. “I am to join our sister in Hel.”

“I will not let that happen.”

Loki shook his head. He trembled violently in Thor’s arms. He choked out a sob.

“I am never going to see Mother again.”

Suddenly, the dam broke — Loki released a furious wail and slammed his fists against the mattress. A wave of seiðr pulsed out of him, knocking equipment off the table. He cried out and unleashed another wave, trying to throw Thor off, but it did nothing. Instead, his seiðr was harmless, familiar; it recognised Thor. He could not harm him.

His Jötunn skin _did_ freeze Thor, however, and his clothing stuck to his flesh. Loki clawed at his arm and _screamed_.

The door slammed open. Bruce hurried inside with Steve on his heels. Thor curled protectively around Loki even as he thrashed against him. Loki seemed completely unaware of anyone else in the room. He snarled and tried to slam his head into Thor’s.

“If you try to bring me back, if you try to save me, I will _kill you_ , Thor! Do you understand?!”

“Yes, Loki,” Thor murmured, maintaining a calm composure despite his brother’s rage. “I understand.”

“You don’t!” Loki gasped. “You will always play the hero! You will try and save me, your wretched brother, but I do not want to be saved!”

“I know, Loki.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bruce preparing an injection. It would put Loki to sleep, Thor knew. He lifted a hand, halting Bruce in his tracks. Steve hovered nearby, looking ready to pin Loki down if needed.

“Promise me, Thor! Promise you will not save me!” Loki shouted. He dug nails into Thor’s arm, the skin turning black around Loki’s fingertips. He barely felt it.

“I promise, Loki,” he intoned.

“You’re _lying!”_

“I am not lying, Loki.”

“You have to let me die,” Loki beat a fist weakly at Thor’s shoulder. “You have to, Thor. _Please_.”

Thor nodded, forcing himself to say it. “I will let you die, Loki.”

Loki cried out, hitting Thor’s shoulder again and again. Finally, with a broken sob, his fists uncurled. He clung desperately to Thor’s clothing, shoving his face into his neck. Loki’s face was freezing cold, his tears turning to tiny pinpricks of ice.

“I don’t want to die.” Loki shuddered. “Not like this.”

“I know, Loki,” Thor said softly. “I won’t let you die.”

He stroked a hand on the back of his head. Slowly, the chill of Loki’s body faded, his skin no longer dangerous to touch.

Thor glanced at Bruce and Steve and jerked his head towards the door. Steve nodded solemnly before dutifully leaving them. Bruce lingered to assess the various beeping monitors. Once satisfied, he crept silently out of the room. As Thor watched them go, he locked eyes with Clint who lingered in the doorway. His expression was difficult to read. Clint said nothing and closed the door.

As Loki shivered in his arms, Thor shifted him so there was enough room for them to lie side by side. He kept the sheet between them so he did not brush up against any damaged skin.

“It was my time,” Loki whispered. “Thanos murdered me then and there. Why couldn’t you have just let me die?”

Thor kissed the crown of his head. “You know why.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

Loki exhaled through his mouth, his breath warm against Thor’s exposed collarbones. More tears came then, landing on Thor’s skin. Thor pulled back enough to see Loki’s face. His skin shone with tear tracks and his eyelashes were damp and sticking to his cheeks. Loki shied away from him, ashamed.

A memory came to Thor then, one that he had lived through very recently: he and Loki in the courtyard, lying together beneath their tree; Loki complaining of a headache and looking to Thor, silently asking him to take the pain away.

Carefully, Thor pressed fingers to Loki’s forehead and smoothed back his frown. He traced the shapes of his kynlines, moving in circles along his brow and down the sides of his face. He brushed along his hairline and his eyelids, then up the bridge of his nose. He stroked between his eyebrows as Loki wept, his brother’s body shaking with exhaustion. Thor hushed him softly, massaging his brow until, finally, he quietened.

Loki released a long exhale. “You don’t have to stay.”

Thor nodded. “Do you wish for me to leave?”

Loki said nothing. His hand wrapped tighter into Thor’s robe. Thor covered his hand, shifting its position until it sat over his heart.

“Thor.”

“Yes?”

“You are a fool to love me.”

Thor nodded again, but he smiled into his brother’s hair. Affectionately, he said, “Then a fool I will always be.”

 

\---

 

Eventually Loki drifted off, his breaths soft but irregular. Thor lied beside him for a few hours after, idly tracing the contours of his face and shoulders. His brother’s proximity soothed the dread that churned within him, though only enough that he did not give in completely to despair.

Everything Bruce had told him about Loki’s condition was dire. The ritual was incomplete; it was devastating how close they’d come to succeeding. There were problems with his skin, his bones, his organs. Whenever Thor asked Bruce if Loki showed any signs of recovery, he simply shook his head sadly.

Thor desperately wanted to go back to the other realms to acquire new ingredients for the ritual. The problem, of course, was that there was no guarantee that Loki could leave his current vessel for another. He was able to unbind himself from Thor, but to detach from a body that was wholly his own? The tome which outlined the ritual had been detailed with warnings and specifications, but Thor had no access to that text now. The outcome was uncertain and he feared what could happen; whether further meddling would result in a fate worse than death.

There was also the depressing reality that Thor had no idea how long Loki had left. If Loki was to die while Thor was in another realm...

Rocket’s arrival interrupted his brooding. Thor disentangled himself from Loki and sat on the edge of the mattress. Rocket took a deep breath.

“They wanna talk to you,” he said with a jerk of his head.

Thor gripped the sheets. “And what do they wish to discuss?”

“The gateway.”

Thor nodded, rubbing a palm over his face. He turned back to his brother.

“Will you watch him?” he asked Rocket, laying a hand on Loki’s forehead.

“Yeah, of course.” He sidestepped the mattress on the floor and climbed into a chair. “You should really go and clean yourself up though. Take a shower or somethin’. The others can wait.”

Thor huffed with amusement. “Very well.”

He brushed Loki’s forehead gently, then reluctantly let go.

“You will let me know if he wakes?”

“You got it, pal.”

For the first time in two days, Thor left that cold, miserable room. He made the journey to his bedroom, and for each step he took away from his brother, the sinking sensation in his chest worsened. Everything seemed like a blur around him, his vision narrowed into a long, dark tunnel.

Before he knew it, he was in his ensuite and stripping off his gowns. He stared at his naked reflection, his eyes trailing to the centre of his chest. The outline of his scar was still there, though the mark was flat and pale, only a shade lighter than the rest of his skin. He touched the mark with trembling fingers. If he was not staring directly at it, he would think the scar never existed in the first place.

Once inside the shower, he crumpled on the tiled floor, letting the scorching hot water rain down upon him. He stared unseeing at the glass walls, everything out of focus and far away. His hair, getting longer by the day, stuck to his forehead. He brushed it off and then hid his face in his hands. Although he did not weep, he spent a long time breathing into his palms, steadying his heart.

When he joined the Avengers half an hour later, he discovered them seated in the large dining room. Aside from Rocket, the only person absent was Scott. Thor hadn’t seen him since he emerged from the Quantum Realm.

“Thanks for joining us,” Steve said.

Tony dragged a chair out for him. Thor sat down heavily and combed fingers through his damp hair.

“Who is watching the gateway?” Thor asked.

“FRIDAY,” Tony answered. “She’s monitoring the whole thing.”

“And what state is it in?” Thor asked, leaning back in his seat and folding his arms.

“Worse. It’s getting bigger,” Natasha said gravely. “For now we’ve managed to hold off those monsters—”

“Tardigrades,” Bruce said.

“—but who knows how many more are coming or what else might be in there.”

“We need to close it,” Steve said, leaning his elbows on the table. “Thor, we need _you_ to close it.”

Thor’s leg jiggled anxiously. “I will certainly try, but it’s unlikely I will succeed. In fact, without sufficient control over the Bifröst’s power, I could very well make it worse.”

“But why can’t you do it?” Tony asked, who was the only person still standing. “What’s changed?”

Thor’s jaw clicked. “I trust that Banner and Rocket have filled you in on the situation with my brother.”

There were some nods. “For the most part,” Natasha said.

“While he was bound to me, Loki lent me his seiðr — his magic — so that I might be able to open these gateways,” Thor explained. “Without him, I do not possess enough seiðr, nor do I have the skills to wield it correctly.”

“How long would it take you to master those skills?” Steve asked.

“It is difficult to say,” Thor said truthfully. “Loki spent centuries developing his sorcery. Who knows how long it would take me to do the same.”

“So that’s it?”  Tony said, lifting his hands in the air. “Without Loki, we’re doomed? Is this the situation we’re in right now?” He looked at Steve with exasperation. “I feel like there’s some irony in all this.”

“For crying out loud…” Clint muttered, looking away.

Steve shook his head and then looked to Bruce. “And Loki’s in no condition to help, is he?”

“No,” Bruce said grimly. “He’s…” He glanced at Thor, then continued. “He’s weak...and deteriorating by the hour.”

“Could we take him to Shuri?” Steve asked hopefully. He looked at Tony for a moment, paused, and then hedged, “She—she fixed Bucky. I’m sure she could help.”

Tony sighed. “I already talked to her and, uh…” He rubbed the back of his head. “She wasn’t exactly _opposed_ to the idea, you know, on a _personal level_ , but for the Queen to bring a known murderer — sorry, Thor — to Wakanda? To heal someone who worked for Thanos — _sorry_ , Thor — and attempted to subjugate the human race?”

“It would be unwise to do so,” Thor intoned, his gaze distant and unfocused.

“There’s a whole committee she has to run it by and, uh—”

“I understand. She must do right by her people.”

Tony fidgeted at Thor’s side. “I’m sorry.”

Thor nodded. Grief entered his heart, wrapping around him painfully tight. He leaned his elbows on the table and rested his face in his hands. The darkness was a welcome relief.

Eventually, Thor said, “Your friend, this Scott Lang...he entered the Quantum Realm himself, did he not?”

“We actually retrieved the system he used,” Bruce informed him. “He’s not really sure how to use it though. He knows— knew? — some scientists that operated it.”

“The problem we have right now is that the gateway’s unstable,” Tony said. “So even if we use his machine, we can’t contain the gateway. What we need is to shrink down and control the gateway _just_ enough to seal the entrance within Lang’s machine. If we do that,” he said with determination in his eyes, “then boom — we’ve got ourselves a stable, permanent door to another dimension.”

“And then we can do the time warp!” came Scott’s voice as he entered the room. He yawned and stretched, arms spread wide to the ceiling. He blinked at Thor. “Oh, hey man! I was hoping to see you again. I’m Scott, by the way.” He offered his hand.

“Yes, I remember,” Thor said bemusedly, but shook his hand nonetheless.

“Oh! Here I thought you’d blacked out when I showed up. Sweet.” He went to retrieve his backpack from the couch, triumphantly procuring a muesli bar. “How are you feeling, anyway? You’ve been unconscious for, what, two days?”

Thor frowned at the rest of the Avengers, then turned back to Scott. “I was recovering for a time, but I have been caring for my brother.”

Scott frowned. “Huh. I didn’t know you had a brother.”

Bruce choked on his tea. Everyone else was silent.

“You didn’t...know...he had a brother?” Clint repeated.

“What? Did I say the wrong thing?” Scott said in confusion. “Man, I should look into more Norse stuff…”

“Where were you exactly, circa 2012?” Tony asked, brows raised in astonishment.

Scott took a bite out of his snack thoughtfully. “Hm...in prison? Yeah, in prison.”

“Of course,” Natasha and Steve muttered simultaneously.

Scott waved his hand. “Well, anyway, what’s wrong with your bro? Is he okay?” Scott asked Thor, his brows pinched with concern.

It was startling to witness _anyone_ showing genuine concern for Loki, let alone a human.

“He’s…” Thor sighed, already too exhausted from the previous conversation to entertain Scott. “My brother is dying.”

Scott stopped chewing. “Is he sick?”

“Injured, of sorts.” Thor shook his head. “His body is damaged beyond repair.”

Scott swallowed audibly. He frowned in contemplation, spinning his muesli bar between his fingers.

“I think I can help,” he declared.

“You _can?”_ Bruce said quizzically.

In response, Scott returned to his backpack and dug around inside. He muttered to himself, his tongue poking between his teeth.

“Here,” he said, offering a small, cylindrical container. Inside was a strange, shimmering fluid, like sunlight captured in a liquid form.

“What is that?” Steve asked in awe, slowly standing up.

“Quantum healing energy,” Scott said. He rolled the tube between his hands, causing the liquid to swish in a dazzling array of colours. “It puts people back together molecule by molecule.” He beamed at Thor, holding it out to him eagerly. “Don’t worry, we can get more if we need it. Go on! Take it!”

Thor’s heart pounded hard enough he swore the others could hear it. He jumped up, took a step forward, only Clint intercepted him. He swiped it right out of Scott’s hand.

“Clint…” Natasha said with uncertainty.

“Don’t get carried away,” Clint said coolly, twirling the tube. “Let’s discuss.”

“Barton,” Thor growled, rising to his full height and towering over him. “This is not up for debate.”

“Really?” he said, narrowing his eyes at Thor. He directed his attention to the others. “So, what do we all think? We’ve already got Thor’s and Scott’s votes.”

“Do not test me,” Thor said, his voice dangerously low.

“His brother’s dying, dude,” Scott said. “This isn’t a high school debate.”

Clint rounded on Scott. “Hey, did you know that his brother also murdered hundreds — no, _thousands_ of people in the name of Thanos?”

Scott’s brows raised to his hairline with alarm. “N—no, but—”

Natasha got to her feet and stood at Clint’s side. Thor half-expected her to agree with him, but instead she laid a hand on his arm and gently said, “Clint...we need Loki’s help.”

“Really, Nat?” Betrayal sat unpleasantly on Clint’s face. “Loki made me fight you. I could have _killed_ you.”

“I’m not saying he’s a good person,” she said firmly. “I’m saying our hands are tied.”

“The gateway is getting bigger every second,” Steve said, crossing his arms over his chest. “We don’t have time for this.”

“Thor hasn’t even _tried_ closing the portal by himself!” Clint exclaimed.

“I have already explained the risks!” Thor snapped. Sparks of lightning danced across his fists, but he forced the power away. Outside, thunder rumbled. “The process is delicate enough as it stands. If I am not careful, I could cleave your world in two! Do you really wish to take that risk?”

“Yeah, okay, let’s solve _one_ problem with _another_ problem!” Clint retorted. “We’ll be reviving a megalomaniac who wants to subjugate the human race, but hey, at least the portal is closed!”

“You are blinded by your grudge!” Thor snarled.

“And _you_ are blinded by love!”

_“OF COURSE I AM!”_

He spun away from Clint and slammed his fist through the table, causing dust and splinters to erupt around them. The windows rattled against the raging winds outside.

“Thor…” Bruce said carefully, both hands raised in supplication. “Easy, buddy.”

Thor forced himself to relax. He straightened, taking a shaky breath.

“He’s my family,” he said, his voice almost deafening in the silence. “For all his flaws, all his tricks, all his violence, he is my family. What would you do to bring your wife back?”

“It’s not the same!” Clint spat. “Laura is _nothing_ like your brother.”

“As people? No, of course not, but they are both loved and missed the same. What would you do to bring her back?” Thor asked again, tilting his head to the side. “If I stood in your way, what would you do?”

Clint’s hand clenched hard around the tube.

“Would you kill me?” Thor asked softly.

Baring his teeth, Clint answered, “Without question.”

Thor nodded thoughtfully. “And what does it say about my patience,” he said slowly, “that I have not already struck you down?”

The tension in the room heightened. Thor watched Clint without blinking, his fingers twitching with barely contained rage. Every muscle in Clint’s body was pulled taut, ready to snap at any moment.

“Barton,” Tony said cautiously, lifting his hands in surrender, “we gotta tackle one problem at a time, okay? First thing’s first: we close the gateway. _That’s_ the problem we’re dealing with right now.”

“And when Loki inevitably turns on us?”

“He won’t.”

It was Bruce who spoke. Everyone turned to him in surprise. He was hunched in on himself, avoiding Clint’s stare, but stood up straighter when he had everyone’s attention.

“You sound so sure,” Natasha said in surprise.

Bruce removed his glasses, rubbing one of his eyes. “That’s because I _am_ sure.”

Thor exhaled, “Bruce…”

“How could you possibly know that?” Clint demanded.

“Last time we faced him,” Bruce said thoughtfully, “he served Thanos. Loki tried to kill us, and he tried to kill Thor, his own brother.” He chewed his thumbnail, then continued, “But the last time I saw him...my memory is foggy I guess, but I _know_ he fought against Thanos, and I _know_ that he sacrificed himself to save Thor.”

He sighed then, looking at them all with a wry smile. Nobody moved or spoke.

“The Other Guy has done terrible things,” Bruce said carefully, “and by extension, I have too, but you’ve fought alongside a monster for years.” He shrugged helplessly. “The Hulk has hurt and killed plenty of people. Doesn’t mean he can’t _occasionally_ do the right thing.”

Clint sighed and massaged his temples. There was defeat in the line of his shoulders; he had lost this fight. Natasha placed a hand on the back of his neck, squeezing.

“Barton,” Thor said, holding out his hand. “ _Please_.”

Clint stared at the tube, running his thumb along the glass. He gazed at Thor then, opened his mouth and said—

“ _Mr Stark!”_ One of FRIDAY’s robotic cameras descended from the ceiling. “I’m detecting movement from the dimensional portal.”

Tony was already summoning his suit, the glove snapping soundly onto his hand. “How many?”

“Five,” she replied. A second later, she said, “Make that ten.”

“ _Ten?!”_ Tony balked.

There were a series of screeches from outside. Thor’s blood ran cold. The Avengers approached the windows and watched, horrified, at the sheer number of creatures erupting from the gateway.

“How many now?” Tony exhaled.

“It’s proving difficult to count them, Boss.”

Tony nodded, looking back at the others. Just as the iron mask slipped onto his face, he said, “It’s go time.”


	14. Chapter 14

Steve didn’t bother with a door — he took up his shield and charged straight through the glass wall, somersaulting through the air and landing hard on the earth below.

“Seriously?” Tony complained.

Natasha launched after him, landing gracefully at his side. Tony looked at FRIDAY’s camera and said, “Can we get a Hulkbuster suit to go, pretty please?”

“Say what now?” Bruce said, then cried out in alarm when the enormous iron suit launched right at him, attaching to his body piece by piece. “Aw, man…”

Tony, Bruce and Scott charged after the others then, speeding quickly toward the creatures swarming on the ground below. Thor and Clint remained, and after a beat, Thor looked to him, his jaw set.

“Barton.”

Clint watched the others for a moment, observing the battle unfolding before them. His eyes snapped to Thor, and then he tossed the container to him. Thor caught it, his heart in his throat. He held it close to his chest, staring at it in wonder. The tube vibrated steadily in his palms.

“Hey,” Clint said, catching Thor’s attention again, “I better not regret this.”

Thor nodded, hands clenching tight around the tube. “You won’t, my friend.”

Clint inclined his head, staring at Thor with a speculative gaze. His lips quirked. “I’ll see you down there,” he said, then jumped after the others.

Immediately, Thor took off in the direction of Loki’s room. He met with Rocket in the middle of the hallway, who was wide-eyed and wielding about five different guns.

“What the hell is goin’ on?!”

“Go to the gateway!” Thor told him, charging past without pause. “The others are already there.”

Rocket did not question him further, sprinting away and out of sight. Thor skidded around a corner and grabbed onto the door frame, using the momentum to pull himself into his brother’s room.

Loki was feverish. His Aesir flesh was pale and sweaty, while his Jötunn skin was tinged green. A violet flush ran across his cheeks and down his neck. When Thor placed a hand on him, he did not respond.

“Loki,” Thor said urgently, “are you still with me?”

Loki groaned, his eyelids twitching. Thor cupped his neck, angling his face towards him.

“I need you to sit up, brother.”

“Mmph…” Loki groaned again, attempting to curl out of Thor’s hand.

“Please.”

Loki’s brow furrowed with pain. He turned back to Thor with his eyes still shut and murmured, “Help.”

Somewhere close by, there was the piercing sound of glass shattering. Thor could hear screeching and chirping coming from the dining room. The building had been breached.

Thor slid an arm beneath Loki’s shoulders and dragged him upright. Loki stiffened and bit back a cry. Thor spotted fresh blood beginning to weep into the bandages around his stomach. Thor inhaled shakily and leaned Loki back against chest, supporting him while he opened the container.

“What…?” Loki tilted his head in the direction of the screeching. “What is…?”

“Focus on me, Loki.”

Thor angled Loki’s head back and brought the tube to his lips. He wasn’t sure if Loki was supposed to drink it or not, but he didn’t have time to second guess. There was the pounding of footsteps out in the hallway. They had maybe a minute.

The healing energy passed through Loki’s lips. Loki made a throaty sound of alarm, but Thor soothed him and murmured assurances into his hair. Loki did not duck away, though his body began to tremble the more he drank.

Thor tossed the empty tube across the room and held Loki as his trembling progressed to convulses. Loki inhaled sharply, his red eyes flying open and staring right past Thor. Thor watched in fascination as shimmering light swirled in his irises and then bled into his skin, following his kynlines all the way down his body. His skin, alight with energy, became unnaturally hot.

One of the creatures scuttled into view, shrieking and barreling into the wall. It was smaller than the one he first encountered, although still about the size of a horse. As the creature wedged half its body through the door, Thor eased Loki back onto the bed, then turned and charged.

He shoved his elbow into the creature’s head, knocking it back into the opposite wall. He found a fold around its neck and gripped hard, tossing it down the hallway towards the dining room. As it recovered, two more came into the view, clambering over one another. Thor cracked his neck and then ran straight at them, smashing his fists into their faces and forcing them back.

Thor kicked one in the side of its stomach, sending it careening through a glass wall and out onto the lawn. The other two tackled Thor, but he used the momentum of one to whip it around and smash it into the other. As they dragged themselves upright, Thor called to Stormbreaker. It crashed through a wall to meet soundly with his hand. He roared and dashed forward to carve the axe deep into one of their bellies, dragging it down and releasing bloody ooze all over the floor. It gurgled pitifully while the other began to back away. Thor sliced his axe cleanly through the other’s head, then kicked both of their dying bodies outside.

The hairs on his neck prickled. He reflexively rolled to the side as three large feet came down on top of him and left thick cracks across the tiles. Thor jumped back and assessed the new creature: it was about twice the size of the others with skin hardened like a shell. It hissed and spat ooze on the ground. Thor bent his knees, waiting to strike. The creature charged.

Before Thor could react, however, he heard the sound of quick footsteps behind him. A second later, someone ran up his back, boots digging into his flesh and using him as a launchpad. Thor winced and looked up, and then his breath left him all at once.

Loki sailed through the air above with his long cape billowing behind him. He released a shout and dug two blades into the creature’s face, tearing them sideways and knocking it off balance. He landed and ducked out of the way when the creature tried to stomp on him. He made a complicated hand sign to partially levitate the creature off the ground, then blasted energy into its belly. It cried out as it went sailing into the wall.

Thor observed all of this with his mouth hanging open, Stormbreaker held uselessly at his side. It was _Loki_ , completely healed with his Aesir skin and bright green eyes. His armour was magnificent in its green and gold. He wielded his Sakaaran blades and sported golden horns atop his head.

Loki tossed his hair out of his face and looked to Thor, his lips curving into a smirk. Thor shook himself out of his stupor.

“I thought we agreed to never do Booster Jump again.”

“Why?” Loki asked, eyes twinkling. “I thought you _loved_ Booster Jump.”

“I hate it,” Thor said with a grin.

“Wear thicker armour next time!” Loki suggested, then gave him a wink.

By the gods, Thor was embarrassingly in love with him.

The creature screeched with rage and dragged itself back to its feet. Its wounds seeped ooze onto the floor in wide, acidic puddles. Thor came to Loki’s side and held Stormbreaker at the ready.

“Its hide is thick,” Loki said, eyes narrowed. “Its underbelly is its weak spot. We hit it there.”

“Your levitation trick worked wonders,” Thor said. “If you can expose its weakness, I will strike it with my lightning.”

The creature sized the pair of them up, squaring its legs. Its sucking mouth made sick squelching sounds.

Loki grimaced. “Telekinesis is not so simple on such an enormous creature,” he said, then looked to Thor, “but I will find a way.”

Thor nodded. “To battle, then.”

The pair sprinted at the creature simultaneously. Thor reached the creature first and struck its shoulder with his axe. It barely cracked the outer shell. Loki, meanwhile, vanished into smoke and reappeared on top of the creature’s back. It was preoccupied with Thor, slamming its head into him. Thor fell back a few steps before running back in, hooking the axe into the creature’s neck and dragging it sideways. The creature screeched and bucked, nearly throwing Loki off him. His brother’s helmet clattered on the ground nearby. As it drew up on its hind legs, Loki’s eyes flashed and numerous blades pierced through its feet, pinning it to the floor with its gut half-exposed. Loki disappeared but the blades remained.

Thor called on the storms, allowing lightning to flow through his veins. As he raised his hand to strike, the creature howled and threw its weight upward, dislodging the knives. It rolled onto its front to block Thor’s lightning, the energy instead rattling across its shell. It hissed angrily but otherwise the damage was minimal. Thor growled and thrust lightning again, trying to hit its underarm or the soft folds of its neck, but he only managed to burn it slightly.

“Stop wasting your energy,” Loki said, appearing next to him.

“Well, expose its weakness and I won’t have to,” Thor retorted.

Loki rolled his eyes. “I’m getting to that.”

Loki darted forward and vanished, reappearing beside the creature. He made that same hand gesture as before and the creature levitated partially off the ground, its legs kicking and flailing in the air. With a grunt, Loki flipped it onto its back and jumped onto its belly. He summoned his knives and pierced its legs again, but this time he remained crouched on its stomach, forcing the blades deeper into its flesh.

Thor’s fingertips crackled with electricity. “Out of the way, Loki!”

Loki growled, barely managing to keep his balance when the creature bucked and writhed on the floor. “It’s going to break free. Strike it now!”

“Loki, you are standing on my target!” Thor exclaimed.

“You won’t hurt me! Strike it!”

“ _What?_ ” Thor just stared at him incredulously. “What do you mean I won’t  _hurt_ you? I’ll _kill_ you!”

“Trust me, brother.” Loki nodded at him. “You will not hurt me.”

“Are you seriously telling me to—?”

“ _Do it!”_

Thor hesitated, lightning sparking menacingly along his arms and all the way down to his feet. The creature wrenched one of its legs free but Loki conjured a new blade, pinning it back down. He forced the blades deeper, green light pulsing furiously from his hands. His arms shook from the effort.

“Thor, will you please just kill this thing?!” Loki snapped.

Thor gritted his teeth.

“ _Thor!”_

“Loki—”

“ _DO IT!”_

Thor roared and shot lightning right at them. Electricity burned a hole in the creature’s gut, a terrible smell assaulting Thor’s senses. In the centre of the lightning was Loki, seemingly untouched by Thor’s power. When Thor was sure the creature was dead, he released the storm and the lightning disappeared, leaving tiny sparks crackling across the creature’s twitching corpse.

Loki was covered in some of the creature’s ooze. He wrinkled his nose and waved his hands, easily cleaning up the mess. He strode off its body and chuckled, toeing at one of the creature’s legs.

“Well, I’m glad that worked.”

“You’re glad what worked?”

“I’m immune to your lightning,” Loki said cheerfully. “I suspected as much.”

Thor froze. “You...suspected? Loki, are you saying that you weren’t _sure_ if you were immune?”

Loki snapped his mouth shut, having the gall to look sheepish. “Well, it was a highly educated guess. After all, my seiðr doesn’t seem to affect _you_ any longer—”

“Loki.”

“—so it only makes sense that it works both ways.”

“ _Loki_ , are you saying I could have killed you just now?” Thor asked, his voice a low growl.

“Not at all,” Loki said, although he took a few anxious steps back. “I was exceedingly confident.”

Thor stared hard at his brother. He had _just_ gotten Loki back and his brother had nearly gotten himself killed again.

“You are an idiot,” Thor announced.

“Excuse me?” Loki balked.

“Do you do this to me on purpose?” Thor asked. “Do you _enjoy_ dancing with death?”

“It was a very sound theory!”

Loki backed up a few more steps as Thor strode towards him.

“I can hardly be certain without testing it!” Loki said. “Besides, that creature was being painfully troublesome. We needed to kill it somehow.”

Every step Thor took was equal to two of Loki’s.

“Just look at me, Thor. I am perfectly fine! Not a single scratch on me.”

“Stop talking.”

“Thor, I attempted to throw you off with my seiðr only a handful of hours ago, but you felt nothing.”

_“Stop talking.”_

“Your lightning is an extension of you! You housed my soul mere days ago! It’s hardly surprising that—wait, what are you—?”

Thor cupped his foolish brother by the neck and dragged him into a kiss.

Thor was furious. He could not _bear_ to hear Loki’s excuses or his _educated guesses_. The longer he kissed him, however, the quicker his anger faded. His hand relaxed into the curve of Loki’s neck, his thumb soothing the edge of his jaw. He hummed, parting his lips in invitation. Loki was frozen at first, his fingers fluttering uselessly against Thor’s armour, but his shock was short-lived. Loki tilted his head and sighed serenely into his mouth.

When Thor pulled back, he couldn’t help but grin. His brother looked positively dazed, his eyes half-lidded and his cheeks a pleasant shade of pink. He blinked slowly at Thor and murmured something that, despite their proximity, sounded like gibberish.

“Come again?” Thor asked, still grinning.

Loki swallowed and shook himself. His hands curled around the edge of Thor’s armour.

“You closed the distance,” Loki exhaled, something like awe in his voice.

Thor’s grin softened to a sincere smile. He looped a strand of hair behind Loki’s ear.

“How could I refuse you?” he said quietly.

Instantly, Loki dove forward and crushed their mouths together, his arms looping tightly around Thor’s neck. Thor staggered backward, needing to hold on to Loki’s waist to keep them both from tipping over. In that moment, Thor tasted years of affection, desire, frustration and anguish, all right there on the tip of Loki’s tongue.

Loki’s mouth was demanding, desperate. Thor ran fingers through his hair, matching his brother’s aggression with tenderness. At first Loki growled and nipped at his lip, trying to get a rise out of him. Thor retreated briefly and Loki’s lips chased after him. They stared at one another, Loki’s eyes shining with annoyance and desire in equal measure. Thor smiled and moved in again, kissing him slowly, deliberately, like he was a precious thing. The death grip around Thor’s neck eased. Loki made a quiet, delighted sound and melted into him.

For a few minutes, there was nothing and no one else that mattered. Loki was whole and perfect and _here_ and that deep, raw grief Thor had carried for weeks finally soothed.

They parted breathlessly, still clinging to one another. They bowed their foreheads together, inhaling the other’s breath.

As they stood there, they heard the commotion raging on outside.

“We should probably help your mortals,” Loki said, except he was staring longingly at Thor’s mouth.

Thor sighed and reluctantly said, “Yes, I suppose we should.”

They approached the shattered walls to assess the battle below. Even from this distance it was clear that the gateway was significantly bigger now, about the same size as the Hulkbuster. There were numerous dead creatures lying on the ground but there were plenty still racing across the grass. The Avengers were shouting to each other, most of them fighting on the ground while Tony and Rocket attacked from the sky.

“We must end this,” Thor said, bringing a hand to the small of Loki’s back.

“The portal is our priority,” Loki said. “We will have to clear a path.”

Thor summoned Stormbreaker to his hand. He settled his arm tightly around Loki’s waist. “Hold on.”

“We can _walk_ you know,” Loki complained, but wrapped an arm around Thor’s shoulders regardless.

“And where’s the fun in that?” Thor replied, his face splitting into a grin.

He thrust Stormbreaker and sent them flying into the air, Loki’s grip like a vice around him. They landed on the ground right in the middle of it all, a wave of lightning rippling across the earth and knocking back the creatures. The Hulkbuster stumbled slightly, but when Bruce saw the cause, he popped open his helmet.

“Hey, you’re alive!” Bruce called out cheerfully.

“Bruce,” Loki acknowledged, though he did seem quietly pleased by the reception.

The other Avengers were not so welcoming. There was caution in their eyes as they watched him, waiting for the inevitable betrayal. Loki returned their stares coolly, restraining himself from throwing out a barb or insult. Thor was almost proud of him for taking the high road.

Finally, Steve nodded to them and said, “Can you close the gateway?”

“With pleasure,” Loki replied, and made a beeline straight for it.

Thor and Loki fought off the creatures that got in their way. They were easy enough kills, only problematic due to their sheer numbers. Clint peppered the creatures with arrows while Natasha kicked and slashed at any that came too close. Bruce and Scott fought side by side while Tony blasted the creatures from the air. Steve fought below him, expertly flinging his shields into their weak spots. Rocket had acquired a jetpack from somewhere and was madly firing his guns in all directions.

Once they reached the portal, Thor gazed up at it in wonder. The border was jagged, cracking open wider with every passing second. He turned to Loki expectantly, who was assessing it through narrowed eyes. He met Thor’s stare and nodded.

Thor took Stormbreaker in both hands. Thor inhaled, nerves bubbling within him. For a moment, he was afraid. If the gateway hooked on to his energy again, who knows what could happen. They had gotten lucky last time… If Thor’s concentration broke, if he was too weak—

He startled when Loki’s hand came to rest over his own. He was pressed to Thor’s side, his other hand resting on his back. Loki smiled, small but earnest.

“I’m here,” he said simply.

Thor’s hands tightened around Stormbreaker. He held Loki’s gaze while the Bifröst’s power bled through him, the shimmering blue light reflected in his brother’s eyes. Together they raised Stormbreaker and shot energy directly at the gateway. Seiðr pulsed through him, more powerful than ever before. Thor channeled their combined magicks to bend the Bifröst to his will. With clenched teeth, Thor traced along the broken borders of the portal, slowly stitching it back together.

His friends circled them protectively, a shield against any incoming attackers. Energy and magic pulsed around them, causing the earth to quake. The sky was dark and growling with thunder. A bolt of lightning struck a nearby tree, setting it alight.

“Focus,” Loki murmured into his ear.

Thor’s entire body trembled. His knees were buckling but the stream of energy never faltered. Loki’s seiðr must be the only thing keeping it going at this point. With great determination, Thor summoned the final tendrils of his magic and forced it into Stormbreaker.

As the gateway began to close, Tony and Scott dashed out of Thor’s peripheries. Thor kept his attention firmly on the gateway, Loki’s steady hands keeping him grounded. The blue light was mesmerising, and the longer he stared at it, the more energy drained out of him. His hands were glued in place, just like last time. Fear began to ensnare his heart.

But then a strange, mechanical noise went off behind him.

“Heads up!” Tony cried out.

Loki grabbed Thor by the waist and forced him to the ground. The connection between the portal and Stormbreaker broke. From one blink to the next, golden light enveloped the gateway, locking its shape. No longer did the blue light shake and break apart — it was a perfect circle, vibrating steadily.

Thor pushed himself up on his elbows and saw the peculiar machine Tony and Scott now operated. It must be the same one Scott used to originally enter the Quantum Realm. Scott whooped with glee, then yelped when one of the remaining creatures dived for him. Clint effortlessly dispatched it.

With a sigh of relief, Thor flopped back onto the grass. Above him, the clouds parted as quickly as they had arrived, revealing brilliant clear sky. Loki drifted into his vision, his lips quirked with amusement.

“Tired, are we?” Loki asked.

“An understatement,” Thor chuckled. “We did it, brother. _We did it_.”

Loki bit his bottom lip. He huffed a laugh and said, “As much as I would _love_ to take the credit, the truth is that _you_ did it.”

Thor frowned. “I don’t understand.”

Loki lowered his voice and said, “You did not use a single drop of my seiðr. That was all you, brother.”

Thor stared at him, eyes wide with disbelief. “No, that cannot be. I felt your seiðr.”

“The mind is a strange thing,” Loki said with a curious quirk of his lips. “With enough conviction, reality is whatever we want it to be.”

There was a long pause. Thor was so dumbfounded that words failed him completely.

“If it makes you feel better,” Loki continued, “I sincerely doubt you could have done it without me at your side.”

“Right, of course.”

“In fact, perhaps I should claim most of the credit.”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Loki Odinson, hero of Midgard.” Loki looked at Thor solemnly. “You must be _so_ proud of me, brother.”

“Thank the Norns you’re here,” Thor laughed, swatting playfully at Loki’s mischievous face. Thor’s expression softened. “Loki...you're really here.”

Loki smiled, brushing a knuckle against Thor’s cheek. “So I am.”

 

\---

 

It took hours to clear away the bodies. Tony initially suggested to force them back through the gateway like a garbage disposal, but that idea was met with great opposition. An argument broke out, but then Rocket started incinerating the corpses with a comically large gun. That settled the debate rather quickly.

Later, everyone gathered in the living room. Rocket had produced _another_ gun that he was using to repair the damaged walls. Meanwhile, the rest of the Avengers sat in awkward silence. The only one completely at ease was Loki. He had asked FRIDAY for a glass of sweet wine and was now sipping it slowly, relishing the flavour. He sat in an armchair like it was his throne, and Thor stood behind him as his royal guard.

Steve cleared his throat. “So, uh, thanks.”

Loki inclined his head. He and Thor had agreed not to mention that Loki served mostly as moral support; that probably wouldn’t go down too well.

Tony asked, “Are you planning to stick around or…?”

Loki chuckled. “Worry not — I will not be _sticking around_ if Thor intends to leave. If you take issue with having me as a house guest, then please feel free to kick us both out.”

Thor crossed his arms and nodded.

“Oh, you can stay,” Clint said sweetly, “but maybe in a holding cell.”

“Barton,” Steve sighed.

Loki flashed him a grin. “It really is lovely to see you again, Clint.”

“Loki,” Thor sighed.

Loki leaned back in his seat, twirling his glass. “I promise to be on my best behaviour.”

“So no plans to take over Earth?” Tony asked.

Loki shrugged. “Not anytime soon.”

Thor flicked him in the ear.

“All right, fine!” Loki growled, nursing his ear. He smiled beatifically and said, “ _No_ , I will not be taking over Earth. All _I_ intend to do is assist my brother in restoring our people. We must make use of a time vortex to prevent Thanos’s massacre.”

“Then at least that gives us a common goal,” Natasha said.

“We’re actually gonna work with him?” Clint‘s expression was indignant, but the resigned curve of his shoulders suggested that he expected as much.

Thor deliberately placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “I do not ask you to forgive Loki for his crimes, but I do ask that you allow him to stay here. Returning to the past, stopping Thanos at the start — in this quest, my brother’s intentions are true.”

Tony rubbed a hand over his mouth, brow furrowed. He looked at Loki and said, “You worked for Thanos.”

“Very observant.”

“How was he?” Tony asked. “You know, as a boss.”

Loki’s eyes glittered dangerously. He bared his teeth and said, “Absolutely charming.”

“Did he pay overtime?” Tony asked casually. “How about penalty rates?”

“Stark,” Thor growled.

“What? I’m just—”

“I endured countless hours of his _teachings_ ,” Loki hissed. “To become one of his children, one must be remade in his image. One must be pulled apart and pieced together again and again until only the instinct to _serve_ remains.” Loki stood up, shaking off Thor’s hand. He slowly approached Tony and said, “You cannot _begin_ to imagine what it’s like to serve under a monstrosity such as Thanos.”

“Hmm, until only the instinct to serve remains…” Clint said. “So, basically what you did to me?”

Loki met Clint’s gaze. “Yes, although with quite a bit more torture involved.”

Thor’s hands balled into fists. The next time he encountered Thanos, he’d cut out his heart.

“So what’s your play then?” Tony asked. Although Loki stood closer to him now, he did not back down. “Restore your people, sure, but are you gonna help us take him down or what?”

“Surely you don’t think I still want to _work_ for him,” Loki said, an incredulous laugh bubbling in his throat. “I’d sooner carve out my own eyes than serve him. I would be positively _delighted_ to render him a bloody mess on the floor.”

Tony nodded, tapping his chin in thought. Thor’s jaw clenched, preparing to step in if Tony kept goading Loki. To Thor’s relief, however, Tony grinned and clapped a hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“Welcome to the team.”

“You’re not making him an Avenger,” Steve said in exasperation.

“What? No! No, of course not. He’s just…a contractor.”

Loki rolled his eyes and dropped back into his chair. He drained the rest of his wine. Thor rested his palm at the back of Loki’s neck, soothing a thumb across his hairline. The tension faded from his brother’s shoulders.

“So!” Tony clapped his hands together. “Shawarma, anyone?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! I really hope you enjoyed! I would love some kudos or comments if you are so inclined :3 it would mean a lot to me.
> 
> If you’d like to share my fic with your tumblr pals, consider reblogging my [tumblr post](http://cloudsmachinations-archive.tumblr.com/post/179528937040/written-for-the-thorkibigbang-challenge-summary)!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

“He’s fitting in better than I expected.”

Thor took a swig of his ale. “Do you think so?”

Bruce nodded, sipping his tea. “If someone told me this is where we’d be after the attack on New York, I’d have laughed in their face.”

The two of them were up on the roof of the Avengers Facility observing the work below. Tony had insisted on building a structure around the gateway, the kind that was protected by dozens of layers of security. It had only been a few days since they contained the gateway but the building was almost complete, including the undercover path connecting it to the main building. Thor considered Tony to be the most efficient being in the universe.

Loki had taken a keen interest in the project, often accompanying Tony and offering his magic for small tasks. He was down there now, standing at Tony’s side and discussing something with him and Scott. Thor felt a swell of pride in his chest.

“Things are...good?” Bruce hedged. “You know, uh, between you and Loki?”

“Yes,” Thor said. It was still a surprise he could answer that honestly.

“I haven’t seen you two hanging out much.”

Thor inclined his head thoughtfully. They had not spent much time together, it was true. When Loki wasn’t helping with the gateway, he disappeared for hours at a time. His absence put many of the Avengers on edge, but Thor’s concern was minimal. It was true that Loki flourished in conversation, but Thor could hardly blame him for wanting to be alone.

“We spent every waking moment together for two months,” Thor chuckled. “Space is good for the both of us.”

Bruce finished the rest of his tea and grabbed the teapot beside him, pouring a fresh cup. “What’s it like to be, you know, _you_ again?”

Thor frowned, smearing away the condensation on his ale. “It is not so different. I was always myself. I just had no personal space.”

“He lived inside you for weeks,” Bruce said. “Can you feel—I mean, can you feel where he used to be?”

Thor chewed the inside of his cheek. He looked at Loki for a moment, watching as he levitated a clipboard out of Scott’s hands and into his own. He turned his back as Scott squawked loudly. Thor couldn’t help but smile.

“There is an emptiness now,” Thor admitted. “My brother carved out a space for himself. It’ll likely fill in eventually, but...yes, I suppose I do feel it. I feel that absence.”

“You know, I wonder about—about me and the Other Guy. You know, if the Hulk somehow went away, what would that be like?” Bruce scrunched his nose. “Jeez, surely I wouldn’t actually _miss_ the guy.”

“How is he, by the way?”

“Still not talking to me,” Bruce said. “He’s a temperamental bastard.”

They both chuckled and a comfortable silence settled between them. Thor followed Loki’s silhouette, the afternoon light illuminating him in a crimson glow. As ridiculous as it seemed, he _missed_ Loki, though his brother was not so far away. Thor yearned for his presence, for that familiar buzz in his chest. He was grateful to have privacy again, but there was an ache beneath his ribs that wouldn’t go away; a loneliness he just couldn’t seem to shake.

Bruce stared at Thor curiously. “It’s been a really weird time for you two, huh?”

Thor laughed. “An understatement, my friend.”

“I thought I heard you two yammerin’ up here,” Rocket said, dragging himself up onto the roof. He plonked down beside Bruce, helping himself to what looked like some rather expensive whiskey.

“How go the repairs?” Thor asked.

“Please, I finished this morning,” Rocket said with a cocky grin. “I’ve been sleeping all day. I feel a million bucks.”

“Wish I could sleep all day,” Bruce muttered. “Seriously, every time I lie down, Tony’s there five minutes later and pestering me to come help him. Doesn’t matter what time of day it is!”

“Does he even know _how_ to sleep?” Rocket asked.

“I have not witnessed it myself,” Thor said sagely.

The three sat there quietly, drinking and watching the sunset. Truthfully, Thor had not felt this at peace in a long time. Between Sakaar and the Statesman, there was always a challenge to be conquered, never a pause for breath. Thor inhaled now, closing his eyes against the glow of the sun.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you both.” Thor turned to meet their intrigued faces. “These past couple of months, you have been great friends to me.”

“Aw, shucks,” Rocket said. “It ain’t a big deal.”

“It _is,_ Rocket, truly. Had you not taken me to the Statesman to find my brother, or—or confided in Bruce when you found me injured...and Bruce, if you had not helped Loki during our separation—” Thor swallowed, his hands gripping his bottle tightly. “I know without question that things would not have turned out this way. Because of you, I have my brother back and my will to fight is stronger than ever.”

Thor clapped a hand on Bruce’s shoulder and nodded to Rocket. While Thor was misty-eyed, he beamed at them both.

“It is an honour to have you as my allies,” he said, “but a greater privilege to have you as my friends.”

“The privilege is all mine, bud,” Rocket said.

“Hey, thanks to you, I’m no longer a dancing monkey for the people of Sakaar.” Bruce smiled and clinked his teacup carefully against Thor’s drink. “So cheers, man.”

Thor’s grin widened. “Cheers.”

 

\---

 

With a weary sigh, Thor stepped out of the shower. He dragged a towel over his head, pressing his face soothingly into the fabric. He and the Avengers had drunk plenty tonight, indulging themselves to celebrate the completion of the gateway’s _Fortress_ (as Tony called it). While the others had been heavily inebriated, Thor was almost sober. He felt relaxed, warm and sleepy, and he was more than ready for bed.

He wrapped the towel around his hips and made his way out of the en-suite. He paused mid-step, caught by surprise.

“You’re early,” Thor said.

Loki leaned casually against the wall. He was dressed in a robe patterned in black and green, made of fine silk. His eyes trailed leisurely over Thor’s naked torso before locking eyes with him.

“I didn’t realise we had a schedule.”

Despite having his own room, Loki had been making himself comfortable in Thor’s bed each night. It seemed that Loki was struggling with their separation as much as he was. Unless of course he just delighted in waking Thor up in the middle of the night, which would hardly be surprising. Either way, Thor didn’t mind.

Loki’s eyes drifted back down Thor’s exposed skin. Thor grinned, basking in the attention. He rested his hand low on his hip.

“Something on your mind, brother?”

Loki kicked off the wall and strode towards him. Thor’s eyes widened — the robe revealed a _lot_ more of Loki’s chest than he expected, especially considering his brother’s penchant for covering himself from head to toe. But no, the robe split into a deep V, exposing muscles that Thor couldn’t help but eyeball.

“I was curious…”

Thor snapped his head up. Loki’s lips were twisted in a smirk. Thor swallowed.

“Curious about what?”

Loki stopped only a couple of feet away, easily within arm’s reach. He leaned in a little, wet his lips and said, “The mark.”

Thor blinked. “The what?”

Loki’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Your scar, brother.”

Thor followed Loki’s eyeline to the mark on his chest. “Oh.”

“I did not expect it to linger,” Loki said. “Although it has healed rather well.”

Thor nodded vaguely. He had formed a habit of brushing his fingers against it and he did so now. It was hardly noticeable but the skin was still just that little bit lighter, that little bit softer.

“I had a scar to match,” Loki said.

Thor frowned at Loki’s unmarred skin. “Had?”

“The healing elixir removed it. Scott told me it is a simple enough process to acquire more. I’m sure you would rather have yours removed considering how often you take your shirt off.”

“I was in the shower!”

“That is hardly relevant.”

“How is—?!” Thor raised both hands and took a steadying breath. “Do not rile me, Loki. And besides, I do not want to remove it.”

It was Loki’s turn to be caught off-guard. “What do you mean?”

“Exactly as I said.”

“But why?”

Thor shrugged. “You might call it sentiment.”

Loki’s expression softened slightly. “Don’t be ridiculous, Thor. It is unsightly.”

Thor rolled his eyes and brushed past him, heading for the bedclothes lying on his mattress. “It is not _unsightly_ , Loki.”

“Scott offered to retrieve more of the elixir. He could get it as early as tomorrow.”

“I do not want it, brother.”

“Thor—”

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Thor asked, turning back to Loki. It was a subtle thing, but Loki’s foot was tapping incessantly — one of the few tells that Thor had picked up on after all these years.

Loki folded his arms. “It was my spirit that burned you. You bear my mark.”

“I do.”

“So remove it.”

Thor stared at him in bemusement. “The leaps your mind makes, Loki...I cannot follow you.”

“I would be shocked if your pitiful brain could even—”

Thor raised his hand to silence him. “I wear this mark with pride, brother.”

A peculiar expression fell across Loki’s features. He said nothing.

“Is it that difficult for you to understand?” Thor asked. “Our souls were bound together. I will never forget what that felt like. I will bear this mark gladly until the end of my days.”

Loki bit his lip. He took several steps closer, maintaining eye contact all the while. His gaze was fierce.

Thor’s frown deepened. “You feel indebted to me.”

“Of course I do!” Loki snapped. “I have every reason to be. I owe you _everything_.”

“You owe me nothing,” Thor said. He clasped his brother’s shoulders. “ _Nothing_ , Loki. Do you understand?”

Loki chuckled mirthlessly. “You say that now.”

“Loki…” Thor tilted Loki’s chin up. “Do not think of this as a mark of burden. There is no debt to be paid. This mark means more to me than that, and so it should for you.”

Loki nodded stiffly. “And what does it mean to you?”

Thor smiled, resting his palm against Loki’s neck. “It represents a bond so powerful that not even the Mad Titan could break it.”

Loki released a shuddering breath. Suddenly, he reached out towards the scar.

“May I?” he asked quietly.

Thor nodded. “Of course.”

Loki hesitated for a moment. Gently, he pressed his hand flat to Thor’s skin.

And all at once, Thor was bombarded:

_Guilt. Gratitude. Love._

Loki jerked back, clasping his hand in shock. Thor stared at him in amazement.

“You felt it,” Thor said breathlessly.

“Yes.” Loki glanced at his hand and back to the mark. “A soul knows a soul.” His jaw clenched tightly, his eyes strangely bright. “My mark burned deeper than I thought.”

Thor offered his hand and said, “Come here.”

Loki shook himself, a series of emotions passing so fleetingly across his face that Thor could discern none of them. “Bound in all ways but blood,” he murmured.

“Loki,” Thor called softly. “Come here, brother.”

There was something like panic in Loki’s eyes. Thor smiled, beckoning him. After a moment’s deliberation, Loki took his hand. Thor squeezed and tugged him closer. They watched one another silently. Slowly, Thor brought Loki’s palm back to his chest.

_Fear._

Courage, Thor responded.

_Uncertainty._

Comfort.

Loki gasped and pressed harder against Thor’s chest. His eyes squeezed shut.

_Gratitude._

Love.

Loki shivered. His brother’s fingers pressed deep into the mark, eliciting a quiet gasp from Thor’s lips. His heartbeat sped up, thundering beneath Loki’s palm.

When Loki opened his eyes again, his pupils were blown wide.

_Desire._

Without hesitation, Thor drew Loki against his chest. Their mouths found one another, and the sound that fell from Loki’s lips was the most exquisite thing Thor had ever heard. Loki devoured his mouth utterly while Thor pressed exploratory hands beneath his brother’s robe, dragging fingers across his toned back. Loki ran his hand down the length of Thor’s torso and tucked a finger beneath the towel, toying with the knot that held it in place.

Thor would have no barriers between them ever again if he could help it. He let the towel drop to the floor. Completely exposed now, Thor pulled back a few inches. Loki’s lips were parted, reddened and inviting. Thor dragged his hands back up Loki’s body and slowly, reverently slipped the robe from his shoulders. The garment landed beside the towel.

“Nothing underneath, brother?” Thor asked with a quirked brow.

“Well, it was hardly necessary,” Loki replied with a predatory smirk.

Thor grinned as Loki pushed him back onto the bed and climbed into his lap. With one hand planted on the mark, Loki grinded down _hard_. Pleasure reverberated from one to the other, enough to knock the wind out of them both.

“Oh my,” Loki said, then did it again.

Thor grabbed Loki’s hips. “Wait.”

“Something wrong?” Loki rolled his hips.

Thor clenched his jaw. “I...I am—”

“Ah.” He smirked knowingly. “Sensitive, are we?”

Thor scowled. “Yes.”

“Did you really not—” Loki broke off, his breath catching when Thor rubbed his thumbs over his nipples. “Did you not touch yourself while I was—”

“Of course not! You were rr— _ahh_ , you—you were right _there!”_

Loki’s grin widened to something truly wicked. He leaned forward and exhaled against Thor’s lips, “I could have watched.”

Thor shuddered. Loki reached back between his legs and took Thor in hand, gripping deliciously tight.

“I could have _helped.”_

With a growl, Thor claimed his mouth. Thor offered his lips, his tongue, _himself_ willingly, desperately. Loki may have left his mark but Thor would not let him to stop there. He would have him in any way possible; would know him so intimately they would be entangled forever.

The need for release built dizzyingly quick. When Loki sank down on Thor at long last, the sensation was maddening. Fire burned in Thor’s veins, and he could feel that same fire alight in Loki. Every sound from Loki’s lips poured from Thor’s. When he wrapped a hand around Loki’s erection, it was as if he stroked them together. They were perfectly, unbearably in sync.

As his pleasure peaked, Thor sat up and crushed their chests together. Loki arched beautifully, his mouth falling open in bliss. Thor’s orgasm hit first, his toes curling against the floor. He snapped his hips, thrusting deeper still, and whited out with pleasure as Loki’s moans fell like music against his ears.

He might have been satisfied with just the one orgasm. But then Loki’s own orgasm hit and the ecstasy crashed into Thor so ferociously he found himself coming again.

And again.

And it didn’t _stop._

Each orgasm hit before the previous had finished. Their pleasure was an echo chamber, drawing them back into oblivion too many times to count. There was nothing but this, their mutual ecstasy; their bodies possessed with earth-shattering lust.

Eventually, Loki cried out and pushed Thor back onto the mattress. The connection was broken. Loki drew in huge lungfuls of air, his thighs trembling across Thor’s hips. Thor blinked, his arms flopped beside him uselessly. Loki swept his dark hair out of his face to reveal flushed skin shining with sweat. Carefully, he slid off, the sensation pulling a low whine from Thor’s throat. He collapsed next to Thor and they stared wide-eyed at the ceiling.

For a few minutes, there was only the sound of their breathing. Thor swallowed.

“Do—do you still want me to get rid of the—?”

“Don’t even think about it.”

They turned to each other in unison. With ecstasy still simmering in their blood, they could not help but laugh. They laughed loudly, gleefully; the pure sound of unadulterated delight.

When their laughter faded away, Loki brought a hand to Thor’s cheek, trailing cool fingers over warm skin. Thor stilled beneath him and smiled. Loki touched him softly, inquisitively. He combed his fingers through his damp hair. As Loki gazed upon him, Thor could see the sweetness in his eyes.

“I did not think you would be like this,” Thor said.

Loki tilted his head. His hand did not pause in its ministrations. “Like what, exactly?”

“Earnest,” Thor said. “Open with your affections.”

Loki hummed and rolled onto his stomach. “Well, if I lied all the time, it would be terribly predictable.”

Thor’s heart thumped loudly.

“Oh no,” Loki sighed. “That look on your face.”

“What?”

“You have that  _look_ , brother. The embarrassing one.”

“What look? I don’t have a _look.”_

Loki gave him an unimpressed stare. Thor laughed, his eyes crinkling.

“Although, now that you mention it—”

“Thor.”

“—this might be a good time to say—”

“Don’t do it.”

“—that my heart is unequivocally yours.”

“There it is.” Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. “You are so embarrassing.”

“It is the truth, brother.” He leaned in closer and pressed his lips to Loki’s temple. “I am your fool, remember?”

Loki tried to look annoyed, but his mouth curved into a secretive smile. He turned his head so that their noses brushed together.

“How could I forget?”

 

\---

 

When Thor had attempted to take another shower, Loki snagged his arm and dragged him back down.

“You’re not going anywhere yet.”

“ _More?_ ” Thor said incredulously. “Brother, I am not sure if I’m ready for more.”

Loki raised a brow. “How disappointing. Well,” he said, running his finger across Thor’s bottom lip, “there are other ways you can service me.”

“Are you really so insatiable?” Thor asked, grinning.

“This is a brand new body, Thor. It has _needs.”_

Thor playfully nipped the tip of his finger. Desire darkened Loki’s eyes.

“As you wish,” Thor said, and then sucked the digit into his mouth.

Loki had kept him rather busy after that.

It was well past midnight by the time they stumbled into the bathroom. The room was bathed in ethereal moonlight, everything painted a soft shade of blue. Thor made to turn on the lightswitch but Loki batted his hand away. He placed his palm on Loki’s back instead, unable to shake the need to touch him. They stepped beneath the cold water and sighed with relief as the sweat and stickiness washed away.

Loki’s hair was a complete mess. Thor smiled when he noticed the braid still wound in his hair, though it was tangled and coming apart. Loki did not resist when Thor slowly pulled the strands loose. His brother’s eyes were half-lidded and distant; lost in his own world.

As Thor picked up the shampoo, he paused. A delicate, floral fragrance entered his nose. Thor sniffed the bottle, but the scent was entirely different. Eventually, it triggered a memory.

“Everlast.”

Loki blinked at him. “What?”

“The flowers of Álfheimr.” He leaned in and nuzzled into Loki’s wet hair. “You smell like—”

“Ah.” Loki’s lips quirked. “A strange side effect of the ritual, perhaps?”

“You smell incredible,” Thor said. “Why am I only noticing it now?”

Loki glared at him. “I have _always_ smelled divine.” He then cupped his hands beneath the flow of water and splashed it on his face. The scent grew stronger.

“Incredible!” Thor said brightly. “Like a watered plant!”

“I’m not a _plant.”_

“You are a little.”

Loki rolled his eyes, but then he chuckled. “You’re such an idiot.”

Thor beamed. He poured shampoo into his palm and lathered Loki’s hair, massaging deep into his scalp. Loki sighed with pleasure, eyes falling closed. Thor ran his fingers all the way from root to rip and delighted in the floral scent that followed when he rinsed it out.

Loki’s eyes fluttered open. Thor froze, noticing the expression on his brother’s face. There was a vulnerability there he had not seen in a very long time.

“What troubles you?” he asked, cupping the side of his neck.

Loki inhaled sharply. His brow pinched. “Brother...what you did for me was no small feat.”

“Come now, Loki, you do not owe me—”

“ _Listen,”_ Loki said. His lips pressed tightly together. He lowered his gaze, water clinging prettily to his eyelashes. “You went above and beyond for me...and I _never_ deserved such a thing.”

“Loki, don't—”

“There are few people in this universe that deserve such devotion,” Loki said firmly. “I am not one of those people, and yet you risked everything to save me.”

“And you have saved my life as well, Loki, on multiple occasions.”

“This is different, Thor!” Loki shook him by the shoulders. “You gave yourself over to me! You offered your body and soul as _sanctuary_ , and I—” A sob suddenly broke through. “Your love, your—your affection for me...it is a force of nature.” His lip trembled. “And I am not worthy.”

“Ah, but it is _I_ who decides who and how to love.” He smoothed a thumb along Loki’s cheek. “And I deem you worthy, brother.”

Loki bit his bottom lip, choking back another sob. Thor smiled gently.

“Love me as ardently as I love you. That is all I ask,” Thor said. “But you already do, don’t you?”

Loki exhaled shakily. Quietly, he said, “I am terribly sweet on you, brother.”

“Then I ask nothing more of you.” He brushed away the hair on Loki’s forehead, sweeping the water droplets from his skin. “Your debt is paid.”

Loki stared at him with tears in his eyes. “There is no one in the Nine Realms who would go this far for me. No one except you.”

Slowly, Loki drew Thor towards him and pressed a kiss to his forehead, his hands curling in his hair.

“Thank you,” he breathed into Thor’s skin. He brought their foreheads together. “Thank you, brother.”

Thor embraced him there beneath the running water. Their chests touched and there was no lust, no desire; only a mutual yearning for comfort. When their lips met, it was with aching tenderness.

“I would do it all again,” Thor said.

And he would.

“I know,” Loki said.

And he did.

 

\---

 

Tony rubbed his hands together gleefully. “Here we go, here we go, here we go.”

He swept his arms wide, smiling confidently at the Avengers. Behind him was the currently deactivated gateway, but Bruce stood ready and waiting at the controls. Scott was at Tony’s side, the pair of them wearing their usual armoured suits.

Thor looked to his friends, relieved when he saw excitement rather than trepidation. He focused on Loki then, who stood to his right with his hands clasped behind his back. They would need protection in the Quantum Realm, so he and Thor were dressed in similar suits to Tony. Loki had wrinkled his nose in distaste at the red and gold. Much to Thor’s amusement, Loki had immediately enchanted his suit to an emerald green.

Loki was tapping his foot restlessly. Thor asked, “Nervous, Loki?”

“Not at all,” he said, ceasing his tapping. “Are you?”

Thor shrugged. “With you and my friends by my side? No. This is but another adventure, brother.”

“One with high stakes.”

“And high reward.” Thor intended to say more, but then he noticed his brother’s hair.

Loki narrowed his eyes. “What is that ridiculous smile for?”

Thor reached out and hooked a finger around the neatly plaited braid. It had been wound back into place under Loki’s skilled hands. His grin broadened.

“Feeling sentimental?”

Loki rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were turning pink.

Thor bumped shoulders with him. “ _Now_  who’s the embarrassing one?”

“Oh, shut up.”

At that moment, Tony said, “Ladies, gentlemen, distinguished guests...welcome to the grand opening of the Quantum Realm.”

“Is he always this dramatic?” Rocket asked Steve loudly.

“As long as I’ve known him, yeah,” Steve replied.

“Is it so wrong that I’m pumped about this?” Tony grumbled. “Come on, guys. You’re killing me here.”

“Just open the gate already!” Clint said.

“Hey!” Bruce chimed in. “Safety demo first!”

“Really? I thought you were joking about that...no?” Tony shrugged beneath Bruce’s death glare. “Fine, fine. Scott, put your helmet on. It’s dangerous in there.”

“Yeah, uh, I’ve kind of been there bef—”

“Yeah, yeah.” He turned to Thor and Loki. “Norse God Uno and Dos, you guys need to wait a few minutes before you come in after us. Oh,” Tony paused, looking to the group at large. “Does anybody have any objections to the morally grey trickster going through the magic time vortex?”

Everyone looked at Clint then, who sighed. “ _No,_ no objections from me.”

“My, my.” Loki smiled sweetly. “Are you actually starting to _like_ me, Clint?”

“Go to Hell,” Clint said cheerfully.

“ _Anywho_ ,” Tony said, “I think that’s about it. Bruce?”

“You skipped almost _all_ of the safety precautions I wrote down.”

“Perfect!” Tony clapped his hands. “Let’s do this, team.”

“All right, hang on to me,” Scott said, holding out his hand. “We don’t want to get separated.”

Tony delicately took his hand and batted his lashes. “Well, aren’t _you_ the gentleman?”

“I try.”

Natasha stepped forward. “If you guys don’t return in 24 hours, Steve and I come in after you. That’s still the plan, right?”

“Everyone’s got trackers in their suits,” Steve said. “We’ll be able to find you. Radio in when you can.”

Tony and Scott gave them the thumbs up.

“All right, hit it!” Tony called to Bruce.

Bruce rubbed a hand over his face in dismay. “Here goes nothing,” he said, and then pulled the lever.

The gateway opened, the incandescent light swirling before them. There was no overwhelming burst of energy, no cracks in the gate. The machine whirled to life around it, keeping it secure. Tony whistled and clicked his helmet into place. He and Scott walked forward and were swallowed into the realm beyond.

Thor and Loki approached. They stood side by side, eyes fixed on the gateway. After a minute or two, Bruce gave them the signal. Thor took a deep breath.

“Ready, brother?” he asked.

Loki’s mouth curved into a small, confident smile. “Yes,” he said, taking Thor’s hand. “I’m ready.”

Thor returned his smile. Their fingers locked together.

And they walked, unafraid, into the light.


End file.
